TL;DR: I'm facing 24 hours of stress, if I chose to let it get to me. I'll be doing Mindfulness and movie watching full time. I will not think about the issue until it's actually time to think about it. Tomorrow the court decision is read whether there is going to be a big manure plant right next to my cabin in the woods, the peaceful place I've lived for years to try and recover from ME. It's been through the courts for four years now and each year my brain fog lifted a bit and last year I was able to write an engineer rapport that will make or break the case. I'm not sure I did enough though, judicial and political interactions are very far from reasonable conversations. It's at the highest court of the land too, so tomorrow is it. Yeah, there's a lot riding on this for me and I have to wait until 10.15 AM tomorrow. How will I get through the time until then? Here's how: I'm going to try and practise mindfullness every moment today, to try and keep my body out of stress. I'll go "into my body" and will notice how safe I am, right here, right this minute. I'm warm. Well fed. I can feel my feet on the ground or the couch. Feel my but in the cushions. Gravity is keeping me here. Has done so for decades. Breathing goes all automatic, there's nothing I need to control at this moment. There is nothing right this minute that's a threat to me. I am safe. I'll also be diverting my attention and be watching films and videos while knitting something difficult (or easy) I will not reason with my head about how I can't change anything at this stage. Or that I gave it my best. Or any platitude my brain sprouts. We're not thinking about it at all, period. Nor will I make plans or run through scenarios for what to do when the decision is this/that. No scheming. No scenarios. Just wait. There's still 24 hours to be lived through before it's time to make plans. Hours that could be glorious! Or at least a little bit shiny. (I will be a bit snappy with my husband and the cats though. There's only so much I can muster) (I'll do the mindfulness at any time, not just when sitting or lying down. Whilst making tea, brushing teeth, arguing with a cat, walking. It's not meditation, I suck at meditation anyway.) I needed to write my intentions here, to make them more real. I've been feeling my feet on the ground while writing this, feeling safe. Also ate half a bar of chocolate which is not too calming so .... small steps and numerous restarts it is today. It'll be an exercise. An invitation to try this. Not a competition at which I can fail.