Terms Defined / Parameters Established / Buttons Pushed

October 9th, 2021 - 06:16:37

Applesauce Definition: any substance or semi-edible food product (natural or unnatural) derived from any combination of processed fruits or fruit-like products (not necessarily apples) that maintains a certain pre-established consistency/viscosity (thicker than water, thinner than molasses) and contains at least one vitamin (or a few minerals), while containing no greater than 50% sugar (or artificial sweeteners) and is capable of maintaining a semi-identifiable color or recognized shade that falls within an ever-widening range of indefinable parameters -


Downgraded

Based upon Friday alone, it appears as though the weekend shift is .. to put it kindly, not as high-functioning. Three plus hours to get my morning formula feed. Then my afternoon nurse started on my formula change (late), abruptly walked out of the room, then didn't come back until her shift was nearly over.. five hours later. Luckily, I was able to improvise on my own.

They neglected my roommate for three hours today, regarding his needed maintenance issues. Of course, Jeff pushes the Red Button between three and five times per hour, so perhaps the nursing staff is just plain irritated by his neediness. Well, yes they are - everybody is, but is that a reasonable excuse?

And the poor guy (seriously) is out of pain pills (although, ever since they've upped his dosage, he's been relatively quieter). Apparently there is a long standing issue with the pharmacy they use, meds taking days (and possibly up to a week) to appear. So if I ever need drugs of any stripe, I may ask that one (or several of you) mail me my prescribed drugs from… wherever. Norway, Indiana, California, Texas, Lithuania.. hmmmm, I'm not remembering where everybody is established. Oh, Canada. Yes. We need Canada onboard. All the best drugs pass through Canadian Customs.

Or perhaps we need to establish a Phoenix Rising Drug and Supplement Exchange? Or more so, a sort of fancy-shmancy roulette wheel. A random assorted delivery system to appease the masses, our massed self-experimenting crew.

Anyway, I push the Red Button six times per day. Three times each for my tube feeding needs, and three times attempting to acquire applesauce. Tonight the CNA shot me down before I could even ask.

"We don't have any applesauce, not in the entire building."

She's from Jamaica. We have a lot of Jamaica here, a little bit of Eastern Europe, and a well-established sect hailing from South Phoenix.

Social Studies

Besides the social worker (on the phone), I did not have any human interactions today. But I explained to the social worker that I get sad sometimes. Yes, I know. Everybody does. But I asked if there was anybody to talk to, a professional of some sort. Somebody with a related designation. And she mentioned that counselors were standing by… just not particularly close to me. Cue that Police song!

These folks in the field stop by the facility every two weeks or so. It seems that's the available option.

Heck, sometimes I just wanna talk to somebody.. have a regular conversation with a live body. I'm getting better conversationally, but I still need practice honing my skills. What else is there to do, besides bettering myself, advancing my skill set, or encouraging/motivating others?

The staff here is just too busy for extensive talk. I get it. I'm a big boy. So I write a lot. That's where it all comes out. Unfortunately, so too do the emotions. And I don't suppose I am supposed to be writing this way, out in the open. It seems that emotions are uncomfortable for all, right? But I'm needing to figure out how best to embrace them. Avoidance no longer works. And it never really did.

There likely exist rules, when it comes to blogging. But my filter (if I even have one) is broken. Both ways. In and out. All at once. Everything establishes footing. Competes for attention.

But then things like the following occur to me ---

Purpose

Thank you for offering help with the supplies! Although I DO seem to need certain items, my wife is responding in a manner which leads me to believe that she's okay with me asking for her assistance. Once I have all the bases covered (almost there), I'll simply send off a text if/when I require occasional maintenance drop-offs.. maybe twice each month?

Misnomers

The administrative staff insisted that I needn't bring supplies.. which clearly runs contrary to the reality of the situation. They almost seem to be able to manage the supplies they have here, yet they do not have the proper amount or types of supplies to manage properly.

Heck, I'm not necessarily good at things, but I almost want to offer my talents as a logistics coordinator for this establishment. I understand systems.

Argh! Refocus -

But it makes me smile inside and out, knowing that people care enough to offer assistance. Life is better this way, helping each other out. And I hope each of you has support, or are being supported wherever and whenever possible. Despite being a loner, I probably hadn't spent a lonely day in my entire life, up until this whole illness/bedbound scenario came into being.

The bottom line? Applesauce may be the last thing I am needing for a while. :)

About Last Night

My overnight nurse was both personable and easily impressed. She was fascinated by my J-tube, having never seen one before (somewhat surprisingly, none of the nurses have). So I give lessons each time, explaining the do's and don'ts. But it's not for me that I do this. It's to help the eventual elderly others (with J-tubes) who cannot speak up for themselves. When my tube was new (and I didn't quite understand), inexperienced nurses did wrong things… things okay for the far more common G-tube, not the J (gastric versus jejunum).

So the nurse asked me all sorts of questions. Which I rather like. Sometimes we (I) need to feel useful. So here's hoping you feel appreciated, at least, every so often.

Take care, y'all-
H


It's been a few days, but upon awakening I am not feeling poisoned, which helps make everything better! :)

Comments

Hello again @Howard......So you're saying that you wouldn't recommend the place you're staying at as a great weekend get-away, huh?

I do get that. We're all creatures of habit and we like our own space.

Yes, the weekend staff is generally composed of an understaffed & underthinking group of individuals. Don't worry...there will be significant turnover and a new group will be on next weekend.

OK....serious stuff here Howard, not applesauce that we're going to talk about. WHAT is the address of your place of placement at the moment?

Also, I can tell from what you've written that you're emotionally able to actually state what it is that you want/need/desire (apart from your wife...we can't help you there, or can we?)

How about if we send you some books on tape, that sort of thing? Can you eat any candies that are soft....do you even like them? And cards, whether electronically (I'm not part of that crowd; wish I was at holiday time) and any other thing that would help the day pass. Imagination's always good and yes, writing. You really should send some of your stuff into a magazine.

Ask them about how often they bathe patients properly. I know there is a submersive bath utilizing a chair that enables the person to wash his entire body and wash his hair. Do they have something to cover your tube area that is completely and totally waterproof ? That may have to be ordered (and at their pace....well, I wouldn't expect it tomorrow). Ask a Dr. even for a prescription....it may be faster, if it's even totally waterproof.

Don't forget to ask about the ministerial services. Like I said, it doesn't have to be any particular religion or even religion at all, but and this is just a but, they may be able to have someone come in to visit you on a regular basis. Besides, they're nice people to talk to themselves.

Tell Jeff that the button wears out after a week's use and then he can't call anyone at all. He does deserve to be changed, absolutely. The problem is that it usually takes 2 people to do the job and change the sheets, etc.

Yours, Lenora.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Hi Howard...

I hate applesauce. A jar of it can sit partially opened, in the back of the fridge, breaking records. That issue likely goes all the way back to pork chops. My most hated food of all the food. My mom cooked pork chops for hours until they were charred cement. Then applesauce was the pork chop accessory.

My mom taught me one meal to cook, if she was sick. It was pork chops, applesauce, a wedge of iceberg. One of the four canned vegetables. Taught to cook a meal that I hated. No wonder I had "issues" with food.

I held records at the dinner table and broke my own Guiness Record, on pork chop nights. I would chew and chew it, but couldn't swallow it. Did you know that meat, if chewed for a very long time, just keeps swelling up? So my best friend was the beagle. And I did make frequent trips to the bathroom during dinner. I'd spit out the pork chops.

Everything in the world seems tied together at the moment, in my opinion.

so rumors indicate 100s of cargo ships, containing our latest backorders, cannot pull into the harbor.

I learn important things from my daughter. Like whats happened to individual servings of canned peaches. Per a FACEBOOK civic advertisement, we learn that peaches grown in Argentina, are then shipped over to an Asian Country where they are converted into the processed small serving and then, this is packaged in special plastics and shipped back across the Pacific. A package of six servings, is $4.50 at COSCO. Toss plastic, when thru.

A Phoenix Rising Drug Exchange is meanwhile a great idea. One category we should is: bought that, tried that, can't stomach that. I just inherited a whole shipment from a PR stomach sensitive of partially sampled miracle cures.

Your Place There: so I have lots of questions about the general scene, This stems probably, from my mom and Dad living in this state run VA place for 20 plus years. I grew incredibly fond of the place taking care of my parents.

Does this place have amenities? Do some folks gather in the rec room? Is there a patio? Are some mobile and others not? Does Jeff ever "leave" the room? My mom had this roommate, I never saw her not once, as she was always elsewhere.

Volunteer helpers? Therapy dog visits?

I could totally understand you coming up with a whole reorganizational scheme for more effective Deployment (aka where is the applesauce (in a cargo container)).

***
chatting with my little toddler grandaughter via video- she is asked to tell us what is she feeling? The small child feels many things, but isn't quite able to describe it or talk bout it.

Last nite, she said she was Happy. Beaming. And on the table are several paper cut out emoji faces- Happy, Angry, Sad. I guess those are three hard core ones we feel, early on.

then identifying the "love" feeling...thats more challenging. But its in there, too.

What would we be, with out our feelings?
 
"And I don't suppose I am supposed to be writing this way, out in the open. It seems that emotions are uncomfortable for all, right? But I'm needing to figure out how best to embrace them. Avoidance no longer works. And it never really did.

There likely exist rules, when it comes to blogging. But my filter (if I even have one) is broken. Both ways. In and out. All at once. Everything establishes footing. Competes for attention."

Hey, Howard, I don't think there are any rules when it comes to blogging.

Also, I would encourage you not to edit yourself or censor yourself based on what you think others do, or don't, want to hear about. (You can do that later, when you mine the blog for your future memoir.)

If you need to use your blog to acknowledge, express, and process your emotions, then you should.

As the kids say, "you do you."
 
I don't know much about blogging rules, either.

Having sort of lost my ability to read longer winded pieces, and our "reading format challenge"...I've not spent alot of time in outside world blogs.

But probably I'm supposed to shut up. (member of the Peanut gallery)
 
WHAT is the address of your place of placement at the moment?
I'm not wanting to give out the address here, as that might limit my ability to write freely. Or if I do so, I'll have to tell everyone here that I am writing about them.. which would skew the results/my observations.

Other than that, I don't require anything else. I live minimally. Have my Fire tablet (make music/watch occasional Korean shows) and my phone (for writing/dictating).

I truly appreciate the thought though.

How about real live relatively personable people.. can you give me those? :)

Ask them about how often they bathe patients properly.
Bathing isn't happening right now. They seem to be rather confused by my rules for hands-off showering/bathing, as I explain them. I need to find different words.. and/or someone I can trust. Anyway, I last took a shower on October 1st, 2015 and have been holding up splendidly all this time. :)
 
Does this place have amenities? Do some folks gather in the rec room? Is there a patio? Are some mobile and others not? Does Jeff ever "leave" the room?
'm not exactly sure what any amenities there would be, but I don't believe we have any.

Um. I've been told that other residents move around, but I have no proof. I only see the wall ahead of me. And the ceiling. And curtains on either side.

Jeff is stuck here, too. He never leaves. But they've gotten him into a wheelchair twice. His prognosis is better than mine.. should walk again, eventually.

But really, I have no idea what goes on anywhere else in here.. similar to being at home.
 
Also, I would encourage you not to edit yourself or censor yourself
Yeah, I know you're right. I'm just really raw emotionally, a virtual novice in this field. Leaving myself vulnerable makes me feel more alive, holding everything in makes everything worse. Simple math.

When I first started writing and responding on here (three years ago), I had my wife proofread every potential post.. making sure there was nothing offensive, insensitive, or easily misunderstood (5 billion words later, and I am flying solo! Progress!).

I've always had to employ people like that in my life.. monitoring me for my own greater good.
 
Hello @Howard......Oh no, don't feel that you should be monitoring yourself. If so, then where would Howard be, in what realm?

No, just let yourself go. Like I keep saying (in addition to other things), you're a writer and start with something like AARP magazine even. If it doesn't like your style, you'll probably be told what to avoid. You bring up many serious things but also add a dose of humor. I find that I also lived my life that way from an early age. When you're in a situation you can't escape from, how do you make it tolerable? How do you face the world? Sure it's not funny in the traditional way, but there is a certain undercurrent when we share with others.

I don't believe your audience is just female either. I think it hits a chord in men, but few know how to reply. Although you need and want that male point of view. Is there a game on today? Just enjoy and really enjoy what you can. Writing is that in addition to an escape.

I had to view my family in that light from the time I was young, so do "get" that type of writing. And don't have anyone proofread things to death (as someone should have at the beginning of this sentence of mine)

Let the words just tumble out; all those emotions and thoughts...JUST DO IT!
Think of raking great piles of leaves when a kid & then jumping in them. Escape by using that great imagination. A question: Are you even from AZ or did you move there? Well, you know your life. Just wondering...as always, about things. My head's in the clouds. Yours, Lenora.
 
@Howard....the address is so we can send you cards. You don't have to respond. Don't even have to mention them. Just write on here as usual, no replies needed. It's always nice to receive a card....didn't you ever see a Hallmark ad? Cards aren't bills, you know. Yours, Lenora.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm not wanting to give out the address here, as that might limit my ability to write freely. Or if I do so, I'll have to tell everyone here that I am writing about them.. which would skew the results/my observations.

Other than that, I don't require anything else. I live minimally. Have my Fire tablet (make music/watch occasional Korean shows) and my phone (for writing/dictating).

I truly appreciate the thought though.

How about real live relatively personable people.. can you give me those? :)



Bathing isn't happening right now. They seem to be rather confused by my rules for hands-off showering/bathing, as I explain them. I need to find different words.. and/or someone I can trust. Anyway, I last took a shower on October 1st, 2015 and have been holding up splendidly all this time. :)
Just remember the lice, fleas....whatever adventure. You don't want a repeat of that, do you? You'll be doused in bleach and that's only the beginning. A reminder....that's all. I'm not Mr. Bony's Nurse. L.
 

Blog entry information

Author
Howard
Views
136
Comments
12
Last update

More entries in User Blogs

More entries from Howard