Often pondered if I'm somewhat on the Autism spectrum, since it seems more and more to be a rather huge spectrum in fact: what is "illness" and what is part of the variation of Homo Sapiens, hm?
Just cannot stand lies/wrong/leaving things broken, absolutely does my head in.
Highly intelligent, is such caused by parts of the mind specializing more in puzzle solving/meory etc, rather than people? I used ot be very empathic before I got M.E., but social stuff, eh...fun, games, chat sure fun
but...much of stuff folk got up to...????
and is "introversion" extremely mild autism or merely chosing to NOT stop caring about others?
love folk in small doses, always took too much effort dealing with more than a few folks cause I cared .
most folk in my area have been poisoned by heavy metals due to the enormous factories, 1st or 2nd largest conglomeration of steel/metal workings in Europe, and bet my dad was mildly radioactive from the sodding radium painting part in the factory he worked in (the walls literally
glowed when they knocked that part down, not Cerenkov radiation, that is only from
major bukoo bad ass stuff like spent fuel rods, but in factory's case, just sheer amount of radium that had been used and thus absorbed into walls etc)
got poisoned by copper sulphate dad used as weedkiller (or rather, moss killer to be exact), burned my insides out and left me with serious stomach issues that slowly lessened over years stopped around teenage years.
or then again history of childhood abuse can create anxiety/issues hence I really don't like being close up with a bunch of folk I don't trust.
could part of autism really lie on what we might call the "good" side of our psyches coming from hard biology?
the need for order, having things right, fairness and such.
but with damage of some form, there is gross feedback, over stimulus, unbearable suffering thus shutting out the world....
as I've said before, I've had extended period of low blood sugar, and meningitis, and way they make stimulus unbearably distressing etc, does to my experiences have some parallels with M.E., especially low blood sugar.
forgive my pondering