Thinking of My Mortal Coil...a Few Things

Blog entry posted by Runner5, May 16, 2018.

Hello CFS Posse!

Your girl her from the Oregon coast writing in letting you know how my health has been doing. Last week was more hospital testing and I picked up a superbug from the little country hospital on the ocean where everything is jammed together, old people, influenza kids, strep throated moms, new babies and broken legs -- hey just mix it up, what could go wrong? So me the non-infected person caught the bug.

But before the bug what did I learn from all the tests?

First that I have the start of heart disease and that 3 out of 4 of my heart valves don't close properly. I also found out that for my age and in America that's pretty normal. WUT? Normal? Yikes.

Secondly I found out my Uterus is like an old worn out intertube, large, lumpy, full of tumors and just needs cast out into hades. I'm okay with that. It's also causing my GI symptoms and bladder issues. So as soon as I can say goodbye to that mess - heeeey-o! yes.

Part II SuperBug

I caught a nasty Influenza from the hospital. But they're under strict orders: NO ANTIBIOTICS. I always get lung and sinus infections on top of flu. Always. For like 40 years I've had antibiotics every year. This is the first year I gave that a thought....wow that's kinda abnormal...isn't it? I mean, mother nature would have killed my butt a long time ago without antibiotics. My grandmother never even caught a cold.

So no antibiotics. none.

At first they said "it's just allergies" but that night I spiked a temp of 104 and Tylenol was nothing - nothing was fighting that darn fever down. It got high enough I was throwing up (I just do that with high fevers, thinking that's normal).

24 hours in: So next morning I call into my personal doctor, "can I have antibiotics now?" noope but she wanted to see me.

They drew some blood, gave me a script for cough medicine and sent me home.

48 hours in: Holy crap your CBC was AWFUL. OMG. Get to the hospital now, take this ton of blood tests. They took like almost 2 cups of blood from me including 'blood culturing' which was pretty novel, they are going to see if my blood 'grows anything' in their incubator. Dang! Also have chest x-rays that were normal.

Still only have cough syrup. Can I get antibiotics? NO!!!

Assigned EKG and a CAT scan of my lungs.

No antibiotics in sight.

So what alarmed them, apparently my blood counts were way off, but I don't know how to read my blood work, so I'll ask her to explain it when I can actually think. But I do know that as a runner my resting heart rate is around 52bpm but at the Doctors office that day completely sedate and drowsy and out of it -- it was 100bpm. I hadn't had caffeine or anything to raise it, just weird. Also my blood pressure that had been a cool 108 / 70 was then 140/70. Anyway, I don't know if that is worrisome but struck me as rather odd.

Part III Exercise

I think in my last entry people thought I regretted a somewhat rigid diet and exercising. Oh no, not at all. And Saturday I worked in my garden a bit and went for a walk. I do try to get in exercise as much as I can because when I don't I tend to hurt all over like I've been beaten with bags of rocks. I don't know if that is fibro or arthritis but I get stiff and as my grandpa would say, "stoved up". So moving around really helps with my pain and keeps me strong enough to do what little I do.

Also, moving is fun. I just like to move.

You know what I want to take up? Zumba.

I would love to dance to music. I have no energy for that at the moment (God bless this mess) but hope to get to that in the future along with many other things.

Part IV If I Get The Chance...

So right now they're testing me for scary stuff and are being really evasive and not commenting much on some things... that's uh...that's not good.

I've had to take it on the nose. I might not make it out of this one. I mean we all get our ticket stamped eventually. I might get hit by a bus sooner than fall down to illness. But maybe this is the final bell, but at least maybe I get to know I'm close. So if you know you might be close to checking out forever and chucking off the mortal coil - grim as it is - then what?

There are three impressions I want to leave on my kids and people that I know.

First: Spread some sunshine around. Life is a lot more fragile and scarce and quicker than I ever imagined possible. Things I used to rush after, worry about, obsess about ended up not being important. I work a lot on what energy I bring with me into conversations now. I think about what can I give when I interact with people. I try to spread some sunshine around because that's what I want to endure.

Second: Love your body and move your body in ways it likes to move. Celebrate that, get to know yourself. (I'm a big fan of Yoga with Adriene on Youtube - her gentle episodes, and meditation with Headspace - check those out!)

Third: An entire large pizza from Dominoes isn't a suggested servings size nor is an entire carton of ice cream - just a heads up on that. In my family, our servings sizes are straight up STUPID. Not just that but the kind of foods we ate. And my family formed a coalition to get me to buy the stupid food (We won't like you and won't play nice if you don't feed us what we want!) I woke up one morning and realized how idiotic the situation was and just put my foot down, dug my hills in and fixed those fellow idiots a big green salad. Booya.

I won't ever quite win, but when I'm long dead I want to haunt their waking moments with, "Mom would totally hate this meal" heck yeah I would hate it. Here is a recipe for veggies from beyond the grave....

(the Thug Kitchen cookbooks are great vegan eats, even if you're omnivorous upping your cool vegetable cooking game never hurts, you'll have the best side items going!)

("How do you eat Vegan if you're actually fatigued!!" -- I nuke frozen veggies, open a can, or throw crap into my slow cooker or the rice cooker or throw greens into a bowl with some quinoa for a salad)

IF I GET THE CHANCE....

If I recover and don't like - die this year - well, I want to just live more of life. Not YOLO, cause -- heck no, not bungee jumping. I don't want to travel. I never longed to see the world (sounds exhausting), no cold water surfing or adventurous dining.

I would like to have more good conversations with people. Get to know people and talk. Get out into the sunshine. Read more books. Listen to music. Grow my garden and talk to other people growing gardens. I would like to learn that Zumba thing, maybe ride a bike.

I would love to go back to running if I ever get that healthy again. I want to clean my house. I want to clean out the fish bowl every week AND paint pictures of life and flowers. I dream of teaching my granddaughter a love or running and how to do it adventure style - like me.

I want to make people smile.

Anyway -- that's the novel from here friends. ;-P Eat those greens, shake that booty, smile and spread some sunshine.
  1. Runner5
    @Shakota -- maybe a cruise - sit back, relax and eat the foodz? I've never been on a cruise though ;-P They might be just terrible! I think if I went to Europe I would come back 100lbs heavier as I eat my way through the culture like Andrew Zimmern from Bizzare Foods show :-D
  2. Shakota
    Great post, Runner 5. I searched for posts on travel because it's been more than 4 years since my last trip (a first world problem, I know). I have fibro and mild CFS/ME, a 40% of normal functioning.

    I want to go to Europe but i can decide where and why to go and if I want to endure all the hours on the plane, etc.
    I just can't muster the enthusiasm, the motivation. My cat sitter calls me with travel tips (like please shut up already).

    I tend to get almost manic by the time I arrive back in the States from a 2-3wk. trip. Sensory overload. Plus I've developed knee arthritis and have to keep my walking to less than a mile per day or else it's horrible.

    I'd like to stop obsessing. I guess if I can't figure out a plan, the time's not right? It's like I'm bored at home and that's good because I'm pacing, but boredom is not my forte, so I need to make myself break out of my shell. i'd be going it alone as usual, which is ok.
    Runner5 likes this.