Hi @Wayne - thanks so much for your very thoughtful generous post. You’ve raised a subject which I’m sure most of us never talk about, but many of us think about. I tend towards a belief in reincarnation - it strongly appeals to me, much more than the traditional Catholic teachings I was brought up with. I’ve read a lot about and been influenced by Edgar Casey. His life story is fascinating as well as his many readings and they have shaped my reincarnation beliefs. From these I’ve taken the idea that in general suicide is wrong because it’s running away from problems - it’s not a solution - one will find the same problems on the other side and it will actually be harder because of the suicide, so it’s better to stay here and deal with things. However, if someone is dealing with intractable pain or a devastating illness, I just don’t know - how much are we supposed to endure? I wouldn’t presume to judge someone in that situation (or anyone for that matter) if they committed suicide. It’s not my place or job to judge anyone anyways. Casey said we’re here for a reason, to learn lessons, to "smooth out rough edges" as Wayne said (good analogy!) I too wonder sometimes if CFS is some sort of karmic lesson for me. Then I think of all the horrific things people have endured on this earth (the Holocaust and other genocides to name a few) and would never dare to say that these were some sort of karmic lesson. And Casey says sometimes a person is sick to teach others - sort of like Tiny Tim I guess! So what am I saying with all this? I don’t have any answers, just a lot of questions. I do believe that life is not inherently meaningful and that it is up to us to give it meaning by how we live. And some part of me believes that just because I’m alive, there’s a reason for it (though I don’t know what it is). Other parts of me are not so sure! I was thinking the other day that when sometimes I wished it were all over, that it’s not that I really want to die, I just don’t want to be sick any more - there’s a difference. I do want to live very much. BTW, Wayne, I’ve dreamed about cars before too and generally they too seem to represent my body. I remember one from a couple of years ago vividly: It was a beautiful sunny day after a very powerful storm and I was walking around this small town (it was unusual I was walking as I rarely walk in dreams or real life), enjoying the day. It was gorgeous out. And I realized I needed to find my car. I followed the road out of town which turned into a dirt track, and there sat a big mud-covered lump the shape of my car - a VW bug. It was solidly covered with several inches of mud but I was very glad to see it, and managed to scrape away enough mud so that I could get in, and voila! It started right up. It was so great, it hadn’t been hurt by the storm, it was ready to go. When I woke up it seemed to mean that even though I had a lot of toxins and illness to deal with, fundamentally my body was strong and healthy. It was a very encouraging dream. I did have a VW bug many years ago. It was a great little car.