Advice for housing.

bensmith

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So after yesterdays spat i am pretty sound sensitive. Becoming light sensitive too from the sound pushing constant traffic. Cant do ear muffs. Plugs and pillows atm.

i might be able to get my parents to put me in a rent house. I would have to feed myself, i think boil chicken breast 3x day and drink 1 kates farm per meal.

i shouldnt do this but maybe itll help me gett better? My house is pretty bad.

should i stay here and hope my ears calm down even thiufh they are getting pushed all the time with traffic outside, or take a big risk in moving and trying to keep myself afloat in a house by myself?

Prob going ti try and move out my famiyessed up. But i am really too ill to take care of myself.

Really wish i ddint crash my ears i was always so thanjful for that, its so noisy here.

I cant help but feel both choices arw wrojg in sole way : /. This disease is truly awful my god.

Like what if it ends up being a net negative, or the neibor has a air con i cant tolerate? Im trying to survive guys but i feel im losing the fight pretty bad right now. Yesterday i at least wasnt scared for my life for the first time in weeks, wnd then my sister crashes my ears.

I would just drink the kates farm buts its too sugaryX. And it’s better than the rest of the drinks.

I wisj i could give myself some time and see how it plays out, but without accomidations its porb not safe i guess. Not to mention traffic is going to keep me ill and maybe make we worse going forward. Like this seems extreme but literally ever day or two there is some issue i need help with, and my family always gets mad and almost never does it. Even if they do its like pulling teeth so it hurts me anyway.

I dont want to be negative but i dont feel i can make it atm, i just cant see survivjg as severe a lone : /

Sorry fir word vomit thanks for any thoughts.
 
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But i am really too ill to take care of myself.
Have you tried to get disability? Is there any route to get that to happen so you could get some help?

Its really tough when these background noise issues can destroy our health.

Droning noise really hurts us. So all it might take is one neighbor with an air conditioner running thru the nite and you might go postal.

I had 10 hours of weed whackers going outside on Sunday. See: I didn't add that insult to the reasons I likely crashed monday morning. What an oversite on my part!

Dogs barking on and on. I normally I am not too bothered by simple noises- kids outside playing at least they are happy. But some of the on and on sounds really get to you- this Crow has been going on for an hour every morning.

There might be programs to help you locally- maybe Meals on Wheels?
 

bensmith

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@Rufous McKinney - i am in the process of disability but it takes years isually, in my experience. Honestly not that i can tell. I have called a lot and nobody seems to have any help they can give. Maybe its because i live in onlajoma i dont knowZ. Basucally go to nursing home was all i could gather.

Am i missing some help maybe?

My doctor said i might get home health but thats just to make sure you arent dying not like feed you or takenout trash etc.

Sorry mate. 10 hours my god.

Yes i know, its a new issue for me and the traffic here is terrible. Ill record it sometime. But like you said no way i can no if the new situation will be any better. It would be such a huge gamble and i just feel it prob wouldnt work? The lot left of the house is empty which is good. The devil you know i guess ; (

My mcas is really picky so meals on wheels has vet low chance of success but ill give it a try.
 

lenora

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Yes, that's a good point about Meals on Wheels. What type of house will they rent for you? How about earplugs for the traffic noise. You may have to try different foam sizes, but you'll find something sooner or later. I didn't even realize they were color coded according to size...but they are.

It does take a short time to adjust to them, but they're great at blocking out all sound. I never travel (not that we really go anywhere any longer) without them and putting them early in the evening helps me settle down for sleep when I'm ready. Silence is nice, and it's a good, cheap way to get it.

Yes, SSDI is also a good idea and while the amount isn't huge, if your parents pay the rent, you should be able to squeak by. Still, Ben, it's up to you to very seriously think about this matter and decide what you'd like to do. A lease isn't easy to break, so tuck that in with your thoughts also. Nice of your parents to offer to pay the rent, isn't it? I hope it's near their home. Best wishes. Lenora.
 

bensmith

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@lenora yes it is nice of them. Am one bedroom in town.

I wear plugs but its not enough, the traffic noise here is very substantial. Its a threw way for construction trucks who constantly jbreak, as well as a lot of drag racing and motercycles. We are i dunno 20 yards, 30 from the road. Literally everytime any traffic goes by now its oushing me a bit, even witb plugs and a pillow. I can easilu hear it through gun ear muffs but like i said i cant use those.

I feel where you are coming from i have the same thoughts and hesitations. Thanks.

Yes i will try start getting meals on wheels and see if it helps. Thanks.
 
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Am i missing some help maybe?
Is it possible to get help from a Social Worker to set up a care package for you @bensmith so you can live on your own but get helpers coming in a couple of times a day? In the UK people who are not able to look after themselves can get financial help to pay for care assistants to visit them and help out. I know there are similar things available in the USA. Maybe @Howard can give us some info about it. Getting away from the stress of family life and noise sounds like a good idea and you might find your health improves.
 

Howard

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All Ears

Out of necessity, I wore my industrial strength ear muffs night and day for nearly two years.. while also wearing sunglasses ..and/or wore a sleep mask. It did take a while to adjust to sleeping with the earmuffs on, but they made my life far less painful at the time.

Eliminating anxiety through meditation and mindfulness was also a great help. The idea of letting the (debilitating) sound and light pass through me, without me engaging either, was a big help.

In regards to getting home health or home help assistance

I do not (as of yet) have an official diagnosis, so I was never able to get approved for disability. In order to get any assistance whatsoever, my wife and I had to get divorced. Through the State of Arizona, I am now getting some help through long term disability assistance (ALTCS). Now I actually receive feeding formula (plus it's paid for), and I also get a caregiver visit for ten hours each week (@ 2 hours per day). I am also insured, so I can see a doctor if need be.

So, to qualify, I believe you need to be on your own (I'm not familiar with your exact living status). Also, you would need to be evaluated in-home.

Beyond that, I don't understand much of anything that goes on, in regards to disability and receiving assistance. My local hospital made some calls and got the ball rolling for me.. in particular, the nursing staff.

Oh, I did spend several months of the Care Facility back in 2015, but I wouldn't recommend that option unless you can confirm their positive standing within the industry. In my case, I failed to do that.

H
 

bensmith

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@Howard you are so strong. I cant seem to do meditation anymore, and i have an extensive history. And the ear muffs make me worse for whatever reason.

Thank you for reaching out. It means a lot. I will keep these thoughts in mind as i try and move forward.
 

bensmith

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So my parents were lying and had no intention of helping me with housing lol. I fucking hate my family. Sister turned on fan again. And my mom was like well she said she would be done in a min. Thats ok. I fucking hate tuem so much.

had some wish list stuff. I was like can you take these couple items out my room mom please, when you can? Sure.

the hall leading into my room lol.


just say no..,
 
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lenora

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@Ben....it sounds as if everyone (including you) are suffering in your family.

Have you tried family counseling on a sliding scale fee even? It may take mos. to get in, but at least you're on a waiting list and that's helpful. You may/may not always be able to go...but you have to decide.

Make a list of your needs and stick to it. At least your family will know exactly what's required and it's something they can take to the therapist if necessary. Take your time...there's no hurry. Yours, Lenora
 

Strawberry

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I had a thought, but then saw your parents took back that they would pay for housing. But I’ll say it anyway in case it is a possibility.

What about renting an rv for a month and parking it somewhere in the country or mountains? Maybe Oklahoma doesn’t have mountains, I don’t know. Unfortunately rv parks are probably filling up with summer vacationers, but maybe you could find something quiet. You would need hookups for fridge/freezer (frozen foods) and a microwave (plus water and toilet) but if you could find somewhere quiet at least for a trial period. You would be on your own with care, but smaller space than a house. And easier to control your location.

I couldn’t imagine living with family I didn’t enjoy being around.
 

lenora

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I had a thought, but then saw your parents took back that they would pay for housing. But I’ll say it anyway in case it is a possibility.

What about renting an rv for a month and parking it somewhere in the country or mountains? Maybe Oklahoma doesn’t have mountains, I don’t know. Unfortunately rv parks are probably filling up with summer vacationers, but maybe you could find something quiet. You would need hookups for fridge/freezer (frozen foods) and a microwave (plus water and toilet) but if you could find somewhere quiet at least for a trial period. You would be on your own with care, but smaller space than a house. And easier to control your location.

I couldn’t imagine living with family I didn’t enjoy being around.

Very good idea, Strawberry. And yes, Ben could find a mountainous area in OK. Yours, Lenora.
 

bensmith

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@lenora thanks, they go to family therapy but its not helijng much. That therpaist and my own before u stopped seeing her wanted me out in a psych ward. Not super into the idea with the limited energy i have. I dont trust them anymore. I try above and bwyond what they put in and it never matters they just suck.

@Strawberry hm maybe i can find somethijg like that, nit sure. Maybe threre is a program or something. Thanks.