The Battles Choose You / Noise Ordinance / Almost Doctoring

October 5th, 2021

TV Battle

In case you missed it, I was given a flat screen television to utilize for my pleasure.. by an unknown somebody. And Jeff (my roommate) subsequently erupted like a volcano. Not like the current one in Las Palmas, but something more akin to a Strombolian Eruption. Something massive. Mount Pinatubo? Was that the one? 1991-ish, I seem to recall.

As it stands, I believe Jeff's behavior is passive aggressive. But I'm too lazy to look up specifics on that one. And according to FIFA, I'm not allowed to disclose pertinent details regarding the patient in question. Nor am I allowed by the FAA governing body. Remember, they've got that black box thing going on. Or was that Carl Jung? Or perhaps less likely, "The Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains.

Give It Away

So now they are considering an alternate option, giving Jeff the blasted flat screen.. a thing that won't be watched all that often (by me) anyway. Although, I am wanting to watch future Phoenix Suns basketball games. And maybe the Cardinals. An occasional distraction. Yet athletics essentially do not matter in real life. But sometimes my life isn't all that real.

In any case, this watching would be a "visuals only" experience. Perhaps utilizing closed captioning for the hearing impaired.

My reasons for being impaired are altogether different than anybody and everybody else's. With exceptions, of course. Some of you are out there riding this same plane of non-existence as I.

Out of the Blues and into the Black Night

"I used to be a plain clothes officer.
But now I'm a sergeant at arms length.
Hold me close.
Hold me Titanic!"

Those were made up lyrics. But at any given point in time, all lyrics are "made up" - So there you go.

Battle for a Commode

It took 24 hours, but I was finally officially able to secure a bedside commode. Portable Style. But now (after 12 long hours of holding it) I no longer need to go. So there's that. There's also the fact that there are no rubber grippers to hold the darned thing in place. Basically, the Commode Skates like Dorothy Hamill!

*ice skating reference - See also: new reality show on NBC. Or Peacock.

So still I wait. Perhaps tomorrow.

And they do seem to be very low on supplies here, across the board (luckily I brought many of my own). Even so, they were finally able to secure applesauce for me. Somebody knew somebody who knew somebody else who had a brother-in-law. Then Nurse Tina delivered. Now I can ingest my daily probiotics.

Update: 1717 hours

Acquiring any type of rubber grippers, or anything else that would affix itself to the bottom of the commode are no longer a possibility, because the day shift has now gone home. So I've got to hold it again, until tomorrow. Although hell, I just may just chance it anyway ... this sensation is just getting more and more uncomfortable.

Noise v. Noise

Wow. No one would believe, but get this, I've taken to signing! You know, sign language. But I only know three signing words. Two of which are user-unfriendly.

And I just had a guy in here flashing gang signs at me for a good long five minutes, before he realized I can only give him the universal Thumbs Up in response. Why only up? Because if you give them the thumbs down they automatically inspect your genitals. And heck, nobody wants that!

Barnyard Animals

So this old dude.. let's call him Jeff, plays some sort of video game where these cows moo at incredible volume. Total end to end reverberation. Other barnyard animals make noises, too. If they don't moo, they do rooster kinds of shit. Or chickens. Admittedly, I'm not all that familiar with barnyard animals. Yes, I watched and read Animal Farm, billions of years ago, but it didn't quite stick.

Skin Care Specialist Helps, Organizes

Let's get redundant here. A blonde woman with blonde hair enters the room. She sorts through my box of formula feeding supplies, places them where I indicate. Then vacates the premises.

I didn't hear a word she said (over the deafening roar that is my roommate), but apparently, I hear lips. Or read mouths.

Covid-19 Rewind

They never swabbed me for covid-19 prior to entering this locked down facility. And that leads me to believe many things. None of them good.

Medical Talk

The physical therapist hung out with me for a spell. And she was fascinated by my undiagnosed illness status, and the funky way my muscles nearly cease functioning following any direct stimulation.

So, she promised she'll investigate further. Seemed invested, perplexed, the usual, etc. But really, I just need her to sign off, promote, or support any and all potential referrals.

Her body language and physical actions seem to support the words out of her mouth. Her eyes were especially trained on me.. every movement, every gesture.

Later, the Physician's Assistant visited, and she too said the right things. But she also had one plastic baggy foot out the door, so I had to find ways to entice her, make her want to buy-in. However, she was devoid of all emotion. She was mentally elsewhere, far and away.

*I can totally tell when someone is into me, or into what I am saying. Of course it took decades to learn how to recognize the clues, to learn how to assemble them properly.

Surprises at 8 o'clock

Jeff was ill earlier, and I helped out. Lunch made him violently ill, so I shouted down a nurse because no one was responding. No big deal. But then later, the nurse didn't know why his heart rate was elevated, and I explained his vomiting/likely dehydration (he's not hydrating either).

Later I asked him how he was doing, and then he kept talking to me. So I put my tablet aside, as he kept saying things with his mouth. And then……. he suggested we watch Monday Night Football together. I didn't really want to, but I figured - male bonding, right?

And we watched and interacted and I said football things and he did, too. And now, I think I wore him out. He's been quiet, and sometimes quietly groaning, ever since.

Emotional Toll

I'm kind of wondering what's going on at home. But I probably shouldn't go there.

Okay. I officially miss my wife tonight. I am sad. I want to talk to her. Just conversation. Or anything. Or nothing in particular. I want her to want me back.

That's Cool

But she did drop off the fan on her way home from work. And the staff even brought it to me in a timely fashion.. probably because they were complaining about how damn hot it is in my room, too.

Sign Off

Tomorrow is dentist visit Number One. And I really need these people to fix that damned commode.

Goodnight -----


The "Heck Yeah!" Update

Seeing that I was awake, my overnight nurse wandered into my space around 4:15 to check on things. So I quietly explained my commode dilemma (she immediately understood the gist of the problem). And she promised she'd find a fully functional bedside commode by any means necessary. And guess what? She did just that!

And so you know, having now resolved this issue, you shall benefit far more than I. Why? NO MORE COMMODE TALK! I PROMISE! Unless she, I, or both of us gets busted for thievery, or worse.

Take care,
H

Comments

HI Howard......You'd better learn more sign language. It seems like one of the few things that shuts Jeff up. So your "bros" now, though, having bonded over the football game. Did you bet on any team? Thought you may have made or lost a few while in there.

OK, your Dorothy Hamill comment was funny.....just don't go getting her haircut, can you promise me that?

Hospitals (or the type) do have ugly walls that you face daily. I don't know why that is and it doesn't seem to matter what color they are.

No decent air-conditioning? You live in AZ for Pete's sake! (anyone know who Pete was?)

Truly, though, I'm just sorry that things aren't better, the environment friendlier...although now Jeff seems less threatening. Is he?

Can you do me (us) a favor....not too big, and it will benefit you, I promise. Could you please post your address for us? Come on Howard, you can do that...or I'll tell them that you cut your own hair and you secretly want to look like Dorothy Hamill.

I hope settling in is easier today. Write an article for a magazine....you're talented. Yours, Lenora xo
 
Yay, you got your commode issue taken care of, and bonded with Jeff, both good news.

Hoping your nurse physician's assistant is able to truly focus on you instead of whatever is going on in her head.

I've never followed a blog before. Yours is captivating, and I'm looking forward to your posts each day. You're such a creative, humorous, and fascinating writer, and this could make a very interesting book someday about your adventures in an adult care facility.

I'm sorry you're missing your wife, Howard. I'm praying for her, and both of you, of course.

Thanks for sharing your happenings with us. Nothing much happens around here,:lol:, so this is engrossing and a vicarious experience.
 
Battle for a Commode

In addition to my never ending entertainment from your writing, I made myself a mystery to solve

Kommode in Norwegian is one of those
5898E317-4703-4A67-A6DC-7D827EB86AC1.jpeg
so a portable commode would be something like this
EBA95799-53FF-483E-9FE6-EA85DDFD469B.jpeg
but then a need to go?
(To go and to walk is more or less the same word in Norwegian, but I know you don’t walk, so….)
I was rather puzzled…
(I did finally work it out)
 
Essential Items to Bring on Your Adult Care Center GetAway

duct tape, scissors.

Your visiting Mars, and you forgot to bring your duct tape? (the commode challenge)

There is no single item more important than duct tape. I learned this many times, but most recently, when one roll of virgin duct tape, was discovered to have survived in the trunk of the Honda Civic, post incineration.

Unopened- its that valuable to me. its my symbolic Duct Tape. It will keep me alive, in Future World. When I relocate to My Final Solution (I go find my daughter, and then she is stuck with me)....I'll have that very roll of Duct Tape on me.


Meanwhile- how can I Possibly type this?- Watching the game with "Jeff" might be almost fun! (how is that spelling, my landlord Jeff is Geoff?).

Curiosity Factor

Something I sort of don't understand. So you finally triggered some curiosity?

In the physical therapist, and possibly in the Physicians Assistant (watch that one, I had 10 years of no go with a PA).

I wonder why there is not more of this curiosity.
 
I guess my brain is in slow mode today.........can you elaborate on the guy that was in your room flashing gang signs. He didn't talk?
I came to learn that the guy flashing gang signs actually works here. He may be a CNA. Or a nurse. Sounds come out of his mouth, but there's no clarity. Or it's the excess noise blotting out his sounds. A strange strange episode it was. Maybe he's deaf?
 
No decent air-conditioning?
No betting. Gambling is bad, unless you know you're going to win.

The lack of air conditioning is perplexing. I'm going to have my trusty thermometer dropped off in the next few days to see where we are at.

I do have something in mind, regarding my writing/this subject matter.

Thanks
 
This Komodde is available for sale, $82,815.45.
I'm sorry but that just proves that wealth does not equate with good taste.

Maybe that's the key though. Build something hideous and put an exorbitant price tag on it.
(I've actually heard etsy sellers say that...well not the hideous part but the raising their prices part. They said sometimes they actually sell more when they do that.)
 
Yay, you got your commode issue taken care of, and bonded with Jeff, both good news.

Hoping your nurse physician's assistant is able to truly focus on you instead of whatever is going on in her head.

I've never followed a blog before. Yours is captivating, and I'm looking forward to your posts each day. You're such a creative, humorous, and fascinating writer, and this could make a very interesting book someday about your adventures in an adult care facility.

I'm sorry you're missing your wife, Howard. I'm praying for her, and both of you, of course.

Thanks for sharing your happenings with us. Nothing much happens around here,:lol:, so this is engrossing and a vicarious experience.

@christiankatz ......Are you saying that we're all dull people without Howard's influence? Well, you're right, aren't you? So please join me in leaning on him for his in-between address. Halloween's coming, along with the other holidays.

Who knows what words of wisdom and humor will come from him. Yes, I'm sure that many of us join you in praying for Howard. Yours, Lenora.
 
Battle for a Commode

In addition to my never ending entertainment from your writing, I made myself a mystery to solve

Kommode in Norwegian is one of those
View attachment 44990
so a portable commode would be something like this
View attachment 44992
but then a need to go?
(To go and to walk is more or less the same word in Norwegian, but I know you don’t walk, so….)
I was rather puzzled…
(I did finally work it out)

Hello @Hufsamor.....Here we refer to that (in most of its forms) as a nightstand.

Perhaps Howard should have given you better help in his description (notice that, Howard!)....a portable bedside commode. Oh, I guess he must have put
that in....didn't re-read it.

What he had was a portable potty (does that have the same meaning?...it's good for both of us to know these things), and now he has a portable potty with rubber feet. Good news that someone followed through on their promise. (Probably stole it from another patient's room.)
 
No betting. Gambling is bad, unless you know you're going to win.

The lack of air conditioning is perplexing. I'm going to have my trusty thermometer dropped off in the next few days to see where we are at.

I do have something in mind, regarding my writing/this subject matter.

Thanks
Smart Man....but then we always knew that. How about that address (I can really nag with the best of them). Yours, Lenora.
 
"As it stands, I believe Jeff's behavior is passive aggressive."
What you described as Jeff's behaviour is the textbook opposite of passive aggression, i.e., erupting like a volcano, a Strombolian explosion, which is pretty much uber-aggressive aggression, on the level of a 2 year old throwing a tantrum to get what they want.

Which, believe it or not, is good news for you, because nothing is as wearisome, infuriating, and hard to quash as passive aggression. Much better the embarrassingly infantile screaming. flailing hissy fit, which everyone can see for exactly what it is ...
 
The lack of air conditioning is perplexing. I'm going to have my trusty thermometer dropped off in the next few days to see where we are at.
It's pretty much exactly what I said earlier .... they run on a very very extremely tight and limited budget. AC in a place as relentlessly sweltering as AZ is HUGELY expensive, and would be reserved for days so hot (like over 110) that patients could die and they could be sued, or, alternately or possibly concomitantly, for limited areas within the facility.

If you can find out which and get moved to the area that enjoys AC, that would be a real plus, assuming there is any area there that gets that expensive blessing ....
 

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