I am flat on my back again.....soooo tired. After 23yr with cfs will I ever get used to these total wipe outs:Retro mad: well at least I can be thank full for the fact that I am not bedridden anymore. I asked myself what happened, why the crash....maybe because I had to take another verbal abuse session from my husband.
He's always sorry afterwards, the 10340 so sorry......I had to hear in the 23 years we're together and 21yr marriage . Then again I can be thank full that at least he says he's sorry...suppose there is always something to be thank full for
maybe now I can get that robotic vacuum....so I don't have to ask my friend or pay my daughter's boyfriend to vacuum the carpets now and then.
Sigh....soooo wiped....my life is like someone walking on this path full of obstacles with everybody I know and don't know throwing junk at me, just to make it more difficult, more painful, more tiring.....how on earth did I make it this far...there is just one answer do that, with the strength and help from God period.My life is plainly hell with a bit of hope here and there just to keep me going...day by day....hour by hour.
What now,I ask myself....eat right,rest, rest, rest.....yes sure, I have a 8 yr old son with reading and spelling problems....sooo lazy, as much as I love him he drains my last bit of energy, moaning moaning moaning, don't want to do his homework, don't eat this and don't eat that, always bored "what can I do, there is nothing to do" lol, at least one of his three wishes will be that his mom gets her health and energy back.
Aaaa yes!!! another one I can be thank full for, very very thank full.....my 16 almost 17yr old daughter calmed down...there is a child I can write a book about, some days I sat with my hair in my hands just crying not knowing how to handle her. The other day I bought her a little fairy ornament, it made me think of something she draw when she was younger....well she broke it apart because I grounded her...why did I ground her because she almost bashed the car window out, just because I did not want to drive back to fetch her mascara, just one little story out of many.
All my life I took abuse from many directions, and by no means am I a "sucker for suffering" it is just "my life", while many others I know cruise trough life, I had to overcome one obstacle after another and did it got easier over the years, by no means just more intense in fact so intense that I start to feel the "light at the end of the tunnel" because I took as much as I can 10 years ago already, but tomorrow I will drag myself out of bed, get my son ready (with trouble) take the two of them to school and the rest...clean the house a bit, rest......hang some clothes....rest, on and on, that's "my life" and I know I am not the only one on this lonely road of suffering.
He's always sorry afterwards, the 10340 so sorry......I had to hear in the 23 years we're together and 21yr marriage . Then again I can be thank full that at least he says he's sorry...suppose there is always something to be thank full for
maybe now I can get that robotic vacuum....so I don't have to ask my friend or pay my daughter's boyfriend to vacuum the carpets now and then.Sigh....soooo wiped....my life is like someone walking on this path full of obstacles with everybody I know and don't know throwing junk at me, just to make it more difficult, more painful, more tiring.....how on earth did I make it this far...there is just one answer do that, with the strength and help from God period.My life is plainly hell with a bit of hope here and there just to keep me going...day by day....hour by hour.
What now,I ask myself....eat right,rest, rest, rest.....yes sure, I have a 8 yr old son with reading and spelling problems....sooo lazy, as much as I love him he drains my last bit of energy, moaning moaning moaning, don't want to do his homework, don't eat this and don't eat that, always bored "what can I do, there is nothing to do" lol, at least one of his three wishes will be that his mom gets her health and energy back.
Aaaa yes!!! another one I can be thank full for, very very thank full.....my 16 almost 17yr old daughter calmed down...there is a child I can write a book about, some days I sat with my hair in my hands just crying not knowing how to handle her. The other day I bought her a little fairy ornament, it made me think of something she draw when she was younger....well she broke it apart because I grounded her...why did I ground her because she almost bashed the car window out, just because I did not want to drive back to fetch her mascara, just one little story out of many.
All my life I took abuse from many directions, and by no means am I a "sucker for suffering" it is just "my life", while many others I know cruise trough life, I had to overcome one obstacle after another and did it got easier over the years, by no means just more intense in fact so intense that I start to feel the "light at the end of the tunnel" because I took as much as I can 10 years ago already, but tomorrow I will drag myself out of bed, get my son ready (with trouble) take the two of them to school and the rest...clean the house a bit, rest......hang some clothes....rest, on and on, that's "my life" and I know I am not the only one on this lonely road of suffering.
