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Is it safe to have a baby?

Discussion in 'General ME/CFS Discussion' started by Ronan, Jan 28, 2018.

  1. Ronan

    Ronan Senior Member

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    Hi,

    I have been sick for nearly 17 years now. I had some good improvements over the last few years after some antibiotic treatments (after testing positive for Bartonella and suspected Lyme) but am gradually going downhill again now. I now test negative for Bartonella and Lyme.

    I met my wife about 4 years ago. She began to show similar symptoms to me after about 6 months of our relationship. She has never tested positive for Lyme or Bartonella. We want to have babies but i am terrified of giving this to an innocent baby, not to mention the problems associated with raising a baby with 2 perpetually tired parents! We are not bed ridden and i work full time from home so i think we could manage that side of things. Does anyone know how likely it is to pass our condition to a baby during pregnancy?
     
    lauluce likes this.
  2. ebethc

    ebethc Senior Member

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    @Ronan

    I'm adopted and met my biological mother during college... She and her oldest daughter (after me) both have an overlap w my symptoms of 90-95%... IMO, CFS is definitely genetic.

    I always believed it to be genetic, long before I met my biological mother, and decided not to have kids unless I could find a cure or answer. Also, I knew I would need a lot of help and so I'd need some extra money for great health insurance and help around the house... If you want to bring someone into the world to suffer, that's literally your first choice as a parent.... hmmm...
     
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  3. Butydoc

    Butydoc President

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    Hi Ronan,

    I do believe that some subgroup of ME/CFS are genetically linked. My mother and brother have ME/CFS as do I and two of three of my children.

    My daughter's disease started out with a horrible pregnancy which required two hospitalizations for nausea and vomiting.

    I do believe there is a risk to your children, just not sure how large.

    Butydoc
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2018
  4. dannybex

    dannybex Senior Member

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    Questions to ask yourself:

    Do you have enough energy to take care of yourselves?

    Would your wife have the extra energy required to get through the pregnancy and especially the delivery?

    And finally, would you have the extra energy and patience required to take care of a baby, through all the unpredictable demands of the first few years of life -- getting up many times during the night, feeding it, changing the diapers, playing with it, running around with it, consoling it -- and that's assuming it's healthy?

    Personally I wouldn't consider doing so unless I could answer yes to all three questions.
     
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  5. junkcrap50

    junkcrap50 Senior Member

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    I believe I've read that Bartonella can be passed through sex and in utero.
     
  6. RebeccaRe

    RebeccaRe Moose Enthusiast

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    Sushi likes this.
  7. Ronan

    Ronan Senior Member

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    Thanks for the replies... plenty of food for though. As usual with ME their is not clear cut path forward!
     
  8. RebeccaRe

    RebeccaRe Moose Enthusiast

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    No kidding! Issues of safety to the parent and baby aside, the feeling I got from people who responded with their own experiences about raising children with ME/CFS is: 'it's not an experience I would wish on my worst enemy, but at the same time I wouldn't change it for the world.'
     
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  9. lauluce

    lauluce as long as you manage to stay alive, there's hope

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    argentina
    my son is 2 years old and until now at least, he hasn't showed any symptom... well, actually he seems to be hypersensitive to loud noises, but that can be caused by many other issues besides ME
     
  10. lauluce

    lauluce as long as you manage to stay alive, there's hope

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    argentina
    yep, that's exactly how it is, perfect description. I wouldn't change the smile of my son for all the energy and well being in the world
     
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  11. Carl

    Carl Senior Member

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    It's bacterial so yes you can pass it to others. Antibiotic resistance is affecting humans in ways which is not realised.

    I would recommend that you wait for a year or two before going ahead. By then an effective treatment will be available. However even with that possibility, I would never use any conventional treatment because of the further damage caused to the digestive system. Blasting the digestive system with strong antibiotics attempting to destroy the infection which is currently not affected by any conventional treatments. Ideally a Bacteriophage treatment combined with enzymes and Quorum Sensing Inhibitors which would make access and elimination of the infection by the phages easier and should be far more effective without affecting the already altered microbiome.

    Spending some time attempting to reverse all the effects of CFS would be worth doing before having a baby. Presumably time is not running out due to age therefore rushing into it might not be essential. Your wife/significant other will have autoimmunity and a burdened liver function and eliminating that would provide a better starting point for pregnancy and having a baby.
     
  12. lnester7

    lnester7 Seven

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    My mom has some kind of POTs I would say (and maybe had fibro) but as I child I was sensitive to noise too and I can observe my child too, She is 11 and is showing signs of OI. She has been very healthy so far except some tummy issues, but in the last year, she does feel random things I believe are POTs, Shortness of breath, dizzy, noise sensitivity like when somebody writes with a pencil.... She complains of sleep issues too. TO be honest I have been on denial but her teachers had asked me to look into it.
     
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  13. Dechi

    Dechi Senior Member

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    @Butydoc May I ask what is the cause of your ME and how old you were when you got it ? Just trying to see what sub-group would be more prone to genetically transmitted ted ME.
     
  14. Butydoc

    Butydoc President

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    Hi Dechi,

    I developed ME/CFS at age 51, my son 31, my daughter 33 and my brother 21years old.

    Butydoc
     
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  15. Dechi

    Dechi Senior Member

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    @Butydoc Thanks ! Do you happen to know what caused it ? Enterovirus, chemical exposure, other ?
     
  16. Sushi

    Sushi Moderation Resource Albuquerque

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    Hi Ronan,

    So sorry to hear that you are "gradually going downhill again."
    My Mom had ME/CFS and I'd assume that my illness is related to hers. Aside from those who have responded here, I know of several other members who have several family members with this illness. We have to assume that at least a sub-set have some genetic risks that can be passed on. Several of the doctors treating ME/CFS also have family members who are ill.
     
  17. Murph

    Murph :)

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    Lots of people pass on genetic risk factors to their kids. And you are mild. Plus your wife doesn't have it. I wouldn't necessarily let the small risk of me/cfs put you off if you really want to do it and your wife is into the idea. Even if the kid gets it it is certainly possible to have me/cfs and a life worth living.
     
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  18. aquariusgirl

    aquariusgirl Senior Member

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    I see an autism doctor and we had this discussion, about mothers with these orphan illnesses passing it on to their kids, & she said :"Oh my god. I see that all the time. Mothers come in here (to her autism practice .....one of the biggest in the US) and they don't even realise they're sick.. they have fibromyalgia or a mouth full of amalgams."

    So yeah, she definitely thinks they dump toxins in the fetus.
     
  19. place

    place Be Strong!

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    I had my twins at 39. They bring so much joy to my life, I would do it again if I could.

    We just don’t buy into they hyper crazy parent mode. We plan our time and energy wisely.

    Is it more important to give the kid a bath every single night or teach them something ( I guess we lean toward the French views on bathing;) if your kids wear nothing but sweat pants and tee shirts, do you really need to fight with your kids to get them into “pjs”. I would rather spend that time reading a book and letting them sleep in there clothes.

    My point is, people have made parenting into a psychotic endeavor. It doesn’t have to be.
     

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