Moving to the U.S. 90% likely, where would you live?

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I think I'll have to just wait and see, take it one day at a time, and not overthink it as my partner has mentioned. It is undeniably a little scary to plan for such a big move and yes @Learner1 my illness makes it all the more concerning.

I'm sort of hovering between Philadelphia, Denver, and Seattle for different reasons. The hot and cold fluctuations are not extreme, so they all have that in common.

Pros/cons:

Seattle: the fact that it is prone to some major natural disasters has really worried me. My partner absolutely hates grey skies. Advantage: absolutely beautiful natural environment, apparently good healthcare/naturopaths/functional medicine doctors. Expensive to affordable based on my budget. Nice suburbs appear to be a close drive from downtown.

Denver: weather that appeals to both of us. Does not have the incredible nature of Seattle (it does, but it is not the kind of nature that one lives "in" -- it doesn't have the lush abundant nature, large trees, etc). But then again, maybe I should de-romanticize as mentioned above and take the best of what I can get. A little unsure about the medical resources but Denver seems to offer something in the way of competent doctors/medicine. Expensive to affordable based on my budget. Does not appear to be a walker friendly city.

Philadelphia: four distinct seasons, weather does not appear to be extreme, connected to other hubs on the East coast. Not sure if it offers much in the way of major universities and by extension if anybody there is known for their medical expertise. Appears to be affordable. Nice suburbs appear to be farther away from downtown.
Since you guys are gays I suggest NYC.
 

vision blue

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I wonder if asia might be a better place to look. When i lived in korea i found their medical system more functional than in the us.
What is medical care access like (and cost ) for non S Koreans? Also curious whether they take CFS seriously as a real physical illness. And did you ever go to a Traditional Korean Medicine practitioner? Thanks.
 

bensmith

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@vision blue - my care and access was good, but my coverage was tied to work. But i think yoh can still get access without working iirc. Not sure though. Cost was cheap. 20 dollars for ear nose throat doctor apointment, and he took out stuff out of ear. Maybe 15 for meds. Not sure about them and cfs. No i didn’t, traditional.
 

lenora

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Hi@gm286.....I've written to you before, but wanted to again since I also lived in Toronto, Saskatchewan and then back to Toronto again. As you're aware housing is very expensive in Toronto, although the upward trend has slowed down somewhat. Toronto's a great city to live in, very diverse with a good subway line.

Here, the closest may be Philadelphia. I have friends who are there (from Dallas originally, the husband from Alberta) and while she loves it, he doesn't....but they'll certainly be staying. She has MS and cancer, their daughter (now grown) suffers from Juvenile Diabetes. Excellent medical care is available.

I would encourage you to move into a gay community if at all possible. After all, your partner needs to feel like he belongs somewhere. Doubt that you'll find much French in Philly, but you will find plenty of natural beauty and you'll be able to take trains to NYC for theatre and Washington (just go the tourist route). Both good for daily or weekend trips. Wouldn't even consider Baltimore....crime rather is too high. I'm from the northeast myself and found Dallas very difficult at first. Now it's home and we do have parts of town that are heavily gay oriented....a huge community, as a matter of fact. Crime rates can be checked by calling the local police station...or even dropping by.

Home prices have escalated over the past no. of years & months even and you do have to be careful where you buy. Development of downtown is in full swing and parks have been added. My husband is a developer so these things are nice to see (now that I can't take advantage of them any longer). I would still suggest that you rent to begin with....I'm sure you could rent a furnished place for 6 mos. and I mean that for wherever you go. It's what we should have done, although we may have ended up exactly where we are.

If I were younger, or in better health I may consider moving back to the northeast. But like I said, this now the home of my children. Your partner will find France his home of the heart forever...just be prepared. There are French language schools that you'll be able to find the names of French clubs, etc., so that your partner doesn't feel left out. Personally, my husband is British (as was my mother, I consider myself a citizen of both the U.S. and the U.K. with Canada thrown in, too.) I'm not interested in people who are constantly complaining about how wonderful the place they left is.....I came to a new place, it didn't move in next to me. So that's something for him to watch out for if he's trying to make friends. We ultimately made lots and lots of friends here, but they're either ill or dying. That's the end of life and it happens.

I did miss our friends in Toronto for a long time....even though we visited there and they came here. We're still in contact with them 43 years later. As you know, most people have a love/hate relationship with the U.S. I'm American myself, my hubby British & Canadian and our daughters are tri-nationality because they were born in Canada. One is here in Dallas (the reason we didn't leave) and the other has a home just outside of San Francisco. Both consider Dallas their home, although the one in CA is smart enough to realize that she'll settle in there also.

You'll settle in wherever you go....just give it time. You must be very confused by our multiplicity of answers...sorry about that. Advice: Don't get a yard that's too large. And those huge old trees do have a life span. My hometown (PA) doesn't look the same at all today for many of those reasons. Great answers from those who gave them to you. Yours, Lenora.
 

vision blue

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@vision blue - my care and access was good, but my coverage was tied to work. But i think yoh can still get access without working iirc. Not sure though. Cost was cheap. 20 dollars for ear nose throat doctor apointment, and he took out stuff out of ear. Maybe 15 for meds. Not sure about them and cfs. No i didn’t, traditional.
Thanks. Given the endorsement to the OP of Asian, particularly S. Korean, health care, I thought maybe you had experience with it for CFS medical care.
 
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gm286 said "Denver, CO sort of appeared on the list as a "Beta city" -- less developed than Boston or Vancouver, yet definitely more affordable. It gets all four seasons and has natural beauty. Denver seems to have it all minus the natural, "abundant" foliage, the oaks, of the East Coast." and "Denver: weather that appeals to both of us. Does not have the incredible nature of Seattle (it does, but it is not the kind of nature that one lives "in" -- it doesn't have the lush abundant nature, large trees, etc). But then again, maybe I should de-romanticize as mentioned above and take the best of what I can get. A little unsure about the medical resources but Denver seems to offer something in the way of competent doctors/medicine. Expensive to affordable based on my budget. Does not appear to be a walker friendly city. "

Hi, I lived in Denver for the last 10 years and it's more like you get all 4 seasons in one afternoon. I'm from the east coast and didn't realize that the climate in Denver would bother me so much, it's dry, it tends to look brown and dry although there are very pretty parks there, the weather changes rapidly daily. It felt like there was no spring and fall. I never had a winter jacket in Denver bc it rarely stays cold enough. It snows and the snow disappears, it rains and the rain disappears so it never feels like a nice soggy or snowy week. The sun is very strong bc ur closer to it, some people report enjoying this bc they have a large number of days clear and sunny. The high altitude seriously bothered me and my symptoms grew from this for some reason it was a big stress on my body, probably many people wouldn't have this issue. There is no natural water near if you like beaches you are land locked.
Denver has developed greatly and the rents are out of control, there is a growing tech presence bringing in money and workers plus they legalized weed a while ago. I got there when it was still cheap and had the same landlord for 9 years, but I would guess he's charging at least twice the amount I paid, maybe more. There's a lot of traffic getting into the mountains. I lived in Cheeseman park which is the gay neighborhood and it's very walkable which I'm a big fan of I really loved that part of it. My Drs. were ok I wasn't seeking out treatment for me/cfs or fibromyalgia while I was there so I'm not sure.
 

Mouse girl

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There are loads of Frenchies here in LA and loads of every kind of person in LA. Moving while sick is a huge gamble. I would take your time about it. Since you have a partner, perhaps not as dangerous as my move has been. But, i deeply regret moving during the pandemic. Rent and home buying have just gotten insane here lately so keep that in mind. It can be hard to even find nice places to rent. It's kinda a really bad time to move to the US. I mean, if you are being threatened or in danger in France, than yes, a move here could be good but I don't know if you don't have people here waiting for you. Just my opinion
 

Davsey27

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I'm curious if anyone can suggest any good locations in the southern part of the US where one can live off 700/month of disability and fit in as a person of color?

Currently in southern California and struggling a bit with the air quality

Thank You
 

lenora

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Davsey.....Texas isn't particularly known for it's great social benefits, so I wouldnt' suggest here, as least not now. I don't know about other southern states, so sorry. Yours, Lenora.
 

Davsey27

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Appreciate it Lenora,

If anybody may have info on the other southern states like Georgia,Alabama,South Carolina,Lousiana,Florida

Much appreciated