....It was a 3-week "remission", apparently.
But it's okay. I am trying to be positive though am disillusioned again today. Three weeks is the best there's been yet. I can only hope another one of these remissions will come and maybe that one will be the same -or longer? Dare I hope?
Busy weekend and family visiting. I felt just fine. I thought -wow if I can cope with all of this and not feel rough and be okay even though I didn't get the full 8 hours sleep a couple of nights, yet can wake up fresh as a daisy and feel okay....then surely I have to be getting better?
Uh-oh....it doesn't work that way. Monday my visitor went home. Got 9 hours sleep Sunday night. Monday night I slept well and soundly, and woke up feeling like I wanted more sleep. Then the eye twinges started, and a terrible leaden-legs weariness, and wanting to cry again over nothing, and heart palpitations, and not able to focus or something (for want of a better word) on anything I was interested in or like dearly. Like half of me isn't present.
It seems this is PEM. It's def. "malaise" and not just "I had a busy weekend and I need an early night".
Rollercoaster ride -eh? I am disappointed in the return of symptoms. Many of the same symptoms which came suddenly on day one -March 27th. Especially as I had been feeling quite good over this last 3 weeks, 99.99% my normal self. And had been doing a lot of physical things too which didn't hurt me!
It seems to make no sense that one weekend of a very pleasant family visit can crash me when 3 weeks of working on firewood in hot weather did me no harm!
Sorry everyone because I know many have it tons worse than I do. But hope is dashed -yet again.
This isn't a pity/self pity thing as much as a feeling I can't escape whatever the heck this nasty thing is. I guess you all feel that. And the surreal situation is it makes you believe you HAVE got out of its clutches, for weeks before it comes back at you again.
It hasn't gone away
Blog entry posted by Wolfcub, Jul 31, 2018.