Hi Elephant: I found myself here this morning and I very much rather appreciated your efforts to deal with: Colin.

At times, I third party this illness. Viewing it in third person, viewing it as the body is doing this or that but that is just the body, not "Me". It seems to help me get out of the victim chair. And if you step over into astrology, you even get to decide you CHOSE this, we chose the outfit and stage upon which we now dance and perform. We do this to grow and learn. So something about all this we chose: for a REASON.

A system I have been working with asks that: I not seek the cause of this misfortune, that I do not put blame on anything. And I find this very difficult, as we perennially seek to figure out: whats wrong.

This morning, I am not attending a meeting I was invited to, something I desired to do, yet just cannot face 50 people chattering in a room, oblivious to FogLand.
I cannot psychology face the physical irrelevance that has overtaken my life.

Activities of the ego, we are told to leave outside the door. Is this illness not, in many ways, the complete surrender of ego that so many claim to seek? Are we not almost Buddhas?

So I will converse, myself today, with Colin. And nice drawings BTW. Very nice emotional release, there.

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