Rusy i just typed a reply then my computer had a brain fart
My first day off today and the first few hours were ok with the help of some new supps im trying but basically after that i just had that fatigue unmotivating feeling, i wanted to clean this dump up that i live in but just felt like i had nothin in the tank. the good thing i suppose was that i didnt feel bad just blaa. Generally the next day or so i can do a few things but i do very little really.
I dont really understand how i get through work but i manage but then when i get to days off i die in the arse. So i think i am probably really pushing myself through work and then days off come and my body shuts down and tries to rest. I think all the little things i am doing help me chug along like treating low dhea levels etc, sort of plugging all the holes as the come up, eventually im just going to be full of plugs and fall apart
. I have been going on with cfs now for 10 yrs and have 24 yrs and i can retire
, i dont think i will make it unless this next 5 months on valcyte really makes an impact.
Its definately an invisible illness. My work mates wouldnt pick it as im pretty easy going and jolly i guess(my sense of humor has probably helped me last this long), my actual work partner notices my brain farts as i ask people several times in the space of 5 minutes what their name is as well as leave equipment somewhere etc Let me say im not a danger to anyone in my job and have recently past a heap of assessments etc(with over 20yrs doing the same thing i should have a grip on it), when i need to go into paramedic mode im right but its all those in between moments when i dont need to be in paramedic mode my brain is like an old man with dementia:thumbdown:, not quite. i suppose it takes alot of energy to focus, even being kind to someone is draining. I am a people person and will chat to anyone but it drains me which is why i think when im on days off i like to keep to myself, sort of withdraw, probably a way to save energy.
Im dreading the day when enough is enough as like u mention rusty no one will understand, im just hoping its later rather then sooner. I only have a few more tricks up my sleeve i can try left.
cheers!!!