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Determined to walk on her wedding day

Sidereal

Senior Member
Messages
4,856
I fully agree. Everyone in the community accepts ceilings in the mild to moderate , although I understand UKs fatigue clinics and Peter White may not.
However for the severely affected practically everyone just expects them to improve to a reasonable quality of life again or to be able to do rehabilitation- why? Is it because severe ME is so debilitating people think " you can't live like that" or don't want to think that can be long- term? , or because some severe do more easily improve so it's assumed all can, or is it because of the fundamental underlying "it's only ME" ideas that come from the medical profession so it can't be that bad indefinitely that even sufferers can hold.
Ceilings can be concrete ceilings at 5% or 55% functioning unfortunately. The idea that the severe who don't get better aren't continually testing the water or hoping for improvement too is wrong and I also think that once severe it's much more likely that be forced to over exert and cement ceilings. It's like being a fly caught in a web, the more you are caught , the harder to get out and the easier it is to tangle yourself more by the slightest thing.

My impression is that severe ME is where the rubber meets the road. With mild and moderate ME patients, minor improvements in function are sometimes possible because some of us are not pushing ourselves to 100% of preexisting activity ceiling every single day so when the CBT/GET/physiotherapy lobby is called in and says to the patient "do a bit more" and the patient does a bit more it's declared as a treatment success when in actuality their activity ceiling didn't expand at all, they're just pushing themselves to 95% or 100% instead of 90% of what they were capable of to begin with. The delusion can thus persist in the mental health professional's head that something he/she said to the patient modified their illness beliefs and altered their symptoms. But when confronted with a level of disability where mere existence is enough to push you over the anaerobic threshold, and the patient is already doing 110% of activity ceiling merely by lying in bed and running metabolic processes, these so-called health professions have two options:

- accept that it is a physical illness where energy production capacity cannot magically be made more abundant by talking to the patient in a patronising way or doing physiotherapy on the patient, thus losing their income since they would have to accept that if severe ME is biological, by logical extension so are mild and moderate, and thus there is no point in trying to rehabilitate any of them out of anything;

- continue to pretend that ME cannot possibly be THAT bad so if it seems very bad in relatively rare cases then it must be that the patient rested too much and deconditioned themselves, or it must be pervasive refusal syndrome and the patient should be forced to attain a less egregious level of disability somehow through some magic intervention involving talking and behavioural activation.

In psych parlance, severe ME causes cognitive dissonance in the typical health professional who, let's face it, says to the patient "ME is real" but doesn't REALLY believe in the biological reality of ME, i.e. people in positions of authority who hold some nebulous BPS thoughts about the magical interaction between the mind and the body.

Either way, the comforting delusion they hold that "it's only ME" gets confronted with stark reality in severe and very severe cases whereas the mild and moderate can sort of be hand-waved away as people who are sort of muddling through, just not psychologically strong enough to do a full day's work or normal family life or whatever.
 

Gingergrrl

Senior Member
Messages
16,171
I think she could only walk down the aisle - just that one walk was all she wanted to do. She cant generally walk again and is still mainly bedbound I believe.

Thanks for explaining @justy and this was my sense from the video as well since she was using her wheelchair both before and after the walk down the aisle. I guess what I meant to say is that I did not realize that she could walk at all (not that she can walk 100% of the time without wheelchair).

I remember watching videos where she was literally hoisted out of bed with a crane type device in order to move to a chair next to her bed. So it seems like she really worked hard to achieve her goal of walking down the aisle (but it does not represent a recovery or cure or anything more than one walk). I hope I explained that better. I was just so happy for her that she was able to do this one thing that meant so much to her and always found her to have such a loving and beautiful spirit from her videos and songs.
 

Cinders66

Senior Member
Messages
494
The Mirror has posted this story today. I don't think it accurately deals with this woman's predicament, though the article does say she fell ill with myalgic encephalopathy (and not CFS):

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/disabled-woman-wheelchair-10-years-10384874


I've seen some of what neuro rehabilitation post injury can look like, it's hours doing repetitive, boring physically tough tasks, pushing the body. It looks gruelling as it's a struggle but they go at it and go aT it in order to build up strENGTH or retrain the brain. ME physio for someone trying to increase the amount they walk will I don't think, be anything like that but that is the impression that's given by using this language. I've often wished I had the type of damage whereby getting better WAS long hours of gruellingly physio, at least it does feel like you could bring about change. In M.E it might be A FEW stretches,long rest, pushing against the bed a few times , long rest and and then adding a couple of steps in to your ten step two minute walk, once a week or month if you're lucky. It might feel gruelling but it's not how the public will be imaginging if I don't think.
 

SamanthaJ

Senior Member
Messages
219
The Mirror has posted this story today. I don't think it accurately deals with this woman's predicament, though the article does say she fell ill with myalgic encephalopathy (and not CFS):

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/disabled-woman-wheelchair-10-years-10384874
Someone's posted this comment underneath, I think it's the groom!

"Just to confirm to your readers this article is extremely inaccurate and most if not all the quotes are fake.
I'm very upset over this and the headline is dam right rude."

How horrible for this family if that's what's happened.
 
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Cinders66

Senior Member
Messages
494
I'm afraid I think with all the problematic assumptions around this illness, how to get better and severe ME generally, whilst the story for we who understand it all, is moving and sweet in itself, how it's going to be likely interpreted by the public in nane if severe ME awareness is going to be mixed in it's effect at best.
 

Ysabelle-S

Highly Vexatious
Messages
524
Someone's posted this comment underneath, I think it's the groom!

"Just to confirm to your readers this article is extremely inaccurate and most if not all the quotes are fake.
I'm very upset over this and the headline is dam right rude."

How horrible for this family if that's what's happened.

How awful. :(
 

Ysabelle-S

Highly Vexatious
Messages
524
I've seen some of what neuro rehabilitation post injury can look like, it's hours doing repetitive, boring physically tough tasks, pushing the body. It looks gruelling as it's a struggle but they go at it and go aT it in order to build up strENGTH or retrain the brain. ME physio for someone trying to increase the amount they walk will I don't think, be anything like that but that is the impression that's given by using this language. I've often wished I had the type of damage whereby getting better WAS long hours of gruellingly physio, at least it does feel like you could bring about change. In M.E it might be A FEW stretches,long rest, pushing against the bed a few times , long rest and and then adding a couple of steps in to your ten step two minute walk, once a week or month if you're lucky. It might feel gruelling but it's not how the public will be imaginging if I don't think.

It doesn't deal with the underlying energy production and immune problems. The physio and medication were just a means to a particular end, and at very high risk for her. I hope she does not suffer too much from the exertion, though I'm sure she has some lovely memories from her wedding day now to treasure. Media hopeless though in reporting it all accurately.
 

Indigophoton

Senior Member
Messages
127
Location
UK
Thanks for explaining @justy and this was my sense from the video as well since she was using her wheelchair both before and after the walk down the aisle. .

Jessica and her hubby and this story were featured on BBC South East News last night. They made it clear that Jessica had massive support to enable her to achieve her dream ("people looking after every part of my body" as she put it) and one of the main reasons for choosing the church in which she got married was the very short aisle, as anything longer wouldn't have been possible.

It was a very good, sympathetic piece.
 
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