A Cup Half Full

Blog entry posted by stridor, Apr 4, 2017.

I made the most out of 2014 and the lion's share of 2015. I had a lot of projects on the go at work. There was downsizing and staff shuffles and the group of co-workers that had given me all the problems was scattered to the winds.

My bosses were pleased with me and I took on the unofficial role of being "Lead of the Team Leads". My unit clerk (who was my right-hand) and I made a lot of changes that would be adopted through the program. Trust me, it wasn't hard to improve how things were done around there.

I was regaining the trust and respect of my co-workers and let me just say something about this: you can spend 20 years build a reputation and it can all be torn down in 3 or 4 months. People have bad memories and I suspect that it is troop behaviour that those who are sick, or different will be shunned or even driven out. The health of the troop being at stake.

Only a couple of people stuck with me through this shit storm and I can only assume that at least some of them did not share my confidence that someday things would get better. If you are reading this then there is likely little I can teach you about the fickleness of people.

So, back to 2014-2015. I was partially recovered and my brain fog was down to about 20% of what it was in 2011. Memory was still shaky but I had coping mechanisms. I was able to get a few things done with the gardens which had been unattended for years. I still could not use the workshop to any degree.

The dentist said that my enamel was eroding so I cut back on the sublingual B12 without noticing any changes.

One of the questions that I was trying to answer (and still am) is how much energy was I supposed to have. I was never "normal" I lived a Bipolar life with either "too much" energy or not enough.

I suspected that I should have more though and in March of 2015 I had testing done for stealth infections. Know what? This deserves its own chapter.

About the Author

I carried a heavy mercury burden for decades. I won the fight against Bipolar Disorder and am winning the fight against CFS and histamine issues. I did not escape unscathed however and will carry the scars of my exposure to mercury for the rest of my life. I share my story knowing that few walk my path. I hope however that some of the ideas and approaches that I used to emerge from the shadows 90+% recovered will be helpful to others. My life was salvaged by Dr Google and the kindness of strangers, just like you.