All I want for Christmas is a................computer that Bl--dy well works!
(& I shall say a sincere apology to my generous neighbour Sue, who kindly let me swear on her laptop just now & is even more generously offering me a Gin & Tonic as I type).
, you all know that I don't drink, so hold the Gin, Sue, & give me the bottle of Tonic with a long straw.
PS. Sueeeeeeee, I said HOLD THE GIN !
(At least she's given me a piece of lemon to soak up the Gin)
PPS And I almost forgot, Pleeeeeese Santa, can I have a new body for Christmas. Preferably one that works, also. No good fixing my computer & giving me the old body back on Christmas morning. I want my 36-24-36 figure back, all my organs in perfect running order, & please, please Santa, can you please iron out all the wrinkles. If you can't iron out ALL the wrinkles, can you please iron out the wrinkles on my face, so there are not waterfalls of perspiration running down the vertical groves on my face. I think I can manage to hide the wrinkles on the rest of my birthday