I had a good example of this last night. I had this really good news about a regular freelance writing gig. Had contracts to sign and mail and I start in their employ on Monday, first article due on Tuesday. Very exciting.
Not too scarey (in the normal sense) because I've been writing for free for EmpowHer.com (a women's health site) for 3 months and I've always gotten good responses and encouragement there. Then they asked me if I would be interested in getting paid to write for them.
So I get the contracts, should be happy (AM happy) and proceed to have a huge panic attack, complete with numb face and vibrating everything else, messed up gut, curled up in a ball on my bed trying to breathe my way to homeostasis. Didn't work. I felt so sick.
Took till this afternoon to feel alright. And it's still a little touch and go.
And yet, I'm happy about it and it's all good news, right?
That's probably what prompted me to write the article tonight.
Another great blog.... I agree completely. It fits in with my model of hyper arousal in this illness. My system is already hyper aroused = it doesn't need any more excitement- even 'good' excitement. It needs to mellow out and heal. I always feel more grounded after reading Jody's stuff
On Saturday, Al and Jesse and I went to our son Duncan and his wife Carmel's new apartment. They used to live 20 min. away in a town a good size bigger than ours, but still a town.
They just moved to a city that is an hour drive away, with a lot of city driving and busy visually and aurally. I had to keep my eyes closed on half the trip up there and knew I could never make this drive. Thank God for Al cos he can drive anywhere.
By the time we got there I was a bit loopy. Disoriented and words coming out ... funny. Just a bit. The guys said they weren't hearing it which was good but I could feel it.
We spent the evening in their apartment, had dinner, a nice time. And by the time we left, I had to take Al's arm as we were walking. I felt really drunk. And I'd had no alcohol. Did have 2 cans of Pepsi though, so that's where THAT came from.
I was wrecked by the time we got home. Took me the next 24 hrs to recover. Hadn't had a woozy session like that in some time. Had been feeling so cocky about being better. But it's got a lot to do with having stayed within my familiar envelope. Put me in an unfamiliar environment and it can be a different story.
Doesn't happen so much when I take on new stuff online thank goodness. But then, I'm still in my familiar environment, aren't I, either in my bedroom or my livingroom...