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Crash has just knocked me off my feet

Discussion in 'Post-Exertional Malaise, Fatigue, and Crashes' started by ladybug_uk, Jun 1, 2015.

  1. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Hi everyone :)

    I'm new to Phoenix Rising - been getting sick of Facebook so went looking for forums and came across this one.

    I lost my mum at the end of March and I was doing ok, just keeping really busy so I was always around people and didn't really think about it, then around the 6 week mark, I hit a massive crash that I just can't seem to shake.

    Everything is an effort right now, and my body is just turning against me - I've developed "stress induced" lactose intolerance, my skin is covered in blotches and dry patches and I'm sore all over. I feel foggy, ridiculously exhausted and run down.

    I had gone to my GP on Friday for some advice on how to manage the M.E alongside the grief and to tell her how much I was struggling, but as usual, she was of no help and just told me not to sleep during the day and "stay as active as possible". Yeah right, I will get right on that. Local M.E clinic can't see me until July, so stuck like this until then.

    So for now, it's back to square one, with lots of rest, proper medication/supplement regime, better eating, lots of water and taking good care of myself in general. Does anyone have any tips for things that helped them through their worst crashes? Any advice on pacing? It's the one thing I've always struggled with as I always feel I should be doing more and I look at the mess of the house/garden and the piles of laundry or paperwork and think, "well there's so much to be done, I need to just push on".

    Thanks for listening, been feeling quite lonely since mum died, so nice to be able to post to others.

    Ladybug x
     
    Hutan, AndyPandy, *GG* and 2 others like this.
  2. Mel9

    Mel9 Senior Member

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    Hi Ladybug
    Very sorry to hear about your mum and your crash. I have just recovered from a crash. I think you should ignore the housework and do nothing but rest. You will get excellent help from pr. Everyone here seems to agree that 'pushing through' is never the best way.
     
    AndyPandy, jeff_w and justy like this.
  3. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Thanks Mel :)
     
  4. liverock

    liverock Senior Member

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    Hi Ladybug

    Grief is one of the strongest emotions we are will ever have to go through and there are many ways that people try to ease the pain. i remember I was fairly young when my Father died and the loss felt like it was the end of the world.

    I tried occupying my time with various activities but it was really just pushing the pain deeper and the turning point for me was starting to read the Bible and hearing the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus said 'Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted' I thought this was nonsense and cruel, how could mourning be described as being blessed? I found out though that through the grief and tears I was forced to evaluate my relationship with other members in my family and my outlook on life in general and eventually received comfort and peace.

    I pray that as you go through your grief you eventually will find the same comfort and peace.
     
  5. Mary

    Mary Forum Support Assistant

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    @ladybug_uk - I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. re your crash - many years ago my house was flooded and I thought I was managing things quite until about 3 days later when I got hit with a bone-deep fatigue. I went to my chiropractor who does muscle testing and he found that my adrenals had taken a hit from all the stress, which was causing the exhaustion. So I'm wondering if weakened adrenals are causing your fatigue. My chiro gave me an adrenal glandular by Standard Process called Drenatrophin PMG. I had to take 3 to 4 times the recommended dose daily because my adrenals were so weak (this had happened to me before), and within a couple of days my energy started to come back.

    Also a good B vitamin complex and extra pantothenic acid are crucial for adrenal health, as well as limiting sugar, caffeine and alcohol.
     
  6. justy

    justy Donate Advocate Demonstrate

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    So sorry Ladybug to hear about the death of your mother - that's going to be hard for anyone to cope with and when you have a chronic illness as well it can all feel unmanageable.

    My advice for getting out of crashes is to rest in bed for as long as possible until you begin to feel a little better, and then only to increase activity very gradually after this.
     
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  7. whodathunkit

    whodathunkit Senior Member

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    Ladybug, so sorry to hear about your mom. That's one of the toughest things we face in life, for sure.

    I like all the advice in this thread...I think prolonged stress from my grandmother's death is the thing that pushed me over the edge to seriously poor health, and I've actually used all these strategies at different times.

    I do definitely agree with @justy, though...bed rest and just don't worry about the piles of stuff. They'll still be there when you get around to them, and trust me, in the grander scheme, the vast majority of stuff in the pile can wait. The world doesn't end because your pile gets bigger, and you actually don't have to feel bad about it unless you want to. It's easy to identify the real priorities v the stuff that should be done.

    As far as the messy house...*laf* *laf* :lol: THAT actually doesn't matter ONE LITTLE BIT in the grander scheme of things. Trust me. I have years of experience living with a messy house. Choose rest and taking care of your body instead. Your house will still be there when you recover, and if you don't let yourself recover eventually you won't care if you have a nice house, anyway.
     
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  8. ahmo

    ahmo Senior Member

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    So sorry to hear Ladybug. In addition to rest, Ive found high antioxidant intake to be incredibly when I've been onthe verge of crashing, or recovering. For me that's settled on large amounts of carrots and green tea, in addition to the regulaar suspects, eg. Vit C, astaxanthine or your favorite antiox supplements. For awhile I was drinking 3litres green tea/day, a kilo of carrots. Really helped. Best wishes to you.:hug:
     
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  9. Hutan

    Hutan Senior Member

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    You have a lot to cope with Ladybug, you have my sympathy.

    Although the advice to ignore the accumulating house and yard work is good, I find it is hard to do in practice. Mess and the resulting feeling of lack of control can be a source of stress on its own. And it can end up requiring more energy e.g. trying to find things.

    Could you perhaps find someone to help you with things just while you recover? Maybe target something very specific that you know will make a difference. For example, perhaps you have a spot to sit and look out on the garden - so you could get someone to tidy just that bit of garden and clean the window.

    Best wishes
     
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  10. jeff_w

    jeff_w Senior Member

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    100% agree! This works for me, and I have heard many others on this board say the same.

    I'm so sorry for your loss.
     
    justy and AndyPandy like this.
  11. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Thanks liverock, it's a daily struggle to deal with the overwhelming grief. It definitely makes you take another look at your life and evaluate what's important! x

     
  12. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Hi Mary, how awful that must have been, I would be devastated if my house was flooded! I definitely think my adrenals are playing a part in this, going to do a spit test for proper analysis and then see where I stand! I'm already on a daily high strength B vitamin complex and monthly B12 injections. Is pantothenic acid one of the B vits? I've been cutting out sugar, dairy, alcohol, but caffeine is the one I struggle with, I do like a nice freshly ground percolator coffee every few days! x

     
  13. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Thanks Justy, that's exactly what I'm going to do. Think I just needed the reassurance that that was the right thing to do. Don't know why I ever let GP put doubt in my mind. "Be as active as possible" - it's so frustrating! x

     
  14. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Thanks whodatunkit! Sorry to hear about your grandmother, I lost my grandfather last June and I was so close to him, it broke my heart to lose him.

    Definitely going to ignore the tiny, anxious, OCD part of me worrying about the mess, you are v right. My mum used to always say "the house will be there when you're not!" so there's plenty time for me to catch up when I feel better and can do a little more. x

     
    whodathunkit likes this.
  15. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Hi Ahmo,

    Thanks for the advice on antioxidants - I'm already on vit c powder, but will add in lots of green tea. Can't stand carrots, except for in juice, so will buy a load with the groceries this week and get juicing! I will have a wee Google about astaxanthine as that's completely new to me :) thanks so much x

     
    ahmo likes this.
  16. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Hutan, you totally get me, I'm borderline OCD so leaving the house work does stress me, but trying to get it under control more.

    I have my husband here, but he's exhausted working long shifts, so I hate to ask him to do things on his little time off, but the targeting something specific sounds really manageable and a great idea, thank you x

     
    Hutan likes this.
  17. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Thanks jeff_w - it's great to have all these lovely replies, really helps me feel less lonely! x

     
  18. whodathunkit

    whodathunkit Senior Member

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    @ladybug_uk: FWIW, it took me a while to learn how to not let the mess stress me. I also have an OCD part of my personality, but never realized I had it about cleaning until I internalized the fact that most people's houses are A LOT messier than how I was raised to keep house, and they all manage to live quite well. Roommates and friends used to make fun of me because I would get out the toothbrush to do the corners of the bathroom floor, etc. Surprisingly, I didn't really notice the difference between my ideals/actions and reality until I increasingly couldn't attend to the details any more, then got to where I couldn't clean, period. I had to choose between taking care of my house or doing more crucial things like getting enough rest along with completing my education or going to work to pay the bills. Then I was forced to notice the difference because something had to give. All about perspective, I guess.

    That said, I do second @Hutan's advice to hire someone to do the things that bug you the most, if you can afford it. I didn't suggest it in original post because the issue of affording can be a sticky wicket with some people. Myself, I got used to the mess when I was a pore & starvin' college student, so now that I could afford it I don't care as much. ;) I've made peace with the fact that I choose to spend my discretionary income on supplements and my "discretionary energy" on my health at present. But maybe one day in the not-too-far-off I will have a weekly cleaner come in. Or better yet, I'll be able to do it myself. :D

    Good luck, keep us posted on how you do! :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2015
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  19. Mary

    Mary Forum Support Assistant

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    Pantothenic acid is one of the Bs and I think the most important one for adrenal health. I take 500 mg. a day, in addition to a good B complex (plus methylfolate, methlcobalamin, and B6 (P-5-P)). Here's one article on adrenal health which mentions pantothenic acid as part of an adrenal support regimen: http://www.endfatigue.com/articles/article_the_adrenal_gland.html

    I drink coffee too - I have one large very good cup of coffee a day, and that's pretty much it for caffeine and me. It's sounds like you're on the right track nutritionally. Good luck with everything!
     
  20. ladybug_uk

    ladybug_uk

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    Hi whodathunkit, nice to know I'm not alone with the OCD! It drives me mad, I wish I could just live with mess and not let it get to me, but that anxious little part of my brain just takes over! A cleaner would be lovely, but I have social anxiety as well, so not sure how I'd cope - what am I like, I'm jst a bundle of disorders! :)

     

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