• Welcome to Phoenix Rising!

    Created in 2008, Phoenix Rising is the largest and oldest forum dedicated to furthering the understanding of and finding treatments for complex chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), fibromyalgia (FM), long COVID, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), and allied diseases.

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  1. C

    How honest should I be?

    My friend has asked me how I am, and I don't know how truthful I should be. We have messaged a little bit since uni got cancelled, but I am disappointed with the contact we have had in the last month. I miss her, obviously, but I am also really struggling, both mentally and physically. My lack...
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    Who do you trust with information about covid 19?

    Where do you get your statistics from? How do you interpret them? That is something I struggle with.
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Coronavirus - should I be worried?'

    Too true, we are all self-centred at the end of the day, and I know that feeling all too well. I have at least reflected on why my thought process has gone done this route, and that has helped. Today was a better day, and thinking about it calmly and rationally has helped. Physical fatigue...
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    Who do you trust with information about covid 19?

    There is so much conflicting information about covid 19, it is hard to know who is given out the most reliable information. What sources do you trust?
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Covid-19 has made me ponder whether humanity is that great after all?'

    this is the article that I referred to https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/mar/18/tip-of-the-iceberg-is-our-destruction-of-nature-responsible-for-covid-19-aoe Within it they talk about the numerous viruses which are yet to be discovered, and how the destruction of ecosystems leads to...
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    Covid-19 has made me ponder whether humanity is that great after all?

    As humans we are told that our ability to think makes us special, and humanity is great because we treat each other with respect and protect our most vulnerable, but is this true? Even if this is true, is it enough? Covid-19 has shown what is regarded as acts of altruism, while countries have...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Coronavirus - should I be worried?'

    it is possible that this is the case, I just think that it is more likely that I vastly overestimated how much she values me. The fact that I can only contact her by message hugely limits what I can do. I know that messages can be easily misinterpreted, so I feel that I have to be careful. As...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Coronavirus - should I be worried?'

    Governments around the world believe this is a serious crisis, according to AFP their are 1billion people told or enforced to stay at home. The death toll has been drastically reduced by these measures, only 3,500 have died in China, but it would've have been far greater without these measures...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Coronavirus - should I be worried?'

    It is perfectly possible reasoning, but I don't know. So far the contact that we have had, since uni has closed, doesn't inspire me to believe that I will hear much from her. This is a new phase of our friendship, one in which I have never excelled in the past, and I don't know how to play...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Coronavirus - should I be worried?'

    I guess that it depends on your standpoint, who is close to you and vulnerable. The draconian measures are likely to last for some time yet, but having CFS gives good practice for social distancing.
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Coronavirus - should I be worried?'

    I haven't ever got the impression that she would be, I have seen her happily answer the phone before. I know one person, who I speak to on facetime occasionally, who isn't keen on using it because she doesn't like looking at herself on the video chat. I don't mind how we stay in touch, but i...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Coronavirus - should I be worried?'

    Thank you for all the practical advice. It still feels so daunting atm. I guess being shy and a bit of a loner makes social distancing easier. I am just not used to avoiding germs at the same time. Luckily my dad has an allotment, which means that the three of us have a ready made supply of...
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    Coronavirus - should I be worried?

    Social distancing, a pandemic, lockdown in Europe and potentially 8 million Brits requiring hospital treatment, just how bad is this going to get. The world seems to be stopping now and it feels like the end of the world. My thoughts naturally turn to my circumstances and those who are close to...
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    Friendship can be amazingly transformative, but very brittle at the same time.

    The right friendship seems to have a magical effect on my health, all of a sudden my energy levels can soar, my mood improves, I feel lighter and my sleep becomes more efficient. It is so weird how things can change so easily at times and so hard to explain. I don’t fully understand why it quite...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'My stress is becoming all consuming'

    So, I took your advice and arranged to meet with her. We had lunch today, I was expecting her to ask why I wanted to see her, but she didn't, and I didn't bring it up. We just chatted, which was nice, and I will be seeing her later tonight as well. Just the fact she was happy to meet today and...
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    My stress is becoming all consuming

    The last week has been completely consumed by horrible, stressful thoughts about Jenna. The first time that I met her was a non event, she was just part of a group that I hung out with. The loss of my two Erasmus friends at the end of last term, led me to look for other people who were...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Excruciating insecurities smash my fleeting moment of energy, while students live down to their reputation.'

    Definitely! I just can't seem to cope at times, my CFS just seems to work in combination with my insecurities, to just make things worse. It is frustrating, I miss being able to throw myself into sport. Luckily I haven't really been on the receiving end of much harsh judgement. He is just a...
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    Excruciating insecurities smash my fleeting moment of energy, while students live down to their reputation.

    For a brief sunlit moment my energy levels picked up, I know precisely why, my friend Jenna. Things were going so well, I felt incredibly close to her and I loved every moment I spent with her, until I pushed it too far. A coincidence of a night planned out, that she forgot and a gap in my day...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'My CFS blogs'

    My tutor, who teachers most of my modules, is really nice, and I have been keeping him updated with how I have been getting on so far. I will try not to worry, but that can be hard at times, as this is my second time at uni after falling ill first time around. Thank you for sharing your...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Shyness and CFS are a recipe for isolation'

    Thank you for your kind thoughts. I think that this term is becoming quite frustrating, because I know with the right set of conditions I can have plenty of energy, but I just seem to be very tired this term. So from a positive standpoint, there is always hope! I have found this blog to be...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'My CFS blogs'

    Yep, it is a full course. It sounds like you had a good experience. First term went well, but my energy levels have dropped in the second term, and now i am worried... which doesn't help at all!
  22. C

    Shyness and CFS are a recipe for isolation

    There is a buzz of chatter, laughter and joy seem all around, but I just feel so isolated, unable to express myself, I just sit there while dark thoughts circle, I hate being shy and I hate being tired all the time. I leave with this empty feeling of despair in my stomach, just wanting to cry...
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'My CFS blogs'

    Thank you!!!
  24. C

    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'The crushing abyss, a glimmer of hope and poker.'

    Yep, yep, yep!!!!!! Yes, I am sure too that he forgot the time. I just get caught up in my own head sometimes, but an anonymous blog is a great place to let out all these twisted dark thoughts.
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    Comment by 'carvahlo' in 'Drained'

    The joys of weather in Britain are truly a delight!;)
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    Drained

    The room is small and dingy, with a table, TV and some chairs. The walls are white, but you can tell it has been a while since they were painted. I sit for a moment staring through the window into nothingness, the rain lightly falls, but it doesn’t register, my brain is switched off. Suddenly I...
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    The crushing abyss, a glimmer of hope and poker.

    I posted this originally on wordpress last week, but thought I would post it on here as well. On the verge of tears I feel isolated, with all my insecurities flooding back, overwhelming my every thought, I don’t know how to go on. I was meant to play cards with my friend, but he messaged an...
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    My CFS blogs

    I posted this originally last week on my wordpress blog, but I thought I would see how it fairs on this website. My name is Thomas, I am 29 years old and I have just completed my first term at university. The aim of this blog is to provide an insight into the everyday trials and tribulations of...
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    My journey through University with CFS

    I started this blog originally on word press, but I thought I would see how it fairs on this website. My name is Thomas, I am 29 years old and I have just completed my first term at university. The aim of this blog is to provide an insight into the everyday trials and tribulations of living...
  30. C

    My journey through University with CFS

    I posted this originally on word press, but I thought I would see how it fairs on this website. My name is Thomas, I am 29 years old and I have just completed my first term at university. The aim of this blog is to provide an insight into the everyday trials and tribulations of living with...