Nursing Homeless/You Wouldn't Believe

October 8th, 2021 - 0717 hours

This morning I am imagining what it looks like outside.. what's going on out there. It seems light. Sunny. Perhaps there are clouds in the sky. Hummingbirds. Do they have hummingbirds in this neighborhood, just like mine?

I taste blood in my mouth. I feel poison in my veins. The television is loud. The fan that is blowing and blowing drones on. Moans and groans in the background and perhaps down the hallway. I hope they aren't suffering too much. Random beeping. Door alarms going off intermittently.

Lucky for me I'm wearing my industrial-strength earmuffs. I still hear all of this happening, but at least everything is muffled, as though I were under water. Well, not really my roommate's television. That's more surgically piercing.

The air has been cool these past two days! They must have done something. Perhaps they got tired of me mentioning it. The heat. Or perhaps they were tired of repeatedly sweating upon their own sweat, time and time again.. upon entering my room. Remember, they're in full dress, full cover, whenever entering the room. We are still in lockdown. Employees have tested positive for the Coronavirus. Who knows where it floats off to next, this damned virus?

I'm okay. I am displeased that I wake up once again with that full-bodied poisoned feeling. Is it my teeth… or the unavoidable stress and strain?


My feeding formula ran out three hours ago. I'm not going to die.. because of this (I keep adding plain water). But I cannot get anyone to respond either. I'll have to assume there are more pressing matters on and about the place.

Yesterday's News

Well, surprisingly uneventful. Roommate Jeff was dead to the world early on, No Noise until Noon. Hmmm… my next album title?

Sauce of the Future

First Thing Thursday… The applesauce doesn't taste like applesauce, so I am bypassing my probiotic this morning. The consistency and color aren't right either. On the tip of my tongue it tastes off.

Four hours later..

Same thing. "Applesauce" tastes wrong. But I need my probiotic. Options? None. So I ingest anyway. Mistake realized minutes later. This cannot be applesauce. Yellow and thin, tastes like a going-rotten pear chemical solution. Is it sugary? Artificial ingredients? Why is this so disagreeable?

For the rest of the day and into the darkness I feel weak, poisoned, and achy. So I take to intermittently napping. May not be related to the sauce.

Oh yeah… In the late afternoon I explained my dilemma to Nurse Sadie. And Sadie I like. She gives off a nice aroma.. er, ummmm.. maybe it's a pleasant vibe?

She doesn't buy into my Something's Rotten with the Applesauce Theory. But two hours later I receive yesterday's applesauce (the proper formula, not necessarily left out in the parking lot leftovers). Light brown, thicker, more naturally clumpy… and smells quite normal.

So yeah. What exactly did I experience earlier?

Anyway, three days ago, I told the KITCHEN MANAGER that I needed applesauce three times per day... suggesting they deliver it at the same time they deliver everybody else's meals... to make it easier on both the staff, and I. But no, they cannot seem to do this.

Other Voices

I spoke with my wife over the phone last night (regarding my mother's bank account) and I was pleased to hear her voice. Besides missing her every which way, her voice is quite distinctive, residing among the lower registers of female voices, but still distinctly feminine.

So, something positive.

Doctor Doctor

Dr. Woo Woo came in to visit. It seems she's on board with the overall plan (from what I was able to decipher and discern over the background crosschatter), but we'll see what the insurance says.

Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me

So it looks like I'll have to go without my simple basic needs being met today. Or at least, until the next shift starts.

I hate bothering her, but my wife will be dropping off a case of applesauce this weekend. And a few pickled relish packets (if she can find them somewhere). Sometimes a small pinch of relish between my cheek and gums helps initiate a peristalsis event.

Again, the staff here is nice, but they don't have access to the regular everyday supplies you'd expect to find in a place like this. And if I hadn't brought my own….

I almost feel as though I'm in a Third World Country Store. Yes. I know others are a lot worse off than I. Out there. Wherever.

I'm okay. And so are you.

0945 WOO HOO - i jus gots da foamula!


Oh, good, It's good to know your wife will drop off applesauce. It's hard to get your needs met in a hospital-like setting. In a couple of my hospital experiences, I remember just wanting some ketchup, so I could tolerate the food, and it seems to have taken days(?) to finally get some.

Thanks again for sharing your experiences with us, Howard. I've assumed I'll end up in one of those places someday, and it's nice to know what to prepare for. I'll be bringing lots of earplugs and other devices for canceling noise and maybe some ketchup, Lol.

Howard, if you ever need us to send you anything, I hope you'll let us know.
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Hi, Howard,

I want to second ChristianKatz's generous offer.

If there's anything I can track down, purchase, and send to you during this difficult transition, please let me know.

I know it's early days yet at the facility, but it angers me that you aren't getting your basic human needs met. As I am helpless to do anything about that, my offer to help with *anything* that can make this time easier for you, please LMK.

You can send me a private message if anything comes to mind now or in the future. I check PR most days, especially lately, as I am concerned about you and want to follow how you are doing.
What is it about the food in these places?

You'd think since people reside there, food would exist for these humans. Including emergency rations, and sudden need for applesauce.

It rained much of the nite here, so very lovely. Is all cool out, big clouds, moist air very refreshing to BREATH.

I awoke to leaf blower maintenance man, next door, making sure he steps on teh moist soil, and removes EVERY leaf that came down, since last Monday when he already removed every leaf.

He followed up by leaf raking the cement.
I expect being in lockdown and underfunding dont help matters.
Some chaos is likely tied to the recent change in requirements for some health care folks have left the job, probably within the last two weeks.

Underfunding is the entire plan.

But the lack of edible food in these places- well thats been my experience over many decades.

They could hardly find me a thing to eat at 11 pm after giving birth and having not eaten for 5 days.
Thank you for the offers!

Social services just called me moments ago.. and the woman was appalled that was unable to get applesauce. She said she'll be contacting the cafeteria manager immediately (my roommate is having similar difficulties.. he wants orange juice).

Oh, and they'll also be sending someone over to speak with me...

It's weird, because each time I've had the pear/peach/apple mystery sauce (to ingest my probiotic), within an hour I experience pain in my kidneys. And there's nothing on the internet linking the two/three (probiotics v. mystery sauce v. kidneys).

Psychosomatic? Coincidence? It's happened three times (out of three) now.

The tolerable pain only lasts a couple of hours, but perhaps this (reaction) means something. An indicator of sorts. A clue as to what's wrong with me. But if I tell the nurse about this she'll think I am insane!

I appreciate everybody's concern. Although I am doing my best not to trouble her (she deserves this break in the action), my wife is on top of procuring supplies.

its one of the same mysteries with me, kidney pain after eating most things. Its very not cool situation for me. Let me know if they figure it out over there since you have more access to drs than me.

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