There is a technique for presenting yourself to doctors, isn't there? And you don't work it out for ages. At first you sincerely believe that your doctor will want to hear what you have to say. Its only later you realise they're humoring you.
Here's what I've learned:
* Focus on the big things, and keep quiet about the smaller symptoms.
* Avoid describing symptoms in ways that allow them to be easily dismissed as psychological. Early on I mentioned to the doctor my high resting pulse rate and heart palpitations. I only realised later how I was gifting my doctor an opportunity to label me as anxious. Ditto for fatigue - easy to attribute to depression - better to be more specific about what the sensation is and when it occurs.
* 'Objectify' your symptoms as much as possible. What makes them worse, under what circumstances do they lift, and what does that feel like? (For example, if I'm in a crash, my symptoms peak at around 6-8pm and I get a window of relief around 9-30-11pm). Vague descriptions of symptoms that overwhelm you and are almost constantly present are another gift to psychologisers.
* If you feel at your worst in the morning, keep quiet about it. Some doctors treat this as evidence of depression.
* Never 'bite' when they ask you how upset you are about your health, and never EVER bite when they ask you about other problems in your life. You're managing as best you can given your health limitations, you have gained courage, you have learned many lessons. But you're eager to get back fully to your great life!
* Frame every complaint as a barrier to you doing the things you really want to in life. You should also include a specific request of what you want to happen. e.g. if I could manage symptom x, that would allow me to do more of Y, and I desperately want to do that. Or: if there is even a 1 in 100 chance of this test finding something wrong with me that is treatable, that's worth it to me, because I desperately want to do x,y,z.
* Never exhibit your distress. Use other ways of conveying the seriousness of the matter. e.g., I'm not scared of (some bad diagnosis). My life is so severely limited now, I honestly can't imagine many scenarios that are worse than this.
* Say often: "Do you understand my position here?" "Can you appreciate why I might want that?" "Do you see my reasoning here?" "If you were in my position, I suspect you'd ask the same thing". These comments force the doctor to take your perspective. They challenge his/her view of you as somehow 'other'.
* Oh, and assume the doctor is humouring you unless you hear clear statements to the contrary. Many doctors are very good at that.
None of this stuff will work if your doctor is fully determined to believe your problem is psychological. But its gotta be worth trying, eh?