Here are five of the questions:
Factor II: Self-Criticism
(from:
http://www.mentalhealthce.com/courses/contentHD/secHD15.html)
Self-criticism? Aren't most of those reactions fairly normal (and even rational) for people who have gone from active and professionally successful to seriously disabled, unable to work, and dependent on others?
1. There is a considerable difference between how I am now and how I would like to be.
Well, duh!
I would like not to be disabled, unable to work or care for my home. Who wouldn't? I don't sit around making myself miserable about it, but I'd be a fool not to want my life to be different than it is now.
However, if we're just talking about psychological "how I am now", my personality and temperament are, like Mary Poppins', practically perfect in every way.
Well, since my poor hubby has to work full-time, do all the errands and shopping, and a lot of the housework and yardwork.... Sure, I feel guilty about that. Maybe not
often, but I'd be pretty selfish if I didn't consider the impact my illness has on his life. I don't beat myself up over it, but I'm aware of it.
3. The way I feel about myself frequently varies: There are times when I feel extremely good about myself and other times when I see only the bad in me and feel like a total failure.
Okay, not so much with this one. I don't swing to extremes like that. I do sometimes feel useless, because well, sometimes I am. Bedbound with severe cognitive dysfunction doesn't come under the heading of "useful" for most people, I imagine.
4. Often, I feel I have disappointed others.
Alright, maybe not
often, but I'm aware my family has been disappointed because of things that couldn't or didn't happen because of my illness. Holidays are very low-key. Vacations don't happen. I can't help with most chores. Parties are nonexistent.
If I were being very careful with my answer (And how many people are with these kinds of questionnaires?) I would think that no,
I have not disappointed others, but we are all often disappointed by the limitations of my illness.
5. I often find that I don't live up to my own standards or ideals.
Hmmm..... well, it's not my standard (and certainly not my ideal) to live in a dirty, cluttered house, or to have my yardwork only minimally done. It's not my "standard" to go too long between hairdresser or dentist appointments. But that's the way I currently live due to the limitations of my illness. Is it my ideal to be both physically and financially dependent on others? Not at all! But I don't blame myself for not living up to my standards or ideals. I don't control what this illness has done to my life and I don't hold myself accountable for it.
IMO, psych questionnaires are sloppy, and manipulative, and generally fit for the cat box.