Last competition I tried to get involved in (in the end facebook wouldnt let me vote anyway as after joining I couldnt sign in.. I still dont know why) lost my hotmail account (with all my friends there) due to joining facebook ON A DIFFERENT new account I created. I thought it wouldnt track me back to my hotmail account if I used another account to sign up on facebook on. When I then went to my hotmail after "TRYING" to access FB so I could vote.. my hotmail then come up wanting extra vertification that it was me and asking for a phone number when I did the normal thing and forgot my password (instead of coming up with the secret questions it usually does when one forgets password).. which I didnt want to give phone number.. so hence I ended up having to dump my hotmail account and hence then LOST ALL MY FRIENDS THERE and other important things in the process. I felt overwhelmed with the whole thing and not up to trying then to get the trackers off. The whole situation had me in tears.
I was so overwhelmed and upset over this situation that my boyfriend ended up having to open a new account for me as I wouldnt then use hotmail anymore and he had to find somewhere which didnt ask for phone numbers etc
After this experience.. Im now not trusting to do any competitions (my Aspergers black and white thinking has now kicked in over it. I trusted got bitten once so hence wont do it again).. pity my FB experience affected me in such a negative way (people here had been telling me it would be fine and just to join it not using my name or my normal email.. it took people here 2 years to be convinced it would be fine and yeah it wasnt at all fine with what then happened)..even more upsetting that even after it caused me all that issue.. I couldnt even get back into FB to vote so it was all for nothing.
I dont know if i was doing something wrong due to my brain or not.. I couldnt figure things out. (anything which causes me heavy thinking.. like faults my brain.. joining new accounts, thinking up passwords etc, doing new things... I find is hard on my head obviously to the point even thou I was trying hard to vote.. I still didnt manage it and just ended up very confused and still not knowing what i did wrong).
Im fine rapidly spilling words out onto a page here without thought .. just spitting out what is there at the surface of my thoughts (type faster then 60 words per minute) but if I pause and have to think.. it hurts my head and my thinking like faults up and then my stress level raises. (I dont expect those who dont have this issue to understand as I think its one which needs to be experienced to be understood). I literally go into confusion and then to pieces with thinking just having to open a new account.. sends me spiraling downhill.
. (Im also one who believes in the NWO stuff and think that one day all this info out there could actually end up getting certain people of certain religions, killing off the disabled etc etc killed.. Look what happened in Narxi Germany, look what happens in some countries even today with certain groups prosecuted or killed. I dont think humanity has changed.. it has a dark side (those who have ended up in genocide, I bet didnt think it would one day happen to them). I see humanities darkness a lot also in the shockenly bad treatment Ive had with the ME, lack of love and caring out there (bad treatment has let me with very little faith in humanity at all).. I think it is a HUGE danger for peoples info to be being collected online and followed from what sites you are involved in etc. I dont expect others to take on my beliefs but ask others to respect them and I know some others at this site carry the same beliefs so I hope they will be respected too even thou they may not vote. (not voting due to our beliefs OR just cause we cant due to our head space when trying to think (its like an exertional burn out symptom).. dont make us to be bad people and certainly dont mean that we dont care.
But I don't see why more people are not willing to take 30 seconds to a minute each day to vote for charities that are posted here
Sorry for the long post but I think some people believe that those who arent voting dont care..but that isnt always the case and I hope my post leads to more understanding of why some arent. I not only went againt my belief system (so I found that distressing in itself as I felt like it was putting me in danger and supporting something FB which I see as being so wrong) when I last tried to vote throu facebook but ended up due to my head not being able to vote anyway due to my brain.
Whole thing badly impacted me and I still regret trying to do it (I cried for days over loosing my hotmail over it and lost friends and important stuff in my email). It just all proved to me once again.. I need to focus on only doing the stuff I FEEL LIKE I CAN COPE WITH.. not thinking much stuff.. and not go by others telling me something is fine as they cant judge what it may do to me. Things they find not an issue could well be an issue to me.
Im still upset that I was stupid enough to listen to what others thought rather then what felt ok for me. (having trouble stopping raving on about it all as Im still upset over loosing my hotmail and friends over it. I was STUPID to trust others saying it would be fine ans still hurting as I did allow myself to trust those here with what they said and feel left down as the info for me was wrong.. I shouldnt tried it. I was put under pressure by people to vote .. made to feel guillty if I didnt and it all just backfired in my face and left me with issues Im still dealing with. Im still upset over it). Some of us are "fragile" due to this illness and others arent getting how hard some things are for our heads to handle.. and when my head gets affected.. I end up emotionally affected too. and I also feel STUPID as people here are saying all this voting stuff is easy..but with that other competition.. I was unable to figure it out thou I tried hard (as I said, I still dont know what I did wrong). What is easy for you.. may not be easy for another.. This whole thing caused me to like beat myself up physologically. I hate it when others are making me feel bad cause Im not up to doing something and I try and then fail (ive failed too many times due to the ME and now hate failure.. I usualy try to stick with things I know I should be okay doing which then helps boost the confidence this illness has taken away from me).
Im still shocked the FB tracked me to my normal hotmail account and then went and affected that with it then requiring me to give my phone number or not then being able to get in.. EVEN THOU i'd signed up to FB on a different account I opened just to do that.
hoping this post would make me feel beter over the issues I had with that other comp but sadly it hasnt. Im still angry and annoyed and upset at myself that I couldnt manage the vote thou I tried... and annoyed I listened to others instead of listening within to what I felt I could achieve without causing myself issues at the time. Trust your instincts with things.. if you feel like you arent capable of doing something I suggest not to try to force yourself to do it as you will have isues to deal with if it then backfires. .. and one just ends up with a further lack of confidence. (sighs.. I think I need to see my psych over how I feel about what occured with the last comp I tried to vote in and my emotions around the not llistening to my inner feelings and hence not respecting myself and what felt right to me.. should of not allowed others to influence me). Im too black and white and not managing to feel different over it.
I do thou really hope that those who use facebook and dont get overwhelmed with their heads when trying to do new things (open new accounts or whatever) vote thou. Ive been encouraging people to vote. I hope no one feels guilty or beats themselves up over not being able to vote. RESPECT YOURSELF