Well what a mess I am today! Basically anxiety is going at about 80mph all day.
Now I am wired and can't sleep. It's 4am and I am deeply tired but feel no peace. I even did a "peace" breathing meditation but none of that can get through this iron-hard feeling that's going on. It's beyond what breathing can do.
I got a copy of the initial report the neurologist sent to my GP this morning.
The funny thing was it had obviously been in my outside mailbox over the weekend, during the storm, and snails taking refuge in there....had eaten holes all over it!
I never knew snails found medical reports tasty.
I have to find something to laugh about.
The neuro's report said he suspected late onset migrainous-type phenomena. This is a huge red flag for him apparently. Anyone my age developing migraine-like symptoms for the first time (or so he interpreted my symptom description) -is suspected to have serious neurological disease. That can be stroke/TIA/intracranial bleed/brain aneurysm/tumour etc. But it is usually BAD.
So I await the call to go for head CT.
I am still more than anxious -not only about any possible long term effects of the CT dye and radiation (I am super sensitive to pharmaceuticals....not technically "allergic", they just make me ill. Very ill sometimes.)
I know most people sail through this, and no reactions. I don't know how I will be with it. I dread it making me even more unwell.
It is like a black cloud over me to be honest.
Meanwhile I had started to feel WAY better all this last week. The tiny insignificant head/eye twinges were hardly ever there at all. No shakiness, no weirdness, even the exhaustion was much much less. Sleeping well. Not too bad at all.
I had made an appointment to see a Homoeopath.
Now some people might think that is just rubbish, but I have responded well to homoeopathy twice in the past.
I almost cancelled, and that says a lot about how I was feeling better. But thought I'd hold on to the appointment in case I was just having yet another brief remission.
The neuro's letter really affected me and made me feel bad....scared (I hardly ever feel scared) ....pushed....upset....a bit hopeless again....sick to my stomach....overwhelmed....anxious and all the rest of it.
It rained on my parade. Let's put it that way.
So when I went to the homoeopath it was a 2 hour consultation. The room was old and beautiful with wood and stone walls but cold and I started shaking again. He was a nice guy and in a way it was great to be given the time to give a full description of how things are, instead of those awful 10 or 20 minute NHS consultations where woe betide if you forget anything because they will never be noted down.
After 2 hours I could see that guy had no idea what was going on with me. He listened, wrote notes, asked the right questions, was thorough, considerate, and all, but he was baffled.
I told him he had time to think all he liked about what to do, then get back in touch with me when he was ready, and if he honestly couldn't figure it out I didn't blame him (but please could I have half my consultation fee back??) Laugh out loud. I did. So did he.
He said he'd never had such a complicated case to try to help.
Kudos to the guy. He even agreed to cut the consultation fee if he didn't get any inspiration.
So between the Neurologist, and the Homoeopath...it seems I am between the devil and the deep blue sea.
Meanwhile Mother Nature may be at least letting me have another mini (?)-remission???
Now that's what I call Girl Power.
Now I am wired and can't sleep. It's 4am and I am deeply tired but feel no peace. I even did a "peace" breathing meditation but none of that can get through this iron-hard feeling that's going on. It's beyond what breathing can do.
I got a copy of the initial report the neurologist sent to my GP this morning.
The funny thing was it had obviously been in my outside mailbox over the weekend, during the storm, and snails taking refuge in there....had eaten holes all over it!
I never knew snails found medical reports tasty.
I have to find something to laugh about.
The neuro's report said he suspected late onset migrainous-type phenomena. This is a huge red flag for him apparently. Anyone my age developing migraine-like symptoms for the first time (or so he interpreted my symptom description) -is suspected to have serious neurological disease. That can be stroke/TIA/intracranial bleed/brain aneurysm/tumour etc. But it is usually BAD.
So I await the call to go for head CT.
I am still more than anxious -not only about any possible long term effects of the CT dye and radiation (I am super sensitive to pharmaceuticals....not technically "allergic", they just make me ill. Very ill sometimes.)
I know most people sail through this, and no reactions. I don't know how I will be with it. I dread it making me even more unwell.
It is like a black cloud over me to be honest.
Meanwhile I had started to feel WAY better all this last week. The tiny insignificant head/eye twinges were hardly ever there at all. No shakiness, no weirdness, even the exhaustion was much much less. Sleeping well. Not too bad at all.
I had made an appointment to see a Homoeopath.
Now some people might think that is just rubbish, but I have responded well to homoeopathy twice in the past.
I almost cancelled, and that says a lot about how I was feeling better. But thought I'd hold on to the appointment in case I was just having yet another brief remission.
The neuro's letter really affected me and made me feel bad....scared (I hardly ever feel scared) ....pushed....upset....a bit hopeless again....sick to my stomach....overwhelmed....anxious and all the rest of it.
It rained on my parade. Let's put it that way.
So when I went to the homoeopath it was a 2 hour consultation. The room was old and beautiful with wood and stone walls but cold and I started shaking again. He was a nice guy and in a way it was great to be given the time to give a full description of how things are, instead of those awful 10 or 20 minute NHS consultations where woe betide if you forget anything because they will never be noted down.
After 2 hours I could see that guy had no idea what was going on with me. He listened, wrote notes, asked the right questions, was thorough, considerate, and all, but he was baffled.
I told him he had time to think all he liked about what to do, then get back in touch with me when he was ready, and if he honestly couldn't figure it out I didn't blame him (but please could I have half my consultation fee back??) Laugh out loud. I did. So did he.
He said he'd never had such a complicated case to try to help.
Kudos to the guy. He even agreed to cut the consultation fee if he didn't get any inspiration.
So between the Neurologist, and the Homoeopath...it seems I am between the devil and the deep blue sea.
Meanwhile Mother Nature may be at least letting me have another mini (?)-remission???
Now that's what I call Girl Power.