ELEPHANTINE LEVELS OF DENIAL, & DISABILITY- THE CHRONIC ELEPHANT

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@hellytheelephant
I’m responding here rather than leaving the comment on your excellent blog (and thank you for posting a link to that) because Google was just going on and on, whining about wanting this and demanding that and needing whatever, and I finally lost patience with the pushy little bastard, and came back where I feel safely tucked away from the great, grasping tentacles of The Cyber.


HELLY: During the last 4 years I have come to know that I AM Disabled...
and maybe...just MAYBE... I can live with that. …

This little pile of rat droppings of an illness doesn’t give us much choice.

My husband, DB, used to say that it’s the little lie, not the dog, that’s man’s best friend.

He stopped saying that when he noticed me giving him a lot of side-eye, like, what little suddenly revealed load of pathetic fairy tales am I going to have to deal with down the road, eh?

If we extend that just the tiniest bit and tilt it slightly to the left, then denial can be said to be cut from the same cloth. Sometimes it’s a good thing, sometimes it’s a soft place to land while we’re catching up with what people like to call reality, sometimes it leads to grandiose, expansive self delusion. In any of those events, it’s a good servant and a really shitty master.

Believe me, I've tested it out. Repeatedly. I suspect that I still am, but denial being denial, I have no idea.


HELLY: Vulnerable and immobilized I would ask the same question:
"How did I allow this to happen?!"

Omigod, I have the same inner dialogue. Like somehow, if I'd just tried hard enough, or a little harder, or a lot harder, or, on my really crappy days, at all, I wouldn’t have drifted this far askew from any concept I had of what my life was going to be or should be, or should have been, or might be somewhere down the road.

Ha. As if :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:.

It is what it is, we are what we are, and whatever crappy little shore this evil little spitfire Fury of an illness has dumped us on is where we are. For now.

Cause, you know, things change.

I hope they change for you, Helly.

Well, for all of us, but right now, specifically for you. Cause a life bereft of comfy denial is a rock and a hard place, and your lively spirit deserves better ….
 
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ALTERNATIVE THERAPIES: THE GOOD THE BAD, AND THE WOO-WOO
https://thechronicelephant.blogspot.com/2019/09/alternative-therapies-good-bad-and-woo.html

This is the absolutely the best, most acute, astute, and accurate summation of what works, what might work, what could possibly work on another planet, and what absolutely is total crap … it should be must-reading for all of us at least once a week. Or at least every time that we’re tempted to try that Leaf & Crystal Healer that someone well-meaning but ME-dense was going on and on about ….


Helly: I use alarms every hour, so I get through planning a bit at a time.

I totally thought that I was the only one who did that, and I thought it was weird and pointless and another sign of my gradual loss of agency, will, and control over my life, a sort of general surrender of all that in fact, but it somehow keeps me as close to being en pointe as I can get … every time my little alarm gently twitters at me, I hit the one hour thingy again, and so on, thru out the day .... not so much for personal planning, but for stabilizing, I guess ....

And there’s something comforting, even soothing, about the hourly Tolling Of The Bell that helps focus, reassure, admonish, and warn me all at the same time, in the gentlest, most oblique way.

Thank you for making me feel waaaaaay less …. odd :xeyes::xeyes::xeyes: :D.
 
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@YippeeKi YOW !! Thank you for the lovely comments and feedback! Knowing how valuable energy is to us poorly folks I really appreciate it.
My purpose in Blogging is just to share my experiences and hope folk find it helpful. When I was first diagnosed in 1993 I literally knew no one who had ME, and it was a very lonely journey for a long while. We are so blessed to be able to share our experiences and questions on a forum.

The Blog on alternative remedies/woo-woo is my 2nd most popular post. If it stops one person from wasting the amounts of time and money I did, then, job done!
 
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The Blog on alternative remedies/woo-woo is my 2nd most popular post. If it stops one person from wasting the amounts of time and money I did, then, job done!
It's totally brilliant, altho I need to qualify that for the sake of transparency by confessing that it reflects my feelings almost exactly, as well as several of my experiments. I lean towards the more 'natural' and non-prescription efforts wherever possible. Which right now, translates to 'always' ...


So job TOTALLY well done ... I'll be heading back over there to read more, but I'll leave comments here until I'm up to grappling with those gogglers over at Google .... I hope that's OK with you ....

There's a limit usually to credulity and trust, but those guide rails fall away when desperation and hopelessness trot into the picture, which is what those oleaginous weasels count on to rope patients, and their pocketbooks, in ...

I finally even gave up on naturopaths, and that was my last foray into quasi-allopathic medicine. Where that leaves me, who knows, and some days it's really hard t stiffen up, slap on my Big Girl lippie, and just face the fact that it's very possible that whoever I used to be is gone forever, and whatever this is is here to stay.

Onward and Upward :rocket::rocket::rocket:
!!!
 
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The Blog on alternative remedies/woo-woo is my 2nd most popular post. If it stops one person from wasting the amounts of time and money I did, then, job done!
That is a helpful blog, and congratulations on saving some hapless souls. I'll enjoy reading some more...

I do mostly the chinese medicine route, therefore avoiding alot of the issues with the alternative medicine doctors. Mine is very good. And its a system, so it makes sense as a system. Western- is throw down whatever. Its quite scary, actually. As herbs are potent medicine.

I wanted to comment that it can take considerable time for a positive outcome. Which is frustrating. My rash cleared after I was on herbal protocols for eleven months. I kept taking the herbs, because they helped me feel better.

I could have easily given up.
 
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@Rufous McKinney - Thank you I am glad you enjoyed the Blog. I am really glad that Chinese medicine is so helpful for you. I have tried it myself for eczema, with mixed results...and don't get me started on the taste of the tea I had to drink!

I only ever write from my own experience, and I know many people who have benefited from alternative therapies.
 
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It's totally brilliant, altho I need to qualify that for the sake of transparency by confessing that it reflects my feelings almost exactly, as well as several of my experiments. I lean towards the more 'natural' and non-prescription efforts wherever possible. Which right now, translates to 'always' ...

So job TOTALLY well done ... I'll be heading back over there to read more, but I'll leave comments here until I'm up to grappling with those gogglers over at Google .... I hope that's OK with you ....

There's a limit usually to credulity and trust, but those guide rails fall away when desperation and hopelessness trot into the picture, which is what those oleaginous weasels count on to rope patients, and their pocketbooks, in ...

I finally even gave up on naturopaths, and that was my last foray into quasi-allopathic medicine. Where that leaves me, who knows, and some days it's really hard t stiffen up, slap on my Big Girl lippie, and just face the fact that it's very possible that whoever I used to be is gone forever, and whatever this is is here to stay.

Onward and Upward :rocket::rocket::rocket:!!!
I will also be rocking a bright Lillie first-hand onward we go, setting our alarms each hour, and trying not to lose our minds!