• Welcome to Phoenix Rising!

    Created in 2008, Phoenix Rising is the largest and oldest forum dedicated to furthering the understanding of and finding treatments for complex chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), fibromyalgia (FM), long COVID, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), and allied diseases.

    To become a member, simply click the Register button at the top right.

My Airbnb Situation..

JohnnyD

Senior Member
Messages
206
Hi. I've run a couple of airbnb's out of my house for about a year and a half - but they function as separate units, and I'm a single male... so initially, we have the opposite problem, e.g. getting females comfortable with staying at our airbnbs A few thoughts.

An attractive woman sharing a 700 sq ft apt, bathroom and common living space with a strange man is quite intimate to say the least. No wonder you are getting many more men than women, they are hoping for something more. I would clearly lay out the ground rules in your hosting description - be blunt but polite about it, but make sure there is no uncertainty (tell them you have a boyfriend, tell them you've had previous guests hit on you and you are not interested, whatever) that you are not interested in anything else but providing some tourist tips , --- then if you want to socialize, you have more control over that, it's not an expectation. I think the longer you aribnb, the less you are going to want to socialize with every guest you have. I they have no feedback, I would not accept them, unless, maybe, they are willing to exchange a few emails with you so you can get to know them a bit. In fact I'd exchange emails with all potential guests so you can get a feel for who they are. The downside of course is that you may not do as much airbnb business! but maybe your women guests will pick up... In any case, be careful and good luck!
 

Misfit Toy

Senior Member
Messages
4,178
Location
USA
I am counting down the hours until my airbnb guest leaves. He is 70 years old and annoys the hell out of me for some reason. He's abrupt. He likes to hang out with me. I am used to guests who are here to do what they do and go away. They don't hang out, etc. We watched two episodes of The Crown last night and that was fine, but today I woke up and I do not want to interact. I am feeling run down and tired. I told him I don't feel well and I will be off to myself. He comes home from being with his 95 year old mother (she is in a home) and he says, "What do you do...stay in your room and do what? Sleep..just sit there." Are you kidding me? I explained I have an AI disease. I do not want to feel weird in my own house. He says I look vibrant and so young and too young to be sick. How many of us out there are sick of hearing that? A 70 year old man with no maladies who keeps functioning, drives down from Maine, sleeps on an air mattress. You lucky old duck. 5 am tomorrow, he is out..back to Maine. YIPPEE!

It bewilders me. HE says, there is no cure for what you have? I then say, "You see..this is why I don't date. I don't date because of this very reason." He then shakes his head like..."Yeah, I get it." ??????

I have to worry about a 70 year old man getting my condition?
 

Misfit Toy

Senior Member
Messages
4,178
Location
USA
I would clearly lay out the ground rules in your hosting description - be blunt but polite about it, but make sure there is no uncertainty (tell them you have a boyfriend, tell them you've had previous guests hit on you and you are not interested, whatever) that you are not interested in anything else but providing some tourist tips , --- then if you want to socialize, you have more control over that, it's not an expectation.

You think that I should say this on the airbnb site..my listing? I would like to know because yes, that needs to happen.
 

Misfit Toy

Senior Member
Messages
4,178
Location
USA
@JohnnyD -
how does this sound?

"I work from home and I am available if you need any questions answered. If I am not around, my cell phone is always on hand. For men who decide to stay at my space, please note that I am in a relationship and this is a business transaction of me hosting. I do not wish for flirting, anyone telling me I am attractive, or hanging out. I do my thing and you do yours. I have had many men stay here who are flirty and to be honest, strange. I will not tolerate that at all and I don't want to hear about your unhappy marriage, divorces or how you are unhappy in your current relationship. Feel free to stay with me if you need a place to sleep, shower, etc and some guidance with where to eat, but do not stay here with the thought that I am here for you to talk to (regularly) and hang out with. I work and as I said, have a boyfriend."
 

E.man

Senior Member
Messages
196
Location
Bega Valley , Australia
.......or make a point of providing a safe place for Women Only.
I realize it may limit guest numbers (in short term at least ) but it's a definite solution.
 

Misfit Toy

Senior Member
Messages
4,178
Location
USA
.......or make a point of providing a safe place for Women Only.
I realize it may limit guest numbers (in short term at least ) but it's a definite solution.

You re not allowed to do that. You can't do that on airbnb. You have to allow both sexes. No discrimination. I just posted about it on airbnb's site. They told me to put a photo of me and a man up as my main profile photo. Done!
 

Mary Poppins

75% Smurf
Messages
560
I am counting down the hours until my airbnb guest leaves. He is 70 years old and annoys the hell out of me for some reason. He's abrupt. He likes to hang out with me. I am used to guests who are here to do what they do and go away. They don't hang out, etc. We watched two episodes of The Crown last night and that was fine, but today I woke up and I do not want to interact. I am feeling run down and tired. I told him I don't feel well and I will be off to myself. He comes home from being with his 95 year old mother (she is in a home) and he says, "What do you do...stay in your room and do what? Sleep..just sit there." Are you kidding me? I explained I have an AI disease. I do not want to feel weird in my own house. He says I look vibrant and so young and too young to be sick. How many of us out there are sick of hearing that? A 70 year old man with no maladies who keeps functioning, drives down from Maine, sleeps on an air mattress. You lucky old duck. 5 am tomorrow, he is out..back to Maine. YIPPEE!

It bewilders me. HE says, there is no cure for what you have? I then say, "You see..this is why I don't date. I don't date because of this very reason." He then shakes his head like..."Yeah, I get it." ??????

I have to worry about a 70 year old man getting my condition?

I might be a grumpy old woman but what effing business is it of his what you do with your life?

And btw, old man, hell yes that's what I do. Now kindly piss off.
 

Gingergrrl

Senior Member
Messages
16,171
@Misfit Toy I have a lot of thoughts on this entire situation but am on the way to taking my dog to vet appt (am not driving!) and will reply later or by e-mail.

I agree w/everyone that your airbnb is a business and not a set up for married men to hit on you or think other benefits are attached. I am not even sure I feel comfortable with complete strangers staying overnight in your apt while you are sick or sleeping- Period. How are these people vetted (or is it similar to Craig's List)?

More later...
 

JohnnyD

Senior Member
Messages
206
Misfit Toy, your ground rules sound a little angry - I'd try to write it again after this last guest has been gone awhile! :)

But I agree with E.man, after thinking about your situation more, I would limit your guests to women only. Be the best host you can to women, get your Super Host status, and you won;t have any problem with shortage of guests.

This does not violate the new non-discrimination policy - read it again more carefully. Here is the applicable part of the policy:

"Decline to rent to a guest based on gender unless the host shares living spaces (for example, bathroom, kitchen, or common areas) with the guest."

Sounds like you can decline to rent based on Gender. I would put Females Only in several places of your description, and make it one of your rules, so the guys Can Not Miss it!
 

Misfit Toy

Senior Member
Messages
4,178
Location
USA
I have had good experiences for the most part. I have also had some men that clearly are not on the up and up. No one has touched me, etc. I had two men that were great. Both were happily monogamous. They all seem to have issues to be honest and what is also interesting is...I have a blow up mattress. Many of these people stay here that have money. Why? If you have a good job, why are you staying here? I wouldn't stay at a place with an air mattress, would you? My place is the least expensive place around because of that very reason and it's not a big space and there is no Tv in their room. They can watch TV in the LR if they like or on their computer.

Ginger, it's done on airbnb..the site. Everyone is legitimate..meaning, they are all verified, provide drivers ID's etc. I also make sure they have reviews from past experiences.

Here is another thing this guy said to me, "I have boundary issues." Why are you telling me this? he's telling me due to past women and wives, but why are you telling ME this. You are in my home. I may actually have a talk with him tonight. I need to tell him a few things. I am going to let him know that he is somewhat inappropriate and that he needs to know it for future airbnb experiences. And yes @Mary Poppins -it is none of his business if I stay in bed all day. NONE. This is my home, not his.

My only job that I am aware of is to provide a comfortable place for him to sleep and to make him feel comfortable as far as him having what he needs (toothpaste if needed) but anything after that...he is a big boy and on his own.
 
Last edited:

JohnnyD

Senior Member
Messages
206
Ginger, it's done on airbnb..the site. Everyone is legitimate..meaning, they are all verified, provide drivers ID's etc. I also make sure they have reviews from past experiences.

Very basic ID validation is done by aribnb, you are really on your own to screen your guests. I used to accept no newbies, but I hate to turn down newbies, so if they have no feedback record of staying at other airbnbs, I always engage them in an email exchange and make a judgement based on the exchange.
 

Misfit Toy

Senior Member
Messages
4,178
Location
USA
Very basic ID validation is done by aribnb, you are really on your own to screen your guests. I used to accept no newbies, but I hate to turn down newbies, so if they have no feedback record of staying at other airbnbs, I always engage them in an email exchange and make a judgement based on the exchange.

I have no idea how to get super host status. How is that done? I do this part time, not full time.