The Evil That People Do

I had a huge blowout with my uncle over this disease tonight. Alot of things. It was bad. But tonight, I finally saw the light of what he's doing.

He is insisting that there is no disease and that I'm just that "fat, lazy relative who doesn't want to work" because he doesn't want to continue helping me financially. So by putting it all on me and making it that I am choosing not to work or go to school, that absolves him of any responsibility to help me at all. He just fully ignores anything I say that I've been on disability for twenty years for a REAL physical disease. And he insists that I work or go to school. Nothing I have ever said changes his tune. I have given him and his wife all kinds of articles and info on CFIDS/ME over the years. My mother once even sent them a video on it, but they refused to watch it. I have fully described in great detail the symptoms of this disease and my level of disability from it. None of it makes any impression at all.

Tonight, he let slip again how if he continues to help me, it will be forever. He can well afford it, he just doesn't want to do it. But instead of coming out and saying that, he just keeps insisting I'm faking my illness for twenty years and therefore, I won't help myself. It's just a nasty and evil thing to do. He's known for his manipulations and such. He does the same to his own daughter.

I think this whole money issue is at the root of why so many people refuse to believe us. It's not that they refuse to believe, it's that they are using it as a smokescreen. No one wants to pay for treatments for us, therefore, we have to be crazy, they need us to be crazy.

The psychiatric lobby just wants to make money off us, so they will always insist we're crazy.

No one wants to help us at all, so it's easier to say we're insane and put it all onto us. Or insist we're faking it. It puts it on us. So they can justify anything they want to justify. And until there is a real blood test to stop this practice, they will all continue to do so. Until we have vindication in the news, and this disease takes its rightful place in the general public's perceptions as a REAL physically disabling disease, we will continue to be abused by everyone.

I saw the light, it's too bad my relatives and other people can't. But I know what they are doing now and the why of it.

This whole blow out came about because I've been worse since I moved, and that has led to me doing worse financially. The move devastated me physically and financially. I did not come out and ask my uncle for money, I only told them how bad I was doing. And the response I got was, we can't continue to help you because "you're that fat, lazy relative who doesn't want to work", and unless you go to school or get a job and "prove to us" that you are trying to do something with your life, we won't help you. Real nice, isn't it? Telling someone who has been on disability for twenty years and is steadily getting worse now, to go do things she can't do.

I'm just so sick of them doing this to me. And they will no doubt twist everything I've said again and keep insisting that I'm mentally ill. That's what they do. When I describe the symptoms, they tell me it's a form of mental illness. They just keep trying to force it all on me. I'm supposed to prove I'm physically sick, but no amount of "proof" is taken seriously.

I'll probably end up losing my car this year, as they will not help me again. But I am resigned to letting God deal with them. And I'll have to find a way to get by with the curb to curb busing. They said alot of cruel things to me. Really designed to hurt. So, I guess this was the end of the relative relationship tonight because I'm not going to take it anymore.

Comments

Hi Carrigon, I understand your frustration with your relatives, as I have relatives like that. Last time they said something negative I explained to them in no uncertain terms just what the issues are, and why their suggestions are STUPID, and I used that word. They haven't called me back again, for which I am happy - no more stress from that source.

I really wish we could get neuro-immune communities going, where our neighbours understand our problems. I always hope people will learn, but so few ever do.

I hope things improve for you Carrigon. Moving house is very hard, its been six years and I have not fully recovered from the last move. Take it easy, recognize that its your right to say NO, and rest as you have to. At least on these forums you will be understood.

Best wishes,
Alex
 
Thanks, Alex. It's just sad people are so cruel and that we end up having to cut ties with them.
 
Sorry Carrigon. It's not fare and can hurt very much when a relative doesn't seem to care. Hope you can recover from your move and get back some stability soon.

Take care.
Mark
 
Carrigon, it is his loss. I don't think the universe rewards that type of behavior on his part. People ultimately hear what they want to hear and do what they want to do. This shows what he really wants. If he was a caring person he would be learning about ME/CFS, in order to find a way to help you, and maybe help you improve your health and get back on your feet at least part-way.

What I would do with a relative like this... I would insist that he google 'Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' and read the first 10 websites listed, and see if he can find ANY evidence that CFS is a disease of malingering. If he would read that much (which he probably would not, proving his motives), he could no longer make that type of accusation. Just did that google myself, the descriptions on the first dozen links are pretty straight-forward, pretty persuasive about the seriousness of this illness.
 
He refuses to even learn about his own daughter's problems. She has OCD and ADD and he refuses to read about them and insists she can control it, when she can't. He's a sadistic sociopath with his own agenda. I'm hoping he leaves me be now, as I haven't heard anything more in awhile. And I'm better off without the toxicity.
 

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