RivkaRivka
Senior Member
- Messages
- 368
Three Decades of Government Neglect Summarized in Five Minutes
Playful skit performed at the San Francisco MillionsMissing protest
By Rivka
== DECADE #1: The 1980s ==
PATIENT 1: Whoooa, what is happening? I am an average person attending school, working or traveling the world. Suddenly, after a flu-like illness, I'm really sick and never getting better. In fact, lots of people in my Lake Tahoe town in Nevada are sick too. Call the Centers for Disease Control!
PATIENT 2: Hey, the same thing is happening 3000 miles away on the other side other of the country, here in rural upstate New York. Call the Centers for Disease Control!
GOVERNMENT: Ta da! We are the Centers for Disease Control coming to the rescue! You can depend on us! Let's see (looking up, looking down). Nope. It's an over-reaction, probably made up, or an emotional imbalance. Move along now. (shoo shoo-ing imaginary people away) Nothing to see here.
PATIENT 1: Help, it's real. I'm too debilitated to work. I'm stuck in bed.
GOVERNMENT: Okay, okay, (sarcastic) so it's real. (laughing to themselves) Real enough to call it some kind of fatigue (finger quotes) "syndrome." How about "chronic fatigue syndrome!" With a name like that, everyone will take you seriously…. (pause) NOT!!! [AUDIENCE BOOS]
== DECADE #2: The 1990's ==
PATIENT: It's been ten long years. I've lost everything. My savings, my friends, my family. Help me, my government.
GOVERNMENT: Ta da! We are the National Institutes of Health coming to the rescue! You can depend on us. We know just what to do! We will fund some research that says… (thinking about it) It says…. (still thinking) It says you can't handle stress! That you are too scared to leave your home! That you have personality disorders! (feeling proud/accomplished because of their research) [AUDIENCE BOOS]
PATIENT: Why would you psychologize this illness?
GOVERNMENT: (Shrugs) That's the best way to make sure no one takes you seriously. This is how we deal with diseases we want to bury.
PATIENT: Please just do some legitimate research.
GOVERNMENT: Let's see. Calculating… Calculating… We have an National Institutes of Health budget of $30 billion. 30 billion! How about we give you… calculating… calculating… $5 million dollars a year. After all, translated into Washington DC terms $5 million dollars equals… a few pennies. So we'll dedicate a few pennies to your disease. Sound good? [AUDIENCE BOOS]
PATIENT: Help. My government has abandoned me.
== DECADE #3: The 2000's ==
PATIENT: It has been twenty long years. Nothing has changed. I'm still desperately sick.
GOVERNMENT: Wait! Ta da! Have no fear, we are the government and we have the answer. Wait till you hear this. Ready? Ready? (Triumphant) Graded exercise! You can get better with exercise! We imported that one from England (very proud of themselves). [AUDIENCE BOOS]
PATIENT: (rolls her eyes) I can't even walk to the mailbox. Will you please dedicate more money to research?
GOVERNMENT: No, you will still get only $5 million dollars per year. That's about the same amount we give Hay fever research, and your disease doesn't debilitate any more than hay fever, does it? Anyway, rest assured, we'll educate aaaaaaall the doctors of the whooooole country and tell them how graded exercise is a goooooood treatment for your disease. [AUDIENCE BOOS]
== THE FUTURE: HOPEFULLY REALLY REALLY SOON, LIKE THIS AFTERNOON ==
PATIENT: It has been 30 long years. I'm so sick. Three decades of my life lost to this disease.
GOVERNMENT: (serious for the first time) What? That is terrible. We now see how it is an abomination how we have treated you for three decades. We now see we need to dedicate $250 million dollars per year to this disease. We now see we have to improve our medical education so doctors will believe you are sick. We now see we have to make a serious commitment to urgently address Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.
We are sorry. You and all ME patients deserve an apology for our neglect and our attempts to sweep 1 to 2.5 million ME patients under the rug.
PATIENT: Finally! My government is acting the way it should: Taking care of its sick and disabled citizens.
ALL: High five!!!! [AUDIENCE CHEERS]
Playful skit performed at the San Francisco MillionsMissing protest
By Rivka
== DECADE #1: The 1980s ==
PATIENT 1: Whoooa, what is happening? I am an average person attending school, working or traveling the world. Suddenly, after a flu-like illness, I'm really sick and never getting better. In fact, lots of people in my Lake Tahoe town in Nevada are sick too. Call the Centers for Disease Control!
PATIENT 2: Hey, the same thing is happening 3000 miles away on the other side other of the country, here in rural upstate New York. Call the Centers for Disease Control!
GOVERNMENT: Ta da! We are the Centers for Disease Control coming to the rescue! You can depend on us! Let's see (looking up, looking down). Nope. It's an over-reaction, probably made up, or an emotional imbalance. Move along now. (shoo shoo-ing imaginary people away) Nothing to see here.
PATIENT 1: Help, it's real. I'm too debilitated to work. I'm stuck in bed.
GOVERNMENT: Okay, okay, (sarcastic) so it's real. (laughing to themselves) Real enough to call it some kind of fatigue (finger quotes) "syndrome." How about "chronic fatigue syndrome!" With a name like that, everyone will take you seriously…. (pause) NOT!!! [AUDIENCE BOOS]
== DECADE #2: The 1990's ==
PATIENT: It's been ten long years. I've lost everything. My savings, my friends, my family. Help me, my government.
GOVERNMENT: Ta da! We are the National Institutes of Health coming to the rescue! You can depend on us. We know just what to do! We will fund some research that says… (thinking about it) It says…. (still thinking) It says you can't handle stress! That you are too scared to leave your home! That you have personality disorders! (feeling proud/accomplished because of their research) [AUDIENCE BOOS]
PATIENT: Why would you psychologize this illness?
GOVERNMENT: (Shrugs) That's the best way to make sure no one takes you seriously. This is how we deal with diseases we want to bury.
PATIENT: Please just do some legitimate research.
GOVERNMENT: Let's see. Calculating… Calculating… We have an National Institutes of Health budget of $30 billion. 30 billion! How about we give you… calculating… calculating… $5 million dollars a year. After all, translated into Washington DC terms $5 million dollars equals… a few pennies. So we'll dedicate a few pennies to your disease. Sound good? [AUDIENCE BOOS]
PATIENT: Help. My government has abandoned me.
== DECADE #3: The 2000's ==
PATIENT: It has been twenty long years. Nothing has changed. I'm still desperately sick.
GOVERNMENT: Wait! Ta da! Have no fear, we are the government and we have the answer. Wait till you hear this. Ready? Ready? (Triumphant) Graded exercise! You can get better with exercise! We imported that one from England (very proud of themselves). [AUDIENCE BOOS]
PATIENT: (rolls her eyes) I can't even walk to the mailbox. Will you please dedicate more money to research?
GOVERNMENT: No, you will still get only $5 million dollars per year. That's about the same amount we give Hay fever research, and your disease doesn't debilitate any more than hay fever, does it? Anyway, rest assured, we'll educate aaaaaaall the doctors of the whooooole country and tell them how graded exercise is a goooooood treatment for your disease. [AUDIENCE BOOS]
== THE FUTURE: HOPEFULLY REALLY REALLY SOON, LIKE THIS AFTERNOON ==
PATIENT: It has been 30 long years. I'm so sick. Three decades of my life lost to this disease.
GOVERNMENT: (serious for the first time) What? That is terrible. We now see how it is an abomination how we have treated you for three decades. We now see we need to dedicate $250 million dollars per year to this disease. We now see we have to improve our medical education so doctors will believe you are sick. We now see we have to make a serious commitment to urgently address Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.
We are sorry. You and all ME patients deserve an apology for our neglect and our attempts to sweep 1 to 2.5 million ME patients under the rug.
PATIENT: Finally! My government is acting the way it should: Taking care of its sick and disabled citizens.
ALL: High five!!!! [AUDIENCE CHEERS]