The Great Bell Chant

Well, i've been meaning to write this this week and today is fitting since Thich Nhat Hanh transitioned today.

I have felt a bit of the suffering and sadness in the world this week. I am sure many of you can relate. These times we are living in are so epic and take a new level to remain grounded at times through them.

One of my best friends, that is one of my only caregivers, landed in a psych ward this past week. Her difficult journey with lyme became a bit too much for her and she thank goodness survived an attempted escape from this world. My heart has been deeply saddened by this. She came into my world...to Indiana...from California in 2016. We had lost touch for years. She went to a class of mine with old friends. We reconnected. I spoke about how i had mostly recovered and was doing so much better (even though terrible things were happening again i was mostly hiding from people to try to tough through things as i desperately tried treatment after treatment). Then, when my world stopped in February 2017...she came...over and over again. She saw i wasn't being cared for. She saw i was falling. She saw i had no food made. Sh saw i needed clean bedding. She held my hand, wiped my tears and arranged a massive volunteer network for me and my children that first year. She is absolutely my angel. In all my hospitalizations that angel would show up and hold my hand for times. She would brush my hair as i couldn't. She saw my husband was completely uninvolved mostly and i was alone and on my own. She took me to ER's in the middle of the night when things increasingly became very very bad and my body shook for days and days and i could no longer lift my head... she advocated for me with the uninformed nurses when they said you can get rid of lyme disease. She fought so hard for me.

I really wish i could have fought harder for her. I've seen her slide down for so long. I invited her for a bed dance party a month ago and she did finally accept. She smiled and we had fun and laughed lots. It was short lived for her. I bought her a workbook on depression...but it overwhelmed her. I'm in such a near constant state of crisis that it can be hard for me to alwayd identify when that moment is that i should have reached out more. But i know its not about how i could have helped her. I know it comes from within her. Still, God i love that woman and i really wish i could hold her hand right now...like she did me so many times. I wish i could break her out of the psych ward which is no place for a lyme disease patient. I wish. Send her some love if you feel it tonight. Shes a pretty special person to me. To the world. Thanks friends.

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long
Anytime she's goes away

Wonder this time where she's gone
Wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away..."



To close with, i would like to share the Great Bell Chant (The End of Suffering) by Thich Nhat Hahn
If you feel called, i will be doing it tonight, so join me please by simply closing your eyes and listening.


Comments

So much sad news in such a tight and concise post.

I didn't know that Thich Nhat Hahn had moved along to the next incarnation. Another bulwark gone.

Your friend and caregiver sounds like a remarkably kind and decent human being. Is there anything that we can do to help? Like maybe sending cards and letters, not just to let her know that there are people who care, but, more to the point, to let her 'caregivers' in the psych ward know that there are eyes on them, observing and evaluating their care of your friend.

Lemme know, yes?

EDIT .... grievous typo. Irritating. Gone now.
 
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A good friend is better than a lot of things in this world and so many take relationships like that for granted. It is good you had that experience with her. Most people are afraid of just how little of our lives we are actually in control of, and how much of it is controlled by the actions of others. People like to feel they have full control, all the time, but that is a fantasy. We do the best we can at any given moment, try not to take things in our lives for granted and embrace all experience as best as we are able. We may not be able to control everything that happens in our time here, but we can do our best to control what perspective we take during the experience.
I can only hope her time in the ward is short, and your time together helps her through her present circumstances.
 
So much sad news in such a tight and concise post.

I didn't know that Thich Nhat Hahn had moved along to his next incarnation. Another bulwark gone.

Your friend and caregiver sounds like a remarkably kind and decent human being. Is there anything that we can do to help? Like maybe sending cards and letters, not just to let her know that there are people who care, but, more to the point, to let her 'caregivers' in the psych ward know that there are eyes on them, observing and evaluating their care of your friend.

Lemme know, yes?
Thank you Yippee. Really kind of you.
Yes, we are truly grateful to have experienced Thich Nhat Hahn in this lifetime. What a blessing to humanity, to Earth.

I actually got to finally speak to her tonight. She is home now. It was rough in there but shes ok.
 
A good friend is better than a lot of things in this world and so many take relationships like that for granted. It is good you had that experience with her. Most people are afraid of just how little of our lives we are actually in control of, and how much of it is controlled by the actions of others. People like to feel they have full control, all the time, but that is a fantasy. We do the best we can at any given moment, try not to take things in our lives for granted and embrace all experience as best as we are able. We may not be able to control everything that happens in our time here, but we can do our best to control what perspective we take during the experience.
I can only hope her time in the ward is short, and your time together helps her through her present circumstances.
Thanks Wolf. I appreciate your words.
Honestly, friendships have truly, so many times, helped carry me through this illness. I don't have words to describe my gratitude for these friendships.
Really true about control. One of the keys to understanding how to live a life wit less suffering on this planet. She just got home. I got to cry and laugh with her tonight. It was tough in there but shes okayish.
 
I actually got to finally speak to her tonight. She is home now. It was rough in there but shes ok.
Oh, I'm so relieved @Sunshine .... very little good comes out of psych wards. Ive often wondered why they exist, other than warehousing people the system doesnt know what to do with and the smaller population of the truly dangerously insane. Oh. And anybody that pisses off a Dr enough. Or at all.


I'm really glad she's home, safe and sound :woot::woot::woot::woot: :thumbsup:, and I know that must be an emotional load off of you to know that she's out of danger :hug: ...
 
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To have someone you can laugh and cry with is a wonderful experience. The very essence of friendship or a loving family.

I'm glad she's now home and hope she learned some coping techniques, although that's not easy on the first go-around. At the very least, she would have been hooked up with a therapist and attention paid to her and her problems. Some people take on the suffering of others and it's a vicious cycle for them. Others do absolutely nothing for themselves or anyone else. Why is that, I wonder?

I'm glad she's home....you know that she's safe and sleeping in her own bed tonight. Let's hope she keeps moving forward as she sounds like a real jewel. Yours Lenora.
 

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