It gets easier

I realise that I am used to staying at home now. I don't desire so much to leave the house. I've adjusted to not going out every day. My expectations have changed, so I don't get upset about this as easily as I used to.

Not going out of the house for two days seemed awful, a couple of years ago. Now, it's normal to not go out for 3 or 4 days. I'm at peace with it. Even if it's 5 or 6 days, it doesn't seem as bad.

My symptoms, too, don't bother me as much as they used to. I'm used to them. I don't fight it - at least mostly. And I know, as long as I stay within my limits, I won't feel too bad.

It was infuriating for me to hear repeatedly that experience helps with this illness, when I was at the beginning of it. But now I think I've got enough experience of it to help me make better decisions. Obsessive logging didn't help me find patterns. Instead, FEELING it has helped me find patterns. This takes longer. I don't know if there are any shortcuts.

I'm happier now, 2 years in, than I was at the beginning. I've settled in for the ride.

Comments

Yes I think we learn to adapt to new routines and new ways, and some of them are not so unpleasant. I now allow myself to ( I have to!) rest, but it was hard to get myself to adapt to doing that. But in my rest time I listen to music and never gave myself time to do that before. There IS something enjoyable about it even if I don't feel too great.
I've also tried to find patterns through noting data, and don't really find them. But as you say, FEELING helps definitely.
Kind thoughts, lior :)
 

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