@Rand56 -I don't think it's that I care about what people think about me. I think what bothers me is that I have to explain myself to people that I've already explained myself to. And...I will soon vaccilate!
And why do I have to explain myself, because they have forgotten that I don't get up early or because they assume that because they do that I should as well and I'm just tired of having to repeat it over and over.
Or who knows, maybe it is that I do care. Vaccilating! Maybe I just want to be understood and not to have to have it be asked of me all the time. Or for people to expect me to fit into a circle when I'm a square.
I think I do care and I don't care all in one. I know this, I've let people go for this reason. If I keep having to explain myself over and over again I just completely disengage. And when they reach out to me, I blow them off. Done.
Also, I have to add that I want people in my life. There are no Ill friends around me, in other words in my geographical situation. These friends I've had forever and I consider them good friends, they just don't get the sleeping aspect. And I'm not going to let them go that easily.
The one friend that I mentioned who wants to help me with jewelry, she has been there for me with my recent wrist surgery that I had. Sent me gifts has come over, took me out for a brunch one day because I wasn't getting out at all. I have to care about her because she is someone who is worthy of me caring for. So, she's not so easy to dismiss or let go of.