Guardian: How I learned to cope with chronic pain

[AndyPR]

In 2013, I contracted a virus that I thought was the flu. It ended up being dengue, sometimes referred to as “breakbone fever”. The nickname is a reference to the levels of pain some people experience when they are in dengue’s throes. I expected my symptoms to subside once the active infection went away. After all, friends who contracted dengue, sometimes multiple years in a row, seemed to return to a sense of normalcy. Instead, the joint pain remained, below the fever pitch of “breaking bones” but nowhere near my old self. For a long time I waited for that “old self” to materialize, and for the pain to recede. It took three years to finally surrender to my present and admit that the pain wasn’t going anywhere.
....
And finally, the most debilitating thing after the joint pain itself has been the fatigue. A deep, never-ending bone weariness that makes simple things seem like obstacles. And a restless sleep that does not provide respite from the haze of exhaustion.

https://www.theguardian.com/society...in-learning-to-cope-remedies-health?CMP=fb_gu

 

[valentinelynx]

Ah, I don't like to be negative. In fact it's not my intention. It's just that... I did all the stuff he mentions—20 years ago. Read the same books. Was pretty good (and diligent) with meditation. But now... I don't do it much anymore. I still believe those are great books, and great approaches. But, maybe it's because they take energy I don't have anymore? Or my brain is not working as well? Or, I'm just making excuses? I have not accepted that this is the best I'll be, but I do accept that this is the way I am.

But I feel guilty for not doing the "right stuff" to have a positive attitude that might be healing. I don't know how to turn myself around again.

 

[AndyPR]

Ah, I don't like to be negative. In fact it's not my intention. It's just that... I did all the stuff he mentions—20 years ago. Read the same books. Was pretty good (and diligent) with meditation. But now... I don't do it much anymore. I still believe those are great books, and great approaches. But, maybe it's because they take energy I don't have anymore? Or my brain is not working as well? Or, I'm just making excuses? I have not accepted that this is the best I'll be, but I do accept that this is the way I am.

But I feel guilty for not doing the "right stuff" to have a positive attitude that might be healing. I don't know how to turn myself around again.

My opinion? It sounds like you did all the right stuff and if that was going to cure you then it would have done. I too went through a period of thinking, if only I was more positive then I wouldn't be feeling this way, but when I saw extremely negative people with perfect health I realised that my positiveness, while a good thing for me to nurture, wasn't going to be thing that cures me. So, I now practise what I call realistic positivity - for the benefit of my mood and for the benefit of those around me I will be as positive as possible but shit also happens that I can't control, and no amount of happy will cure me of ME, so I'm, in a positive fashion, hoping that Ron can do that for me.