<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
ffice:smarttags" /><st1:date Month="2" Day="13" Year="2010">The 13<SUP>th</SUP> of February, 2010</st1:date> is the first day of the Rest Of My life.:victory:<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o>
<o></o>
Well,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,<o></o>
<o></o>
Im waiting.<o></o>
<o></o>
Did someone speak?<o></o>
<o></o>
Whats on the agenda ?<o></o>
<o></o>
Its a Saturday, the day you catch a bus to the fresh food market. The same as you do every Saturday, but this time its different.<o></o>
<o></o>
On the 13<SUP>th</SUP> February, you cannot spend whatever you like.<o></o>
<o></o>
There is no payday on the 15<SUP>th</SUP> of every month. There is no, eat like a rich man today & for next couple of weeks (& eat like a pauper the week before pay day).<o></o>
<o></o>
What money is paid into your bank account on <st1:date Month="2" Day="12" Year="2010">the 12<SUP>th</SUP> of February, 2010</st1:date>, has to last for weeks, months in fact it has to last for too long.
<o></o>
Too long? What does that mean?<o></o>
<o></o>
Does it mean forever? :worried:<o></o>
<o></o>
Not quite. Itll be a while before you have access to some more money, so make it last as long as you possibly can. A voice inside my head spoke.<o></o>
<o></o>
So what do you buy when you have to budget?<o></o>
<o></o>
Whats a budget? I said to myself. Ive never budgeted in my whole life. I am 56 years old & have never budgeted. All I ever did was..in my youth, I worked my guts out at however many jobs I could handle, & then went overseas & had a bloody good time.<o></o>
<o></o>
After that part of my life, I got a secure & sensible job, paid my rent & bills on payday (always once a month, unfortunately) & lived on what was left always too little to paint the town red!- so I painted the town (Melbourne & surrounding inner suburbs) a delicate shade of vermillion.
Vermillion is a combination of late nights (or should I say early mornings?), alcohol, multi-tasking at the office accounts, late nights, alcohol, strong black coffee to multi-task at the office, late nights AND early mornings, alcohol..no wonder I was slim, trim, taunt & terrific in my youth, I never had time to just be or slowed down enough to catch any passing dollops of fat that rolled along on the side of the road.<o></o>
<o></o>
In recent years, I paid my rent & bills on payday (always once a month, unfortunately) & lived on what was left. Every time a medical bill came up, I used my credit card. Medical bills had come up too many times in the last 15 years or so.<o></o>
<o></o>
So what did I do?<o></o>
<o></o>
In recent years, I paid my rent & bills & credit cards on payday (always once a month, unfortunately) & lived on what was left. Every time a medical bill came up, I used my credit card.<o></o>
<o>
And so onGet the drift.<o></o>
<o></o>
Now it was time to settle the debts.Uhmmmmmm.@&%#@?>. <o></o>
<o></o>
The financial debts were big enough, but I had enough money in my superannuation (retirement) fund to clear those.<o></o>
<o></o>
The real debts were a number of medical files with 1,000,001 medical records & a mediocre life of chronic pain, fatigue & other debilitating symptoms.<o></o>
<o></o>
So, the 13<SUP>th</SUP> February & for everyday in the next few months, I was going to just be<o></o>
<o></o>
That is, I was going to get out of bed, shuffle into the bathroom, look into the mirror & see a blurred outline of the possibilities of where just be-ing was going to lead me.<o></o>
<o></o>
The joy & exhilaration of not knowing what each new day was going to bring, was going to be the most wonderous experience of my life.:victory:
<o></o>
The only trouble with this be-ing was that I was not really well enough to enjoy the fullness of the word :sofa:.
<o></o>
I was very, very stiff, in pain (constantly despite what face I presented to the world) & nearly always fatigued. I was forgetful, confused & often just plain blundered about like the newly blind without the white cane or guide dog. I couldn't hear that well (or, was it also a case of didn't want to hear?). And walking, even a wee bit too fast, left my heart pounding, chest pain & shooting pains down & around my left shoulder.
Sitting too long or too low down, left me hunched over like the Hunchback of Notre Dame - I needed to draw breath & slowly, inch by inch, straighten up & then proceed to where ever I was going.
My eyesight was decidedly poor (at best) & downright blurred & wonky - like looking through a fish eye lense at worst.
I needed a hit of caffeine just to walk out the door. I needed the constant lure of payday to keep me afloat. And I needed a mixture of analgesics & alternative remedies to keep me rowing the oars so to speak.
The fact that the ocean was deep, dark & forbidding was irrelevant in the past. I cant swim. In fact, I cant even dogpaddle. What would I do without my floaties (payday) supporting me & keeping me afloat. <o></o>
<o></o>
Would I drown?<o></o>
<o></o>
Or would I grab a passing lifebuoy & start madly, frantically, kicking for the distant shoreline desperate to reach shallow waters?<o></o>
<o></o>
Or would I turn over, float on my back & just be. <o></o>
<o></o>
</o>
ffice:smarttags" /><st1:date Month="2" Day="13" Year="2010">The 13<SUP>th</SUP> of February, 2010</st1:date> is the first day of the Rest Of My life.:victory:<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o></o><o
></o>Well,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,<o
></o><o
></o>Im waiting.
<o></o><o
></o>Did someone speak?<o
></o><o
></o>Whats on the agenda ?<o
></o><o
></o>Its a Saturday, the day you catch a bus to the fresh food market. The same as you do every Saturday, but this time its different.<o
></o><o
></o>On the 13<SUP>th</SUP> February, you cannot spend whatever you like.<o
></o><o
></o>There is no payday on the 15<SUP>th</SUP> of every month. There is no, eat like a rich man today & for next couple of weeks (& eat like a pauper the week before pay day).<o
></o><o
></o>What money is paid into your bank account on <st1:date Month="2" Day="12" Year="2010">the 12<SUP>th</SUP> of February, 2010</st1:date>, has to last for weeks, months in fact it has to last for too long.
<o
></o>Too long? What does that mean?
<o></o><o
></o>Does it mean forever? :worried:<o
></o><o
></o>Not quite. Itll be a while before you have access to some more money, so make it last as long as you possibly can. A voice inside my head spoke.<o
></o><o
></o>So what do you buy when you have to budget?<o
></o><o
></o>Whats a budget? I said to myself. Ive never budgeted in my whole life. I am 56 years old & have never budgeted. All I ever did was..in my youth, I worked my guts out at however many jobs I could handle, & then went overseas & had a bloody good time.<o
></o><o
></o>After that part of my life, I got a secure & sensible job, paid my rent & bills on payday (always once a month, unfortunately) & lived on what was left always too little to paint the town red!- so I painted the town (Melbourne & surrounding inner suburbs) a delicate shade of vermillion.
Vermillion is a combination of late nights (or should I say early mornings?), alcohol, multi-tasking at the office accounts, late nights, alcohol, strong black coffee to multi-task at the office, late nights AND early mornings, alcohol..no wonder I was slim, trim, taunt & terrific in my youth, I never had time to just be or slowed down enough to catch any passing dollops of fat that rolled along on the side of the road.<o
></o><o
></o>In recent years, I paid my rent & bills on payday (always once a month, unfortunately) & lived on what was left. Every time a medical bill came up, I used my credit card. Medical bills had come up too many times in the last 15 years or so.<o
></o><o
></o>So what did I do?<o
></o><o
></o>In recent years, I paid my rent & bills & credit cards on payday (always once a month, unfortunately) & lived on what was left. Every time a medical bill came up, I used my credit card.<o
></o><o
>And so onGet the drift.<o
></o><o
></o>Now it was time to settle the debts.Uhmmmmmm.@&%#@?>. <o
></o><o
></o>The financial debts were big enough, but I had enough money in my superannuation (retirement) fund to clear those.<o
></o><o
></o>The real debts were a number of medical files with 1,000,001 medical records & a mediocre life of chronic pain, fatigue & other debilitating symptoms.<o
></o><o
></o>So, the 13<SUP>th</SUP> February & for everyday in the next few months, I was going to just be<o
></o><o
></o>That is, I was going to get out of bed, shuffle into the bathroom, look into the mirror & see a blurred outline of the possibilities of where just be-ing was going to lead me.<o
></o><o
></o>The joy & exhilaration of not knowing what each new day was going to bring, was going to be the most wonderous experience of my life.:victory:
<o
></o>The only trouble with this be-ing was that I was not really well enough to enjoy the fullness of the word :sofa:.
<o
></o>I was very, very stiff, in pain (constantly despite what face I presented to the world) & nearly always fatigued. I was forgetful, confused & often just plain blundered about like the newly blind without the white cane or guide dog. I couldn't hear that well (or, was it also a case of didn't want to hear?). And walking, even a wee bit too fast, left my heart pounding, chest pain & shooting pains down & around my left shoulder.
Sitting too long or too low down, left me hunched over like the Hunchback of Notre Dame - I needed to draw breath & slowly, inch by inch, straighten up & then proceed to where ever I was going.
My eyesight was decidedly poor (at best) & downright blurred & wonky - like looking through a fish eye lense at worst.
I needed a hit of caffeine just to walk out the door. I needed the constant lure of payday to keep me afloat. And I needed a mixture of analgesics & alternative remedies to keep me rowing the oars so to speak.
The fact that the ocean was deep, dark & forbidding was irrelevant in the past. I cant swim. In fact, I cant even dogpaddle. What would I do without my floaties (payday) supporting me & keeping me afloat. <o
></o><o
></o>Would I drown?<o
></o><o
></o>Or would I grab a passing lifebuoy & start madly, frantically, kicking for the distant shoreline desperate to reach shallow waters?<o
></o><o
></o>Or would I turn over, float on my back & just be. <o
></o><o
></o></o
>
