The PAIN of Christmas

I'm already in severe screaming agony, and tomorrow, I have to be at a dinner with friends and then they want me to go over to one of their houses after that. And I just want to die. I don't know how I'm gonna do it. I feel like I wish I could cancel Christmas because the pain is NOT worth it. I'll go for the dinner, but I might have to say no to the visiting. I think the dinner with the crowd of loud people is gonna kill me off. I used to love Christmas and visiting. Now, it's like painful horror from hell :(:(:( and I can't take my pain meds cause I'll fall asleep on them all.


I understand - I'm seriously dreading tomorrow as well (and the next several days) even though in my case only moderate pain is involved (amongst other things)

Christmas is however one of the few social occassiosn where fallling asleep intermitently is almost expected - or is that just a British thing?

So I would suggest you take the painkillers and just goto the dinner - thats my plan anyway.

Merry Christmas (and I hope it isnt too horiffic)
Hi Carrigon,

I used to feel the same way you are -- that I HAD to go to various invites, especially during the holidays. That is until I became so sick that I could not go (for the past 3 years).

As much as you feel you have to go, you really don't have to. My only advice is to don't worry about what others may think, and above all don't feel guilty. If your body is screaming for you to stay home and rest, then please, stay home and rest, and take care of yourself as best you can.

Sure, it's lonely staying at home. But it's quiet, and it's much, much less stressful, much more healing...and your body will thank you for listening to it.

Just my two cents. :)


I have to agree with Dan,

Learning how to say no (like I did last Christmas, having just had surgery 4 days before) is the best thing one can do for oneself.

This year, I asked for help with shopping, made Christmas Day (today) small, quiet & simple & asked my 2 guests to bring certain food items. Tomorrow, simple lunch with a friend (using today's leftovers) & the coming days I'll see how I feel & what turns up.

Learning how to take care of yourself, means learning when to say Yes, when to say No (& EVEN, when to say "Maybe - can I let you know on the day?").

You need to take care of yourself.

If your friends and/or family can't be flexible & mindful of your needs and the intermittent nature of pain & symptoms, then that's their problem, not yours.

Never feel guilty.
It was my stupid idea to go to this dinner. I was afraid I'd get depressed sitting home alone on Xmas. But if I had kept my mouth shut, my friend wouldn't have pushed to go with me. Next year, I should just not say anything. This kind of socializing kills me. I used to love parties and holidays and going places. And getting all dressed up. Now, I'm just in too much pain, way too much pain. I'm better off staying home. But my friend is making a special trip to take me out and I don't want to cancel. But the truth is, it's too hard on me. Really, way too hard. The pain isn't worth it, and it will put me down for who knows how many days this time.
I went. But we just went for the meal and came home, thank God. No long visiting afterward. The meal was nice, a hot turkey dinner with mashed potatoes and carrots. It was just nice to be out with people on the holiday. But I was feeling it with the loud crowds, the noise, the lights. Owwww. But I'm still glad I went. I will be feeling it for a few days. I would not have made it for the visiting. No way. So now I will attempt to rest, a lot.
So glad to hear your friend was ok to make it a short outing so you could be happy you went. And, mmmm, a real meal. Enjoy your rest and memories of a bright moment.

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