I'm addicted to my laptop

[Cheesus]

Before last summer I couldn't really use the computer at all. My entire day was spent at rest. I was (and am) completely bedridden.

In summer I stared taking LDN. I had an immediate and highly significant boost in my mental stamina. My neurological sensitivity all but disappeared. However, I didn't get much of a boost in my physical stamina. I made attempts to slowly rehabilitate my body to transition out of this permanently horizontal state, however I found it very difficult. The boost I had from the LDN wore off a little and my efforts to get myself back up and walking ultimately failed.

I'm now stuck in a rut where I spend all day, every day staring at my laptop. This is virtually from the moment I wake until the moment I go to sleep. I easily spend 12+ hours a day staring at a screen. I feel like I could maybe start progressing again if I focused on meditation and getting more rest, but I find myself habitually reaching for my laptop, and before i know it I am clicking through the same sites over and over and over again.

It has become a real problem. I only have two modes: on my laptop, or bored and thinking about going on my laptop.

Can anyone resonate with this experience?

 

[TiredSam]

Could you try reading a book as a half-way step in the right direction?

 

[Cheesus]

Could you try reading a book as a half-way step in the right direction?

Yeah I think I should try returning to audiobooks - thanks for reminding me of that. My problem now is that I have the attention span of a goldfish!

 

[trishrhymes]

Yes, yes, and yes. And I'm getting worse at it.

I'm not as ill as you - housebound rather than bedbound, but spending most of the day either lying in bed or sitting on sofa with legs outstretched (equivalent of sitting up in bed), using laptop for most of that time.

One solution I'm attempting is using audio books, CD's and radio programs to distract me, ideally lying with eyes closed and just listening / letting my mind drift.

My favourite that I keep returning to is the Harry Potter books which I have on CD's read by Stephen Fry. An escape into another world, and one where good triumphs in the end (Lord Voldemort is Simon Wessely of course). How sad is that, I'm 67 years old!

I used to read a lot, like a book a day when time allowed, but I've gone off that a bit lately. Started watching TV series on Netflix instead, so that's more screen time - but at least using my laptop I can easily turn down the sound and brightness, which makes it more restful.

I allow myself this because the distraction helps reduce my stress levels (providing the content is not too violent or emotional).

I still have a bad habit of getting bored with just listening after half an hour or less, and starting to play a simple computer game while listening (Plants versus zombies, mahjong, spider solitaire, sudoku...)

I keep coming back to PR several times a day and joining in discussions, as much for the company as having anything worth saying. Look, here I am, doing it again.

I don't have any answers except to suggest you try alternating periods of listening with eyes closed and computer time. If I know I can go back on the computer after half an hour, I can usually stick the break for that long, maybe try 10 minute breaks to start with.

Perhaps you need to find a way of looking forward to the next episode of whatever you're listening to...

Good luck and let us know how you get on. I'll try to take my own advice and let you know how it goes.

EDIT: Just seen your post. Worth trying audio books again. I lose concentration all the time. Think of it as an advantage - you can listen to the same episode over and over and get a bit more out of it each time!

 

[TiredSam]

Yeah I think I should try returning to audiobooks - thanks for reminding me of that. My problem now is that I have the attention span of a goldfish!

You could try listening in the bath

Or only choosing stuff to listen to that really really interests you so your attention doesn't wander so much. I only give a book the first 100 pages these days, if it hasn't grabbed me by then I blame the author and move on to something else.

I was lent a huge book by Stephen Jay Gould, which I was really looking forward to reading, but he only made it to page 27 last night and blew his chances. I was reading a really famous piece of his about how his ability to interpret statistics stopped him panicking about being diagnosed with a cancer which kills 50% of those afflicted within 8 months. He went on to live many more years. "That'll be just my cup of tea", I thought. It's reproduced here:

https://www.edwardtufte.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg?msg_id=0003ms

Unfortunately whilst he was being brilliantly scientific he also wrote this:

Attitude clearly matters in fighting cancer. We don't know why (from my old-style materialistic perspective, I suspect that mental states feed back upon the immune system). But match people with the same cancer for age, class, health, socioeconomic status, and, in general, those with positive attitudes, with a strong will and purpose for living, with commitment to struggle, with an active response to aiding their own treatment and not just a passive acceptance of anything doctors say, tend to live longer.

So now he can kiss my ass goodbye for unquestionably promoting junk science, and I've moved on to a book called "Old Filth" instead.

That's how I do it anyway.

 

[Cheesus]

Lord Voldemort is Simon Wessely of course

The PACE trial is his final Horcrux.

I had a break earlier and rested with my eyes closed for a while. My fatigue just overwhelmed me. It's like I don't realise how much the computer takes it out of me until I stop.

Right, I am going to get some audiobooks then get off this machine. Wish me luck!

 

[adreno]

Welcome to the 21. century.

 

[Cheesus]

So now he can kiss my ass goodbye for unquestionably promoting junk science, and I've moved on to a book called "Old Filth" instead.

Did he cite any evidence? Or did he just make the assertion?

Yeah finding stuff that is really interesting is key. In my past experience I tend to end up listening too much if I get too interested though. There is no winning!

Really I need to vary my activities. I must remember to include plenty of meditation.

 

[nikefourstar]

@Cheesus Do you think that being on the computer/phone all day looking things up really can take a lot out of you? What do you do if you're not doing that. Because I'm bed bound too and I'm finding it difficult to do anything besides look up all different things m e related.

 

[TiredSam]

Right, I am going to get some audiobooks then get off this machine. Wish me luck!

Good luck

Did he cite any evidence? Or did he just make the assertion?

Just made the assertion. I was very disappointed to read this in an article touted as an example of a brilliant mind applying statistical analysis to see the real picture. I can read that patient-blaming crap anywhere, and it's been completely debunked in Barbara Ehrenreich's brilliant book, "Smile or Die".

After that I tried carrying on with Stephen Jay Gould's book (next article I read was about Freud to see what he'd say about that), but unfortunately he'd lost me, I just kept thinking "you silly twerp" as I was reading (him, not me), so I gave up. Prefer Dawkins anyway.

 

[PatJ]

I would be using my laptop more if looking at a monitor didn't increase my brain inflammation (I'm assuming that's what's happening.) I've noticed that if I spend more than a certain amount of time on the laptop then I'll want to stay on longer, like some sort of addictive effect. If I keep the time shorter, then take a long break, and go back on again later then I can circumvent the addictive feeling.

I can't listen to any sound coming out of a speaker due to audio sensitivities (hyperacusis), can't watch TV or use the computer for long due to light sensitivities, can't read anything on paper due to a weird neurological reaction, can't stay upright for long due to OI, can't meditate because I slip into a stupor (parasympathetic dominance?) and can't do much with my arms in bed due to rapid muscle fatigue.

That doesn't leave much for me to do. I can look at photographs in magazines or light books; look out my window at a bird feeder, trees, and occasional pedestrians; or do some illustrating or Zentangleing using a light piece of foamcore to steady my hand while lying on my back. Maybe those are some options for you as well.

I also got a cognitive boost from LDN. Liposomal glutathione has given me enough of a physical boost that I can do some illustration when before I could only lie in bed and think or doze for much of the day.

 

[reader62]

That sounds my day. My concentration isn't great, so I move from activity to activity - watch a bit of a film on Netflix, rest, read a chapter of a book, listen to a programme on Radio 4, rest, watch another 30 minutes of the film, and so on. I've also started colouring, although not for too long because I have problems with my hands. But I don't know what I would do without my technology.

 

[Countrygirl]

I so wish we 'ole timers had the luxury of connecting with others through the 70s. 80s, 90s and early 00s. It would have made such a difference.

We were on our own, bed/house bound, dismissed by doctors, friends and family with no one to confirm that we were one of a huge number of people round the world whose lives were devastated by this horrible disease.

So wonderful now to be able to connect with others on the laptop for confirmation, companionship, support, knowledge and encouragement.

At loooooong last we are not alone.

Thank you everyone!

 

[Cheesus]

@Cheesus Do you think that being on the computer/phone all day looking things up really can take a lot out of you? What do you do if you're not doing that. Because I'm bed bound too and I'm finding it difficult to do anything besides look up all different things m e related.

Yes it definitely takes it out of me. I came off my laptop earlier today and rested for a while. The next thing I know I was waking up like 3 hours later, still absolutely shattered. I have moved on from looking up ME stuff, because I kind of exhausted everything there was to look up and it always just felt majorly depressing. Now I spend a lot of my time researching cryptocurrencies.

@reader62 That doesn't sound too bad, actually! At least it is full of variety.

@Countrygirl These millennials don't know the meaning of boredom

 

[Ben H]

Yes it definitely takes it out of me. I came off my laptop earlier today and rested for a while. The next thing I know I was waking up like 3 hours later, still absolutely shattered. I have moved on from looking up ME stuff, because I kind of exhausted everything there was to look up and it always just felt majorly depressing. Now I spend a lot of my time researching cryptocurrencies.

@reader62 That doesn't sound too bad, actually! At least it is full of variety.

@Countrygirl These millennials don't know the meaning of boredom

Hey @Cheesus

I can empathise with this 100%. I sound in a similar state to yourself (bedridden 99% and extremely weak since June) and since becoming 'severe' the phone in my case is very hard for me to not look at, research etc. Like an OCD kind of thing. I attribute this partly to the immense energy needed to rest (Naviaux) and with less energy paradoxically we are more restless.

Sometimes it's absolutely necessary stuff, sometimes its really not. And it is utterly crazy because I am too weak to even hold my phone up without resting right now, i.e. I really need to rest fully.

Interesting about cryptocurrencies btw. Im currenty mining Ethereum to try to raise money for charity/research! I almost posted in here if anyone is into computing and had a reasonably powerful computer, on the GPU side, to mine together.


B

 

[Cheesus]

Sometimes it's absolutely necessary stuff, sometimes its really not. And it is utterly crazy because I am too weak to even hold my phone up without resting right now!

That sucks I am sorry to hear that.

I know exactly what you mean with some of it being necessary, but a lot of it just isn't. I go through the same websites staring at stuff, rinse and repeat. It isn't even remotely fulfilling or useful, but I do it anyway.

It used to be the phone for me before I started LDN and upgraded to my laptop. I would have to ask my parents to put a restrictions code on it so I didn't plough absolutely all of my energy into using. I would still manage to spend time browsing through the most inanely boring stuff though, and became very creative in finding ways to bypass the restrictions setting.

 

[Cheesus]

Interesting about cryptocurrencies btw. Im currenty mining Ethereum to try to raise money for charity/research! I almost posted in here if anyone is into computing and had a reasonably powerful computer, on the GPU side, to mine together.

I just saw this. I'd love to mine but I am using a Macbook Air. I tried it once but I was getting about 30H/s and the thing started getting alarmingly hot so I ditched it after about a minute. I've bought into a few cryptos in the hope that they will be the next big thing - Monero, Ether, Maidsafe, Ripple and, obviously, Bitcoin.

 

[Ben H]

That sucks I am sorry to hear that.

I know exactly what you mean with some of it being necessary, but a lot of it just isn't. I go through the same websites staring at stuff, rinse and repeat. It isn't even remotely fulfilling or useful, but I do it anyway.

It used to be the phone for me before I started LDN and upgraded to my laptop. I would have to ask my parents to put a restrictions code on it so I didn't plough absolutely all of my energy into using. I would still manage to spend time browsing through the most inanely boring stuff though, and became very creative in finding ways to bypass the restrictions setting.

Exactly. This is exactly what happens for me too. But only since I became severe.

Lol@bypass restrictions.



B

 

[Ben H]

I just saw this. I'd love to mine but I am using a Macbook Air. I tried it once but I was getting about 30H/s and the thing started getting alarmingly hot so I ditched it after about a minute. I've bought into a few cryptos in the hope that they will be the next big thing - Monero, Ether, Maidsafe, Ripple and, obviously, Bitcoin.

Yea, think it was wise to stop on the macbook!

Buying into it seems the most efficient way to be honest. Ive always been into PC's so used it that way (even mined dogecoin for a joke!-much success!) so thats what Im doing now. Plus, it obviously takes 0 energy.

Anyway, Ive derailed the thread somewhat, apologies. The answer to your question is a resounding 'yes'.


B

 

[Cheesus]

Anyway, Ive derailed the thread somewhat, apologies. The answer to your question is a resounding 'yes'.

Crypto is way more interesting than this problem! I can never find anyone to talk at about it.

Dogecoin is still clinging on with a fairly large market cap! The joke is apparently worth $22million (much wow, very success). Can't say I am planning to buy any though.

There is a free crypto MOOC (massive open online course) starting in February from the University of Nicosia. It is the introductory module to a cryptocurrency MSc that they run. If you are up to it then it may be worth checking out if you think you'd get anything out of it. It is completely free.