As we all know, we spend a lot of time in our houses feeling bad. The times that we do go out some of us suffer from (now I'm not going to be able to remember the word -- oh yea!!) sensation overload. I do. People rubbing up against me is the worst. It's like their energy, their *aura* -- however mystic you want to be or get -- but their energy crashes into mine and overwhelms me. The grocery store is the worst! The loudspeakers playing music, then asking for prices and announcing stuff all the time, the kids crying, the parents (what's the word) disciplining their children.....you know the routine. The lights are too bright. I have to walk too much. By the time it's all over I'm a shaking mess and having dizzy spells and cold sweats. I don't know if it is low sugar or if it's just too much stimulation. Either way, I'm drained when I leave. Then, I get to wait while the car is loaded with the groceries and then I get to ride home -- it's about a 30 minute ride. I don't drive anymore because the muscles & nerves in my eyes have now lost too much of their "tone" for me to focus when they are tired....ie, too much sun, too many reflective signs on the road...basically, any time.
So...By the time I get home and my mother gets the groceries put up, I'm wasted...no more. I go into my room and it's dark and quiet and pure bliss.
This trip only happens about once a month.....people have to practically prod me to get me out of the house. Now I'm wondering....is it agoraphobia ( I don't think so )? Or is it just because I know that the stimuli coming will be so much that it will make me physically ill?
I enjoy being outside when I'm not sick. I'll sit on the front porch (if it isn't 100 degrees outside). It's not actually walking out of my house that's the problem. It's the being around a bunch of people bumping into me, too much noise....you get the picture...
Do you fear becoming agoraphobic?
So...By the time I get home and my mother gets the groceries put up, I'm wasted...no more. I go into my room and it's dark and quiet and pure bliss.
This trip only happens about once a month.....people have to practically prod me to get me out of the house. Now I'm wondering....is it agoraphobia ( I don't think so )? Or is it just because I know that the stimuli coming will be so much that it will make me physically ill?
I enjoy being outside when I'm not sick. I'll sit on the front porch (if it isn't 100 degrees outside). It's not actually walking out of my house that's the problem. It's the being around a bunch of people bumping into me, too much noise....you get the picture...
Do you fear becoming agoraphobic?