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My ME and myself have a problem with food.
I can only eat on a benzo. Otherwise eating small amounts and sometimes even drinking, such as five blueberries and five almonds, will lead to hours of unbearable lead in the body mostly followed by extreme "panic" attacks and a lowering of my mental stamina to the point of suicidality. It's like a neurological elephant on my chest, strangling me, and it usually starts about an hour after eating.
This becomes more and more severe the lower my baseline.
This is all mechanical. (I love food and eating. And I love life). Sometimes it will ease over the course of weeks and months, I will be able to eat without the benzo and have more energy, then it will hit me hard again and I am back to not being able to eat at all.
I have severe pancreas insufficiency as well, but this is all mechanical and neurological.
The way I survive is by splitting food, non solid foods, spread so that I only eat when my heart is also not too high.
Also my mental health is great when fasting.
I eat most of my food after a benzo in the evening.
I've tried antihistamines and mast cell stabilisers to no avail, even though I still take them.
For some in a crash other digestive organs seem to stop working. Maybe it's my pancreas and the nerves related to it.
Eating and the psychiatric component this brings is my nemesis.
It's probably the reason that I decline constantly, as it's almost impossible to pace that way.
Does anyone else have a similar issue?
When I was mild it was the same, but just a short 1 hour period of lead and a little grumpiness, from which I would recover quickly.
In the very severe form this becomes an act of survival and psycho terror as well.
I also don't understand why it can recover so well, and then be way below the baseline over night, without any warning or me doing anything differently!
Looking for a tiny bit of control...
Or experience with this, probably from the very severe.
I can only eat on a benzo. Otherwise eating small amounts and sometimes even drinking, such as five blueberries and five almonds, will lead to hours of unbearable lead in the body mostly followed by extreme "panic" attacks and a lowering of my mental stamina to the point of suicidality. It's like a neurological elephant on my chest, strangling me, and it usually starts about an hour after eating.
This becomes more and more severe the lower my baseline.
This is all mechanical. (I love food and eating. And I love life). Sometimes it will ease over the course of weeks and months, I will be able to eat without the benzo and have more energy, then it will hit me hard again and I am back to not being able to eat at all.
I have severe pancreas insufficiency as well, but this is all mechanical and neurological.
The way I survive is by splitting food, non solid foods, spread so that I only eat when my heart is also not too high.
Also my mental health is great when fasting.
I eat most of my food after a benzo in the evening.
I've tried antihistamines and mast cell stabilisers to no avail, even though I still take them.
For some in a crash other digestive organs seem to stop working. Maybe it's my pancreas and the nerves related to it.
Eating and the psychiatric component this brings is my nemesis.
It's probably the reason that I decline constantly, as it's almost impossible to pace that way.
Does anyone else have a similar issue?
When I was mild it was the same, but just a short 1 hour period of lead and a little grumpiness, from which I would recover quickly.
In the very severe form this becomes an act of survival and psycho terror as well.
I also don't understand why it can recover so well, and then be way below the baseline over night, without any warning or me doing anything differently!
Looking for a tiny bit of control...
Or experience with this, probably from the very severe.
