The Truth Will Out

In May, Dr Fred Hui had me try TMG and SAMe. These are components of the methylation pathway. I still have no clue why he started me with these two rather than folate and B12, but it may have been related to my story about my tongue swelling up.

I developed the worst soul-sucking depression and trust me all my years of Bipolar left me well-acquainted with depression. This one was bad. And the suspicion and borderline paranoia that used to be part of my Bipolar picture was back.

I was so immersed in my symptoms that I was incapable of even the most basic cause and effect processing and took the SAMe for longer than made sense. But finally, depressed and fogged, I did quit.

A couple of days later it finally happened. This isn't exactly a highlight of my career and it was a horrible day filled with bad memories. We had to do a ward search for drugs and because of this I missed supper. My blood sugar was low and I was tired from doing a ward search. It would be nothing for me to do today but back then it was strenuous.

At this time, there was a medical emergency. A patient had food lodged in his esophagus and instead of taking a drink or something, he just kept eating. He was in real distress.

I took the patient into the treatment room to wait for the Dr. There was no where to sit and I was in big trouble. I was entering a full Orthostatic Intolerance attack. I could only concentrate on how I was going to be able to sit down. My mind fogged in.

From the patients perspective he was well cared for. I helped him to clear his saliva and gave him a lot of reassurance and kept him calm while we awaited a surgeon. But from a nursing perspective there were no vital signs done which is pretty basic stuff.

There was my answer. In a medical emergency my training would not take over. I could not trust myself to perform at any level approaching excellence if I had to stand for more that a few short minutes. Most medical emergencies do not include opportunities to sit.

I reported myself to the hospital as unsafe to practice. In the next entry, I go into being let go from work. Writing this blog has been difficult, all sorts of emotions are dragged up and none are good.


There are no comments to display.

Blog entry information

Last update

More entries in User Blogs

More entries from stridor