Wait a minute, now those recent calls from ex don't seem so innocent after all.

A little bit back I got 2 phone calls from ex after not having communicated with her for a couple years.
Not hearing from her was fine by me.
there was one call then couple days later another call.
On the surface at the time the calls seemed mostly innocent.

First call she said she looked my current number up because she really was wanting to remember name of a table top game we had enjoyed playing with my parents when we went to visit them.
I had changed home phone company and number both since the last time we'd had contact.
Also asked how I and my parents were doing and mentioned a couple other things.
I told a sort of Cliff Notes version of my last year or so.
She did likewise.
Then we said goodbye.

A couple days later ...

She called to let me know she had found my name and address on a website our state's government maintains for listings of unrecovered property and there was a notice that I had unrecovered property worth 50 dollars or more.
I said that was interesting but they clearly have my mailing address, they can contact me themselves if this is true.
A minute or two more and call ended, I was exhausted and was not interested in talking more.

But now ...

Wait a minute, now those recent calls from ex don't seem so innocent after all.

Some of the content comes back to mind ...
Her asking who was this woman whose name appeared on list of people who might know the person whose number you are seeking, was it someone I had a relationship with?
Why does she need to know that?
Her commentary that she had been staying with her first husband, which I knew was the case a couple years ago, until recently when he had taken her to court to get her out of his house.
That is interesting but none of my business since she hasn't been my wife for years.

And then the big question came to me, what the effing hell was she doing with that unclaimed property in my name thing?
Is this on the verge of becoming cyberstalking or what?
Since with my health the mess it is I'm not on social media, that's not going to be easy to do.

I don't know what she wants but I sure don't want her.

The memory of her mocking me while I was having the health collapse which began my CFS/ME journey about 15 years ago is still quite vivid -
when I asked her to quit making fun of me her response was to get in my face and wave her finger under my nose with "I'll use ridicule on you whenever I want to. I'll keep using ridicule. And you'll just learn to live with it!"

I have no desire to reestablish communication with her.


I'm so sorry you have to deal with such an abusive person, I experienced something similar myself, I wish that leaving her behind has brought you some peace. This thing she said, in an ideal world, she should actually be made legally accountable for: "I'll use ridicule on you whenever I want to. I'll keep using ridicule. And you'll just learn to live with it!" That's psychological torture, no matter how you look at it.
I remember that once we went with my ex to watch a great movie "Cloud Atlas". It's the kind of movie I love, a Science Fiction movie with great visuals, great music, philosophical themes, a story spanning hundreds of years... perfect for me. One would think that if you asked me what was the most memorable part of the movie I'll mention some scene related to those themes, but no. There's a short, comic relief scene, with nearly no importance for the plot, where a character, fed up with being mistreated, says: "I won't tolerate psychological abuse". That's the most memorable thing from the movie for me. When I heard that, It was the first time I realized there was something wrong in my life with this woman, that all the aggression, violence and humilliation wasn't something normal that any man should endure but was actually abuse... I felt I was just like that man... but I couldn't say what he said on screen for 6 years more, sadly. I'm better now, however, it's surpringsing to what degree it's possible to repair our own minds and bodies some times. In the end, I ended speaking about myself, which made me feel relieved, bu the thing is, I know what you have been trough, and I can asure you you didn't deserve it, no one does. I think, that, as it is with ME/CFS, domestic abuse of men is a hidden epidemic, and help is nowhere in sight, sadly
Oh my gosh, yes, this is too weird (in my opinion) It's one thing an ex friending you on Facebook or something, but quite another thing that even though you have changed phone number and phone company, she has researched how to find your number.
I can completely see why you need to move on.

I wonder if you could call your phone company? They may have a department where someone can advise about "nuisance calls", and what to do to avoid them.
They may even be able to give you a new unlisted number perhaps?
even though you have changed phone number
I do want to say the phone change was totally independent of whether she even existed or not - it was all about money. AT&T had gone up to about $80 a month for home phone service and my SSD is currently $11 a month below the poverty level according to Health and Human Services, was about the same when change was made a couple years ago. Home phone landline could be added to my cable internet for $20 a month. Downside was that it goes out during electric utility power outages, but, hey, that $80 was totally unsustainable, to use a popular word.
Note that I don't have cable TV, just cable internet, don't have any TV service at all.
If one wonders why I had phone and internet with different companies, your question is your answer; but eventually poverty overruled my keep your eggs in different baskets policy.
domestic abuse of men is a hidden epidemic, and help is nowhere in sight, sadly
Sadly, I think you are correct. The pendulum has swung back to the opposite extreme. No one, male or female, should be abused that way.

@southwestforests, trust yourself. These calls sound suspicious. I suppose you could always block her number. Maybe she would get the message that you are done with that part of your life.

I think this is the link to AT&T's phone calling features and star codes user guide: https://www.att.com/support/article/u-verse-voice/KM1000459

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