The Miracle of CBT

Recent advances in CBT have led to a remarkable series of stories from those whose life has changed.
We hear from one gentleman who talks about how his life was changed the day he met the enigma that is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.


Hi my name is Wayne. My baldness began when I was born, and gradually got worse. By the time I was twenty one I was known as cueball colin, or ''Wayne as he likes to be known''.

The pub regulars used to throw snooker balls, ping pong balls, and coconuts at my bald pate with a view to bouncing off my head and landing in a beer barrel, whereupon an effusion of laughter would throng the ambiance like a fart in a phonebox.

One chap,not content with indulging in an orgy of merriment at my expense, began to train with an intensity befitting of an athlete only weeks away from an Olympic games. He even used to chalk my head before launching a pomegranate from across the room.

The final straw came when the barman decided it was his turn and threw a chicken vindaloo.
I decided enough was enough, being a baldie wasn’t for me, and I left the pub just as a chappati hit the back of my head.

But then it all changed. I had my first session of CBT and within just thirty seconds my hair started to grow back. After five minutes we had to stop the session because I could no longer see the therapist. Had the busty therapist turned off the light ? ( thought i’d got lucky ) No, I was now the only white Rastafarian in Brixton.

After a thirty minute session, my hair was three feet long, and had to be turbanised. I was now the only white Rastafarian Sikh in Brixton.


And it’s not just hair loss, they have a range of therapies tailored for a wide range of issues.
For example my friend, ‘’two second Eddie’’ is no longer two second Eddie, but ‘’ love you long time Eddie’’.
He didn’t get that medallion taking antidepressants. He didn’t get to attract the opposite sex by taking more paracetamol. He didn’t get a larger love tool by taking Viagra painkillers.........

Go on what are you waiting for ?

Wayne Kerr

Who are those who lurk in the shadows, those that say very little when they could do very much; those that hear the truth but cannot listen. Those that have the power to change everything overnight, but choose to stand back and watch the earth turn ten thousand times and more.

Perhaps the real miracle is that Peter PACE White et al have managed to keep us under water for over twenty five years. But I have to ask, why did so many influential people, ordinarily good human beings, stay so silent for so long.
I shouted as loud as I could, but it was never as loud as their deafening silence.

Mark

Comments

haha.. thanks that was funny. Did you write that yourself?

lol I felt so sorry for the bald guy too. That almost had me convinced that being bald could be far worst then having ME/CFS.

"Magnificent news but i not only need more hair but lose weight, more muscle, stronger, sleep better, increase my sexual endurance as well as fix my cfs/me, so its going to take atleast 4 x 30min sessions of CBT to accomplish this."

No heapsreal.. all you need is to see the actual master of CBT Dr Sir Simon Wessely and he'll probably be able to fix you all up in one session as he's the miracle man of CBT and apparently has helped many according to what I heard in the media. He can help you even fly to the moon if that is your wish.
 
Some say...his CBT is soo powerful that he is a danger to the human race. He could blow up the Earth with his mind if he so wished!
 

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