The Spitfire Gazette!

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Oh, what to rant about! I had my 3rd shot 3 weeks ago. I am not feeling so hot. This last period knocked me for a loop. Let me describe that; its like being pregnant, I suppose. Eating everything in sight. Not being able to stop eating. Binging. That was how this last period was. I was starving. A heavy period. Exhaustion after the agitation. Then, no appetite and fatigue. What must that be doing to my blood sugar?

Suddenly I have gone downhill. Although, not quite as bad as in the spring. But, I have a yeast infection and herpes fever blisters throughout my mouth. A month ago, I could eat whatever with no ill results, now everything causes bloating and gut pain. I called my doctor and he said I had overdone it, which is not surprising. I basically dove into a Haagen Dazs ice cream container and didnt come out for 4 days out of a week. One needs to know, I havent had ice cream in 13 years, so I went a bit nuts. Eating pound cake, meatballs, ice cream and whatever I wanted. Now, my gut aches, and I am tired. I overdid it. I thought these allergy peptide shots would clear that up, but I am now being told I am only allowed one thing a week that I can have that has been off limits. My immune system needs to heal after years of dysregulation. I was eating several "naughty" things a day!

I am now on Valtrex and Diflucan. Yippee.

The good news is, I dont feel like a mental mess. I feel ok that way. For an entire year, I cried everyday. I dont anymore. So, it has fixed that. That is why I feel this thing that we have is bigger than XMRV, then mold, then pigeonholing it onto one It is a defect in our immune systems that allows these viruses, bacteria to take hold, but if we were built right, if we had the immune system that was up to snuff, we wouldnt be sick. Its not as easy as taking this pill, or following that regime that makes it all better. We need to fix the basic core problem. And its bigger than most of us are aware of. Because I have been sick for so long, to me its not one virus or thing that is causing this. Its a jacked up immune system, with a major endocrine component, coupled with then being unable to detox.

The Thinker

I just wish I was not the thinker. The one who thinks about all of this and by nighttime, I am having a hard time concentrating because I am anxious. I am juggling several plates. Several theories. A job and I do it alone. I am strong, that much I know.

I bought a blackberry. Its an interesting device. I can set it so I receive no email or I can set it so I do. If I am tired, I turn that aspect of it off. I do it through my computer. I have not wanted to buy this gadget due to the brain fog, but I knew I had to for the business. I have been selected from several artists to be in different juried events this fall. I am anxious. I was happy at first. Now, I am worried. I am not well. Will I be able to handle it? I talked to a business coach. I am on the fence about that. Its a lot of work and she is not cheap. At the end of the day, all of her great advice might be of no good if I am sick. I explained how ill I am to her though. She is willing to do a partial trade. She thinks that I can go further with this business even with being sick. I just need some help; in other words, an employee part time. Also, a rep who can go to the West Coast with my jewelry. I need to figure out pricing.

I have an event this Saturday outdoors. I thought I was going to take off all summer and just deal with being ill but honestly, I am totally bored. I can't sit idle with this illness. I know I am lucky to be able to say that but honestly, being driven is freaking tiring and yet, would I really have it any other way?

I just want to scoop ice cream again. Thats what I want to do for a job. Make people hot fudge sundaes. Go home with no worries. Take the tips out of the Styrofoam cup and go home. I did that at age 15 and I thought I was living the high life. I went home from my summer in New Hampshire (that is where we went for the summer) and I bought myself clothes and a leather bomber jacket. I thought I was all that and a bag of chips.

The reason I cant do that though, is because I would end up eating all of the ice cream and really become sick! Cant win, I tell ya.


Just a thought, maybe try one of the non milk dairy things, like the ones with a rice base or even just the lactaid frozen ice cream? Might help.

We all pig out once in awhile, and then we totally regret it :D But sometimes you just have to.
Hi Spitfire,

Carrigon is right. There is goat milk ice cream- Laloos is the brand. I especially like chocolate, it's rich and creamy. You can also make your own ice cream from rice milk, almond milk, soy milk or goat milk- and it's not bad, and NO PAIN! I just went to the health food store with my mom, and they had Almond Dream Praline Crunch (Almond Dream is new) and it was GREAT! Better than Rice Dream ice cream by far! I can also recommend the Soy Ice Cream- but the Purely Decadent brand is the best I have found- Peanut Butter Zig Zag is my favorite. Here's a link with other flavors.

Give your immune system a chance to catch up, but don't deprive yourself of ice cream until then.

Goat milk is very tolerable if you are allergic to cow milk. There is also goat cheese and butter. You can buy it online here I recommend them because other goat cheeses frequently make me sick since they use Dairy (cow) culture to culture the cheese.

I have been allergic to dairy for 13 years too and it sucks, but I still eat ice cream, even if I have to make my own!
The best ice cream is actually Coconut Bliss from coconut milk. Chocolate peanut butter. But here's the problem; because I have not been able to eat this kind of food in so long, I binge. It's bizarre. I can't keep it in my apartment. I eat an entire pint in one sitting. I have gained like 15 pounds. LOL. It's the sugar that gets me. I think that is the cause of my yeast infection; the sugar.

Purely Decadent is awesome aepalisades. I love the coconut Purely Decadent or is it SO Decadent? Not sure, but that stuff is like crack to me.

I am all about anything with peanut butter or caramel. SO GOOD!!
Nice to hear I'm not the only one who pigs out, although I think you beat me this time. If there's one thing I've learnt though - overdoing the naughty food bigtime means heavy repercussions.

I'm sorry that those repercussions were heavy duty for you, but glad to hear the brain fog is absent.

Bach Rescue Remedy should be your Best Friend through this time of anxiety.
I love pistachio. I had chocolate peanut butter. Also, mocha chocolate. YUM. I also had soft serve vanilla with fudge. THAT WAS THE BEST. Gosh, now I am craving it all over again!
Something that might at least somewhat fill the gap: lactose free whey protein, flavoured with stevia. I get the vanilla flavour. You could ice that and drink it. It's great for the blood sugar. If you add extra stevia it could be pretty sweet. I make crepes with gluten free four and stevia and they taste good. If you can have soy you could mix it with soy yogurt. I get sick of everything I eat having to taste salty and undessert-like so the stevia whey is excellent for me.
Purely Decadent is awesome aepalisades. I love the coconut Purely Decadent or is it SO Decadent? Not sure, but that stuff is like crack to me.
ROTFL! I've tried several of the non-dairy "ice creams" and I recognize this brand as one of the good ones (see for all the great stuff they make). I actually can't buy one flavor, Turtle Trails, because I know that I will eat the entire carton. Any other flavor I can scoop out a serving and put the rest in the freezer. A small carton (one pint, not quite 1/2 liter) will generally last me a week, no problem. But that one flavor is definitely like "crack" for me! :D

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