Hello, summary update, vent, reach out

[tabbyj29_11]

Hi. I haven't been on here for awhile...been trying to manage things myself and thought I had it under control, able to juggle the side effects of doing too much and the resulting pem recovery.

Yet with continued stress I have been living day to day in such states more so dragging myself through the days.

Lots of pain...dentist checkup no cavities, gums healthier than dentists(still get some sort of referred pain that I trying to locate what why etc)

Optometrist results 20/20 + vision...migraines, eye pain, headaches not due to vision.

Nutrient levels from gp blood test okay. Even iron is fine...had iron infusion earlier this year, no iron tablets needed now.

At times I collapse and into flu like symptoms when really pushed to limits further. Ambulance called at one point and taken to hospital (cleared of covid then by observation of vitals returning to more normal, although was crying alot depressed with how lonely and isolated feel and all the people I have lost from my life).

I am on the ndis and dsp(have ot, speech, psychology, support worker....)
I am a carer for my asd toddler (also on ndis).

I guess here I am looking for support and any advice.
I also deal with ptsd, have ongoing stress here and heart break still going on(time heals? Idk about that...just learn to manage it better still have days I grieve alot)
I feel misunderstood. I still can do alot for myself and have high intelligence that most in society don't understand the daily struggles.

I also feel bad at times for mentioning my issues as others have worse.
I just feel like bottling it in, or telling people who judge me makes it worse.

I practice spiritual, religious, natural practices and mainstream at times.
It helps writing this out.

Wishing everyone the best.
Shalom

 

[Judee]

I think we feel disappointments more deeply because it takes so much to try to accomplish something that when it doesn't work out we know we'll have to start all over again but then we spent so much rare energy on the task to begin with that there isn't energy to start again.

 

[tabbyj29_11]

I think we feel disappointments more deeply because it takes so much to try to accomplish something that when it doesn't work out we know we'll have to start all over again but then we spent so much rare energy on the task to begin with that there isn't energy to start again.

I agree with that statement. Counting tasks in terms of energy instead of length and other ways people usually do is how I go about things, and if it fails or is a waste of time I get even more disappointed thinking could of used it other ways. Been trying to soothe myself a bit at times, with reflection on well at least I practiced this or learnt that etc from it.
Still frustrating when alot of surrending control and outcome (and ability often to re do things) is what I am left with.
Cautious in more ways nowdays, with still alot to learn.
Positive is more self awareness knowing limits, going within more. Although that also means facing other sensitive levels of self which on a level of energy is required and I really don't want to face that at times(the pain and further exhaustion).

Yet, if I don't make time for it(somehow), it builds up and wears down from within.
A battle to balance the need for energy conservation (numbing, pacing, distractions...) and actually getting through those repairs needed that are draining being kept unattended (yet also draining dealing with).

Psychologist thinks I am doing alright with more self awareness and understands the trauma response processing stages(ups and downs through it), and how I have issues with feeling even good things for too long(protective mechanism as so scared of being hurt, things or people going away that I cherish/ed). Yet, having more moments allowing good to enter, enjoy some things and work up amounts of that, while also facing the painful vulnerability it brings to feel deeper.

I even have to remember to process what I am eating/drinking as I tune out alot from my pain in body and heart alot by thinking, focusing elsewhere. (I have been asked did you enjoy that, how did that taste? And I have to stop and think what that sensation meant as I didn't process it(even burning ginger turmeric kombucha drinks that uncomfy with, but don't register quick enough that I feel burning sensation from that source, even though I know it's happening, weird trying to explain it).

My physical and emotional pain and detecting sensors don't work as quickly, its clogged up. It's a sensory awareness issue, trauma and inflammation also factors too.

When I stop and think deep within like this writing time I get more clarity. Often using head only to think leads to more confusion, fogginess very quickly.

Long reply...I miss having heart to hearts with people. Introvert and actually missing human connection. Enjoy more home time (been swab tested again for covid so home bound for at least days until results cleared). Sore throat, cough, temp regulation issues, fatigue, aches...all cfs but flare up worse so testing just to be sure and also reduce others fears being around them in public etc.,


Positive thing about all this is the more phone, zoom type appts for alot of things, greater awareness what it's like to be isolated from people more when have disabilities, that it's not everyone's choice to not be out working/studying etc., that things like illness actually do hinder alot. And that there is ways to be more inclusive...hopefully such options can continue for people like us who need more paced lifestyle and can't easily travel out and about appt after appt even after lock down finishes/eases.

 

[Judee]

I get sensory overload a lot so sometimes everything coming at me all at once gets too much to bear. For survival mode, I have to focus on one thing for a while in order to block out all the others and gain some equilibrium again.

 

[tabbyj29_11]

Totally understand and can relate to that.

 

[Learner1]

Glad you're participating again - lots of support here.

This may seem out of left field, but I've found that nutrient deficiencies or imbalanced are quite capable of causing many psychological symptoms. Someone close to me had a very serious mental illness which resolved after food allergies and nutrient deficiencies were identified and addressed. As I've gone through treatment for stage 3 cancer and ME/CFS, I've found that anytime I felt anxious, uirriitable, edgy, depressed it like bawling my eyes out, reporting my symptoms to my functional medicine doctor, who would tweak my nutritionsl supplement list, would make me feel normal again pretty fast.

It's always great to talk to people about problems, but sometimes a little biochemical (not pharmaceutical) help is useful. I certainly don't mean to minimize what you're going through, but having a stronger foundation can help one be better able yo cope with the challenges life throws at us.

 

[tabbyj29_11]

Glad you're participating again - lots of support here.

This may seem out of left field, but I've found that nutrient deficiencies or imbalanced are quite capable of causing many psychological symptoms. Someone close to me had a very serious mental illness which resolved after food allergies and nutrient deficiencies were identified and addressed. As I've gone through treatment for stage 3 cancer and ME/CFS, I've found that anytime I felt anxious, uirriitable, edgy, depressed it like bawling my eyes out, reporting my symptoms to my functional medicine doctor, who would tweak my nutritionsl supplement list, would make me feel normal again pretty fast.

It's always great to talk to people about problems, but sometimes a little biochemical (not pharmaceutical) help is useful. I certainly don't mean to minimize what you're going through, but having a stronger foundation can help one be better able yo cope with the challenges life throws at us.

Thankyou for your advice. Yes nutrients levels important. Although test results are okay re full blood count, thyroid, diabetes etc.
I still don't think they factor in optimal nutrient levels. And a functional medicine Dr would be good to consult.
I struggle with eating at times (motivation, effort used to do that prep clean up etc as so high alert detailed focused it just gets even more exhausting at times. Thus alot of quick simple foods eat out of packet or heat up very simply minimum dishes etc.,)
Which contributes to the probably higher acidic intake.

Glad you have found some helpful things for your needs.

 

[Learner1]

Although test results are okay re full blood count, thyroid, diabetes etc.
I still don't think they factor in optimal nutrient levels.

They don't. You might look into a test like this:

https://www.gdx.net/product/nutreval-fmv-nutritional-test-blood-urine

This book explains many if the nutrients on the test but and how they relate to mental health:

New Optimum Nutrition for the Mind https://www.amazon.com/dp/1591202590/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_xmuVEb4P1RXCF

Which contributes to the probably higher acidic intake.

it's nit just bring acid/alkaline. Eating nutrent poor foods instead of nutrient dense foods makes it difficult for the many processes in the body and brain to do their jobs. And the various aspects of ME/CFS deplete the body of various nutrients - proper zinc/copper balance and omega-3/omega-6 balance are important for mental health. Amino acids B6, and other nutrients are needed to make neurotransmitters...

Glad you have found some helpful things for your needs.

Thanks. I think a lot of others can be better through appropriate testing and treatment. It's not just the nutrition, but it's an important component.

Best wishes

 

[tabbyj29_11]

Thankyou will save that info, links and get to reading into bit by bit.
Does resonate what you are saying.

Thankyou