When the 'Holiday Season' Is No Holiday at all for Those With ME/CFS
Is December getting to you? Jody Smith shares some thoughts on some of the struggles that all too often attend this time of year ...
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When people ask you to dinner

Discussion in 'Lifestyle Management' started by rockymountainmama, Jul 4, 2017.

  1. rockymountainmama

    rockymountainmama

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    New Mexico
  2. Timaca

    Timaca Senior Member

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    Along the lines of dinner, I've discovered that I have multiple food intolerance issues, so when I go out with people or to their homes I just bring my food with me. That way I have what is safe to eat. And they understand if I can't make it due to feeling poorly....but honestly (knock on wood and thanks be to God) those days are much less than they used to be....
     
  3. lafarfelue

    lafarfelue Senior Member

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    I've started defaulting to the same response too.

    No. No, sorry. No, I'm too sick. No, I'm too unreliable. No, I'd love to, but... no.

    But honestly, once I decided that my default is making no plans/ turning down invitations... It's just so much easier and less stressful to continue with daily life, rather than be burdened with the anxiety, sadness, grief, anger etc (and so on and so forth ad infinitum) that comes along with trying to be open to Doing Things (and then failing). And of course, that default position doesn't mean it's 100% exclusive of activities... just that that is my standard response to Doing Things. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


    That's a good little piece in the NY Times. Thanks for sharing. :)
     
  4. DoggerFisher

    DoggerFisher Senior Member

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    it is so much EASIER not to. last time I got better was by becoming a hermit, but it's definitely not my natural inclination, i'm usually the host and the bringer together and it's one of the toughest things to give up and really hard to manage the fallout - this relapse have lost yet another friend who just had a paddy as I hurt her feelings by "not wanting to see her anymore". I don't have enough energy to fix the situation. This is a massive friendship sieve and only the biggest chunkiest people stay in it - usually those who have some similar experience of being "useless to the world" I find
     
  5. Alvin2

    Alvin2 If humans were rational...

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    I sometimes force myself to go, a full, tasty meal is a luxury :redface:
    I pay for it mind you, but its not like i could afford such a meal in preparation energy or cash.

    I have almost no friends so its not a matter of not wanting to talk about ME, so those who invite me know how unreliable and burned i am.
     
  6. DoggerFisher

    DoggerFisher Senior Member

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    You have loads of friends @Alvin2 , you just haven't met any of them :) we're your (imaginary) virtual friends
     
  7. Alvin2

    Alvin2 If humans were rational...

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    Very true, however i have never had dinner with a PR friend nor have i had any over for dinner (though anyone who is interested in an ME/CFS friendly meal is welcome to visit) :hug:
     
  8. DoggerFisher

    DoggerFisher Senior Member

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    Yes come over @Alvin2 you can have a salami stick with butter on it... they're easy to get out of the fridge!
     
  9. Jessie 107

    Jessie 107 Senior Member

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    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, this really made me laugh!
     
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  10. Alvin2

    Alvin2 If humans were rational...

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    LOL!
    I have some canned food :)
     
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  11. DoggerFisher

    DoggerFisher Senior Member

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    Am starting another thread inspired by this morning's conversation called "Would anybody like a postcard?" cos I would like to send them one of my random collection!
     
  12. DoggerFisher

    DoggerFisher Senior Member

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    @Jessie 107 keto diet... it's stopped making me laugh now :/ ;)
     
  13. Hell...Hath...No...Fury..

    Hell...Hath...No...Fury.. Senior Member

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    I LOVE that analogy :rofl: for me the only chunky people I have left in my sieve are the ones who are self absorbed and had their empathy surgically removed during childhood.

    They're quite hideous beings but on the plus side, I don't have to feel guilty for being ill like I would, dealing with a normal person with feelings.

    Every cloud... :whistle:
     

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