Spring is here but I do not feel springy

I'm still really really dragging after Moderna #2. (3+ weeks out). I worked 2 part time days last week after taking the entire week before off.... (we are supposed to be back in the physical office even though only 1/3 of employees are vaccinated, go figure) and then completely crashed on Friday, Saturday, Sunday. That was not my pre-vaccine normal level of capacity so something is clearly up.

Acupuncturist says: Yeah there's a lot of inflammation (and she had to use the child needles)- your body is just mad

Visceral massage therapist says: Yeah a whole bunch of adhesions in your gut from infection (I had felt like SIBO was coming back in December and took oregano to kick it back out) (that exhausted me also)

Cranio sacral therapist says: Big knot at the back of your head, and your whole system is in shock, the kind I usually see from big trauma like car wrecks or relationships ending. (In my case it was maybe fall kitchen remodel and exposure to chemicals??) "It's not just that you're tired....it's like you're drunk." :eek: :love: She thought it was more the kitchen remodel than the vaccine, but this is based on her (impressive, in my experience) intuitive abilities so who knows.

I was actually glad to hear her say that. I've felt underwater these last 2+ months, at my very wit's end, like I have absolutely no stamina or endurance anymore. Like the tiniest thing could knock me under. :xpem:

In hindsight...I guess I should have taken a month off work after the chaos of the kitchen remodel. Maybe??? I don't know that I wrote about it here, I can't remember, but I ended up having to move out of the house for 3 weeks while waiting for chemical smells to subside. Maybe it was 2 weeks. Anyway it was super disruptive because I hadn't planned for it and had to shift between hotels :ill: and little vacation rentals in town. Fortunately I found two cottages that don't use hideous scented products, but the whole thing was.... kind of a lot.

Here's how the kitchen remodel ended: They finished up at 4 pm the day before Thanksgiving. Kitchen completely finished but .... empty. We had set up makeshift kitchen in the basement. I was determined to cook thanksgiving dinner. And so we did, including hauling items upstairs from the basement to cook the whole damn thing with. THAT WAS DUMB. Cooked all damn day. I took Thanksgiving dinner trays to friends when we were done, because CORONAVIRUS, it was rainy, it was dark, I was exhausted. :bang-head: ..... and it was lovely and they loved it and all, but sooooo dumb. Some people. Just do not learn.

I feel beyond medical help. I feel like I have a medical condition straight out of Gabriel Garcia Marquez --caused by something like a sad, lost tropical bird that inexplicably died at my grandmother's feet when she was a child, in the middle of a snow storm. And the cure is something like bow and chant and sing to the 6 directions for 90 days with feathers woven into my hair. I won't be better at the end, but I will have adjusted my expectations so that all I expect to do is bow and sing.

SOOOO...
I"m taking the next week or two off work entirely. I'll do my best to just rest and sauna and walk a little if I can. Last year I was walking so much in the early days of shut down, it's so sad I'm too exhausted to do that now.

Also, if I don't get better, I'm ready to quit. I really love my job and all but I've been pushing it up this hill for 4 years now and if it's not getting easier that has got to mean something.

I do have a dr. appointment this week to do a deeper dive into test results and see if she can figure out why I'm stalled out .
(Instead of the regular appointment when she just nods at my update and charges me $$$$).
But it may just take time.

PS. Yeah the fitbit says I'm stressing my system out (in terms of high heart rate) ALL the time, doing just about anything.

I continue to do HRV morning readings but it's going to take a while to build up enough data to see trends and to figure out how to interpret them. I don't necessarily trust the readiness score the app developed for "normal" people.

Comments

It's not just that you're tired....it's like you're drunk.
Very good quote. I'm in a crash today and that's just how I feel. I'm just stumbling along.

We had set up makeshift kitchen in the basement. I was determined to cook thanksgiving dinner.
What's the old saying about overeating, "My eyes were bigger than my stomach."

In this case though it has to do with overdo-ing. "My scheming brain is always bigger than my battery capacity."

I would guess too that your kitchen is still off gassing. Do you have an air purifier? This one is similar to mine and it helps.

Not that I'm recommending you buy one necessarily just that if you have one, put it in that room for a long time.
 
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Very good quote. I'm in a crash today and that's just how I feel. I'm just stumbling along.



What's the old saying about overeating, "My eyes were bigger than my stomach."

In this case though it has to do with overdo-ing. "My scheming brain is always bigger than my battery capacity."

I would guess too that your kitchen is still off gassing. Do you have an air purifier? This one is similar to mine and it helps.

Not that I'm recommending you buy one necessarily just that if you have one, put it in that room for a long time.
re: off gassing.... we did use low VOC materials as much as possible, kept the windows open etc... and yes we do have an air filter and I kept it going for a couple months. Maybe I should start it up again?! thanks for the reminder.

re: Scheming brain- exactly. Brains like to scheme and the trick is to pay them no mind. hard to do.
 
That drunken toxicity feeling really is the best way to describe what it feels like. Flu like doesn't do it justice. It took me two weeks to get over the AZ vaccine, but now I'm fine. I found Lauricidin for 2 weeks helped and then a dose of probiotic to rebalance. Worked in my case but I have no idea why I needed that combo.

Hope you feel better soon.
 

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