DISABILITY & THE SHAME TANGO- The Chronic Elephant Blog.

[hellytheelephant]

Hi folks,
In this 3rd of my Blogs on the subject of Disability, I tackle the Shame that so many Disabled people experience
(and functional incontinence gets a mention too!)
https://thechronicelephant.blogspot.com/2022/05/disability-shame-tango.html

 

[Rufous McKinney]

Yet another insightful piece. I could really relate to this issue.

My poor mom developed incontinence and the facility where she was housed, would not allow her to remain independent and live with her husband. Instead, she was isolated and put into diapers. Imagine how this feels as an adult woman? The emotional toll.

With ME, I've developed pretty intense interstitial cystitis and related type issues, so for me its frequent bladder, and at times, the most inconvenient times, its extremely painful and exacerbated by stress.

So your already stressed at a medical procedure, or out someplace, because your coping with chronic illness only now its on top of that, intense bladder siezures.

Embarrassing too, because often bathrooms aren't convenient, or its not convenient during the dental procedure to be unable to sit for 15 minutes. So your discussing your bladder, its needs, having to find places to stop, stuck in a car with coworkers who never seem to need bathrooms...it caused me considerable stress, working and trying to function out in the world of no bathroom for customers.

 

[snooze]

Very powerful post, @hellytheelephant. So many toxic aspects of culture valuing independence and productivity over inherent dignity. It's too bad that it makes a hard situation even harder. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us through your blog.

 

[hellytheelephant]

Yet another insightful piece. I could really relate to this issue.

My poor mom developed incontinence and the facility where she was housed, would not allow her to remain independent and live with her husband. Instead, she was isolated and put into diapers. Imagine how this feels as an adult woman? The emotional toll.

With ME, I've developed pretty intense interstitial cystitis and related type issues, so for me its frequent bladder, and at times, the most inconvenient times, its extremely painful and exacerbated by stress.

So your already stressed at a medical procedure, or out someplace, because your coping with chronic illness only now its on top of that, intense bladder siezures.

Embarrassing too, because often bathrooms aren't convenient, or its not convenient during the dental procedure to be unable to sit for 15 minutes. So your discussing your bladder, its needs, having to find places to stop, stuck in a car with coworkers who never seem to need bathrooms...it caused me considerable stress, working and trying to function out in the world of no bathroom for customers.

Hi- so sorry to hear about your mom-nothing prepares you for that loss of autonomy.
That sounds like a lot for you to cope with in the workplace...and very uncomfortable to have to discuss with co-workers. As you say, there is also the stress of going to appointments, and not knowing the layout and proximity of bathrooms.
i have only ever had the common variety cystitis, and that was bad enough...
thank you so much for sharing your experiences.

 

[Booble]

I work in the Human Resources world (technology vendor) and the new Work-From-Home and/or hybrid models of work are really a wonderful advantage. I think the reality is that most everyone in the world has some kind of disability or another -- physical or mental or both -- at some stages of their life. It's so much more comfortable to be in a safe space when you work.

 

[Rufous McKinney]

the new Work-From-Home and/or hybrid models

I had a home office for over 30 years. Its likely that I would never have gotten through to retirement had I been forced to work in a physical office setting.

In the before times, women were less likely to work full time. Now, its very hard to transfer or move and your dealing with two career households, often. Just to buy or sell a home is now an immensely complex challenge.

So letting people work from their home offices makes life easier for alot of folks. You have access to a large applicant pool. But people need to be self-directed, for that to work well. Personal discipline, all that.