Nursing Home Difficulties (Death, Dirty Howard, and Disestablishmentarianism)

*This super extensive never ending blog entry involves everyday struggles and a fair amount of negativity (and lots of frustration) with occasional joyous appeasement. Felonious easement? Well, something like that.

Please know that normal people would likely be better able to navigate these types of everyday obstacles with deft ease. The thing is, I do not process in a normal way. Which, most of you already know. Which is neither here nor there. Well, it is here. Literally. And actually.

Also, I do not require any assistance or help with anything. I'm just trying to explain things - detail the goings on.

And lastly, I'm apologizing in advance for all these words upon words. Normally I would spend time editing, editing down my blog entry to make it a more manageable read. But that's one of the reasons I have not been posting of late… I do not much feel like editing my own crap! LOL




In theory I exist, but in reality I actually do not. And I'm assuming it's because I live in a nursing home full time. Real people get real responses in real time. At least, that's what I used to experience in real life. Now, I don't even get the joy of experiencing red tape. Or getting caught up in red tape. Or heck, receiving supplies, including red tape, or any other color tape for that matter.

These days, I must beg, borrow, and steal medical supplies. Okay, mostly it's begging. People online send me medical tape (no, not the red kind!), cotton swabs, 4x4 non-woven bandages, etcetera and so on.

Oh, and since my dedicated CNA (Betsy) disappeared with Covid-19, I've also had to negotiate with the registry CNAs. Basically, the temporary CNAs who take care of me in her absence. Nobody wants to give me a shower. It's difficult. Or confusing. Or maybe there is some form of indescribable repulsivity emanating from my naked form, which is negatively impacting their psyches. Hell, I don't know what the problem is. In many instances I do not know what the problem is. But in reality, I haven't showered since last week. But that's not so bad. Other things are actually bad.

I've been trying to see a dentist. Any dentist. Anywhere. A dentist who will accept my insurance. Or accept me as a person. A nursing home person who needs stretcher transport. But really, I could use wheelchair transport, except that I cannot be in a wheelchair at a 90° angle, totally upright. I must be partially reclined. Because of this, the transportation authorities won't transport me. Anyway that's a whole different issue. Entirely. No one has an answer for that one either.

But, I've also needed to see an oral surgeon. I won't go into detail. But I've had mouth, bone, sinus pain for the past 12 years. Just beneath my nose and to the left. It hurts when I smile. Luckily, here, in the nursing home, I have not been smiling much lately.

Anyway, nobody will accept stretcher transport who will also take my insurance. I called 24 different establishments the other day, and I wore myself out. And I made myself angry. And I broke things. And I threw things.

Well, I threw things in my imagination. I really don't have anything I can afford to throw and/or break. But I'm doing my best to sound like a tough guy. Someone who takes out his vengeance on inanimate objects.

So Nurse Raleigh let Social Services know that I needed assistance... two weeks ago. And that I needed to see a dentist, on site. I needed someone to pull a tooth that hurts a lot. But thus far, no response from Social Services. So I left a message for them. I left a message with them. I left a message on their extension. Yet no one returns my call from the Social Services outfit. Ever. Indeed, I'm waiting for the first time ever that someone from Social Services responds to my beckon call. Beckoned call? Backend call? Blackened Calm. Yeahhhh. That's it!

In a nursing home, you don't return the calls to the residents. You ignore them until they f****** die. And lately, my people have been dying. Shaniqua just died 3 days ago. 32 years old. I won't get into it, or why it may have happened. She just donated stoma cleaning cotton balls to my cause no more than 10 days ago.

And my friend Diane died 3 weeks ago. I wrote an obituary (never posted) in the midst of being out of sorts over that. Heck, I'm still upset about that. Anyway, she's the one who used to joyously meet and greet me several times a day out in the courtyard. Otherwise, she was a very difficult human, at times. And I was her only (on the premises, or anywhere else) friend. In any case, she was a heavyweight fighter who lost the fight in round number 15.

Because I've used aliases for these people, you may not know exactly who I'm talking about. But still, they're dead now. No matter what name I used. Anyway I didn't feel like writing about that on the blog. People always die. That's what humans do. And just because I'm upset about it, makes no matter.

In the meantime, I've left a couple of messages for my case manager. Yes, my case manager for Mercy Care.

Mercy Care manages my health. Or, they manage my slow road into oblivion.

I'm not sure how these case managers fit into the whole equation. Why? Because they never seem to do a f***** thing! I've been asking for assistance to get dentures.

Among other things, I'd like to chew, once again. It's not that I eat much. And really, I could get by without chewing, but it's difficult to speak when teeth are falling out of your head. Or falling out of MY head. Either way, teeth are falling out, piece by piece. Or I wish they were. It would be less painful overall. Really, how do I extract my own teeth?

Well, Betsy volunteered to help, but that's about the only hope I have on that front.

Anyway, I've never once received a response from my case manager. Never ever ever. This person may not even exist. At one point, I did have a video call with her during the midst of the Covid-19 crisis. And she apologized. Repeatedly. Over and over. And she didn't know why she never ever called me back. She theorized that she may have thought I was somebody's grandson or something. Nope. She didn't realize I was an old person in a nursing home. I guess I wasn't clear enough.

"My name is Howard. I live in a f***** nursing home. Please f****** help me!"

So I guess that's on me.

But you sound so young… and you look so healthy… they say -

If only it were that simple. That easy. Or even halfway true.

Wait a second, what the hell is the point of this? Oh yeah, I got left outside for an hour and a half earlier in the week. My brain got baked. I started feeling physically ill after a while. It was hot. And it was humid. Monsoon season. You know how that works, right? The seasonal wind shift. The wind shift that ushers in humidity from distant places… primarily the Gulf of California, the Gulf of Mexico, and Mexico itself.

And then, once they did bring me inside they left me in the television room. For three hours. Directly beneath the alarm.

Yes, during a Covid-19 lockdown event, there's an alarm that goes off anytime someone exits the unit through the doorway to the outside world. It is super duper loud. The nurses hate it. They can't focus with the alarm going off all the time. And they have to stop whatever they're doing to manually shut the alarm off.

Anyway, I helped them destroy the alarm. Okay, not really destroy it, I simply helped them disable the alarm by suggesting they muffle it with a Tupperware container and some of my recently donated medical tape.

Unfortunately, that solution didn't last long. Today the maintenance crew reassembled the alarm, so it's back to its normal sounding off routine, just about every five minutes or so.

Oh, and if it's not obviously apparent, they are letting me go outside now. As long as I am masked up, and stay away from every single soul inside or out of the nursing home, that way, I can get into the Sun, and the sun can get into me, for a short period of time.

At least Angela hung out with me the other day (for about 45 minutes). I needed it. Perhaps she did too. She's rather young, and likely impervious to Covid-19. So she was willing to take the risk. Of course, I did have the window open. And she was wearing her n95 mask. And a face shield. And goggles. And I held my breath the whole time (in case anyone at the nursing home is reading this). I also had a bucket over my head. A dirty pail. It's stunk to high heaven. But as I've not had a shower of late …

So I did have some socialization.

And last night's CNA was personable. Lots of tattoos. Hair on her head. Old enough to know better. Young enough not to be jaded. I think her name was Vanessa. Or Marissa. Or Matilda. One of those old world names.

So she let me be funny and entertaining for a series of minutes. Consecutively. Allowing me to run through my atypical routine.

What happened was that she took my blood pressure and I was an astounding 186/56. Which really, is impossible. And I told her as much. That's not my regular number. Nope.

Again, these are the blood pressure machines they purchased off Craigslist for $18 each. So the accuracy expectations are quite low. Even so I had her strap the cuff onto my left upper arm. And of course, I came out as being 80/46. That's not good either. A low number like that means I have serious problems.

To keep the amusement going, she strapped the cuff around my right leg. Specifically, around my calf. And that was better. That was 126/60. Next she tried wrapping around other appendages. My big toe, for instance. Well, that didn't work out so well. Then she wrapped the cuff around my neck as part of a photo op. Yes, she was giggling. Perhaps even laughing. But I wasn't giggling. The darn thing was really tight around my esophagus. My pharynx was strained. My vocal cords were constricted. My carotid artery was pushed to the limits as I began to black out!

Note: she didn't really wrap the inflatable cuff around by neck

A few days earlier I had a CNA named Betsy II. She's a black woman. And I had her two nights in a row. And she almost gave me a shower each time, but it was always too late. It was too late by the time she completed her things. But at least she made the effort. On the second night we talked about the shower for nearly 20 minutes. Of course, in those 20 minutes I probably could have been showered. But I'm not trying to be critical here.

She was a joy to experience. A dynamic human. Someone attending nursing school. Someone who wants and needs to be a nurse. And more importantly, she said things that were both clever and funny, so I laughed. It's nice when those kinds of things happen - lively conversation going back and forth. It's not a usual occurrence. It doesn't seem most humans can hold a decent conversation these days. A lost art. A lack of interest. Me being a snob of some kind.

So by all means, text me instead. Instagram me. Facebook me. Twitter me. Emoji me. Shoot me a gang sign. Who needs conversation?

Anyway, I had some kind of illness. My stomach shut down for the 72 hours. Body aches, burning muscles head to toe. Profuse sweating. Confusion. Disorientation. Scratchy throat. But wouldn't you know, I keep testing negative for Covid-19.

Somehow, last night (Friday night), after they turned the air conditioning on, I started feeling better. Probably a coincidence. But for some reason, the air conditioning relieved my sweating component.

Oh, and when I've not been under the weather, I've been making music. Slowly but surely. Putting together compositions. Perhaps something you may like. But probably not. You remember, don't you? I make weird music. Or something. I compose unintelligible uninteresting unencumbered….

Eh, sometimes my stuff strikes the right chord. The right chord progression. The right chord regression, discretion, under a different impression.

But really, I've been having a lot of fun with the music, making and creating things now and again.

Speaking of music, one of the CNAs offered to buy me cookies in exchange for guitar lessons. I'm not sure I will take her up on this. It could be too exhausting. But I appreciate the offer. I'll have to think about it though.

And gosh, I hope Betsy's okay. I hope she's not suffering too much from Covid-19. She's a regular angel. And in my book, regular angels (hell, the entire variety of angels) shouldn't have to suffer. And you would think her best friend Blanche would let me know if anything were awry. But Blanche has yet to stop by to offer any updates. And I'm not sure what that means. Why wouldn't she stop by?

So yes, with my main cog not here the cogwheel is now broken.

In Conclusion

Okay then, I should probably wrap this up. This was all off the top of my head, so I don't know if this makes sense. Just me rambling on and on about this and that. And really, I should just write the damn book everybody says I should write. Right? I'm sure somebody out there wants to know about the inner workings of a nursing home from the perspective of an actual resident. And please keep in mind, much and most of the things that happen here I cannot or haven't put in a blog. So, you guys get the squeaky clean version of everything. Not that it really matters. It's not necessary to get down and dirty here. You've got plenty of that going on outside there, in the real world.

Anyway, If someone knows a publisher, or some type of editor, someone who wants to put out a book about nursing home experiences involving Howard, please let me know. Really, I need the income. My cookie habit exceeds my means to support it.

Speaking of that, I may or may not get the motorized wheelchair, because I do not receive disability, and I have no diagnosis. Yet. So I may need to find further ways to disable myself, to make it obvious that I actually do need a motorized wheelchair, and that I actually do require disability pay.

Seriously, $119 a month would be glorious. That would cover my probiotics, the stupid ingredient cookies I eat, and probably blueberries. Yes, I need to ramp up the blueberry thing, once my stomach starts working again. My objective is to overdose on antioxidants… and to paint my insides purple with delightful blueberry juices.

Oh crap, I hear the leaf blowers coming. I've got to close my window.

All right then, that didn't work out so well. The window is still open and I am going to get dusted into oblivion. I will push my button and see if anyone responds. Somehow, the window is jammed. Open. Or perhaps I'm just too weak and stupid. Probably a little of both. Goodbye for now.

17 Minutes Later

In case anyone is wondering, the door alarm has been blaring for the past 20 minutes. Apparently, no one is available to shut it off. Probably because they're too busy. Or the damn thing is broken.

One of the activities people came in here just now and said that I smell really bad, and said that everybody is complaining about it. Everybody? Well, I guess that means I must really smell bad, right?

Yes, I have body odor because I can't get a f****** shower! My sheets are dirty. My blanket is dirty. My pillows are dirty. And that's what happens when you don't shower in the summertime during monsoon season in the desert southwest -

And why exactly don't I shower? … because A: we're in quarantine! …and because B: my CNA is out with Covid-19!

It's quite difficult to get anybody else to take action regarding showering. Plus, I've got to be innovative. Last time (under quarantine) I didn't shower for two months! Of course, back before this, when I used to live in a residential residence, I didn't shower for six years. So for me, this is nothing. But apparently, for everybody else, I am creating problems. I am making people uncomfortable. Well then, wash me already! It's not like I'm refusing to get showered!

Hmmm… probably being sick for a couple of days, sweating profusely, hasn't helped either.

Lately

It seems I'm having fewer moments of joy of late. The last few months. Probably I'm burnt out on this lifestyle. The living situation. And the circumstances. Of course, joy and positivity are all something I can promote from within. It's something I can self generate. But being defeated at every turn is sometimes exhausting.

Of course, that's an exaggeration. I do have small victories now and again. I still have a room to myself. Can you believe it? They must really be trying to do me a solid. It's been 7 weeks since the television has been turned on!

It took me eight days of glorious phone labor (actually, it only took me eight hours of constant calling during one particularly trying day, but having been flustered, I paused for seven days before trying again…), but I finally found the dentist operation who takes care of the residents who live in this nursing home of mine.

And really, it was dumb luck. I was just looking for someone who took my insurance, and who could also pull a damn tooth within a reasonable time frame. But after having talked to these people, I'm going to have to wait at least five or six weeks before they can help.

*Sorry, I know I mentioned this before, but I'm having difficulty figure out what the hell I wrote and what the hell I didn't write. My bad!

Meanwhile, I'm in the midst of hustling a shower. Forcing the issue.

Oh. Nurse Raleigh just came in and said I don't smell that bad. And I don't believe her.

Before I forget, the stoma stuff has been better than ever. Or at least, not at all burdensome. I was able to secure additional 4x4 bandages that should tide me over until my next delivery comes in. Proper bandages, including proper care materials, really help.

Oh, good news... I'm letting this particular CNA borrow my EBT card, in order to purchase my cookie goods at a store that actually supplies my cookie goods… so no cost to her! Blueberries, too!

She was just going to buy the darned cookies for me (on her own), but I told her not to. She's not rich. I don't think. But she's one of those people that keeps wanting to help me - and also, one of those people I kept holding off. Until now! Eventually, it seems, people wear me down. It takes a while though. Truly, it does.

She was also the first person (the first non-Betsy person) to give me a shower a couple of months ago. She would have showered me today, as well, but she's not assigned to me. They have rules here. Some of which they follow, and some of which they do not.

Okay then, I guess we'll see what happens next. That's what life's all about. Living in the moment, waiting for the next thing to happen. So by all means, hang loose. Or hang ten, if you're into surfing. Or hangman, if you're into drawing limbless stick figures hanging from a gallows pole.


Take care,
Howard



P.S. I did receive a shower later in the evening. I clinbed into a reclining plastic shower chair with wheels. And despite being very uncomfortable, I did manage to get very clean. Allelujah!






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Comments

That shot of the sunset (sunrise?) sky is breathaking !!!

I'm relieved you finally got a shower. Nothing feels worse than accumulated caked sweat, and then being told by the heartless gorgon who couldn't be bothered to help you remedy the situation that people are complaining about the smell .... and you deserve better ....

I'm so sorry for all the deaths, all the losses you're sustaining. I know that the contacts aren't as deep as what we'll laughingly call 'Real Life', but they're meaningful, and they hurt .... and I hope that Betsy gets some word to you about her condition ... I agree that Blanche's not dropping by of late may feel ominous ...


Hang in, you valiant warrior you, things are bound to get better. At least in my imaginary world they are. How they work out here knows God. And he never tells .... :hug::hug::hug: :thumbsup::thumbsup: :heart:
 
Hey Howard, your blog was fine without editing. Editing is just too much damn work sometimes.

Question, ...............there are so many different types of bandages these days, can you describe or name the exact 4x4's you need?............or any other care materials. I can get some things for next to nothing (and sometimes for nothing)and send to you.......no problem if they are available.

Sending hugs across the desert waves:hug:
 
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Hi @Howard
Heavens to Betsy? Where is she, how is she and is she planning to returning to the nursing home. Betsy 2 sounds like a good replacement, but often the real thing is like a soft old shoe. I'm glad you had your shower.

I truly am sorry about your friends' deaths. I remember you mentioned Diane from time to time.

Check out @Nord Wolf and how much it cost him to have his book published. Also, the clever art group @Emmarose47. I'm sure they'd be happy to have a musician on board.

Book next week's shower now....maybe that's what has to be done. Yours, L.
 
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@Howard

Here's the first of what will inevitably be several posts for you re getting published.

You have a unique product from a unique viewpoint. This, like all truly original efforts, makes it harder to sell. On the plus side, it also makes it less prone to heavy competition ad cut-throat pirating.

There's a niche for you out there, and here come the first steps towards finding it.

I'll be back with more. From time to time. As circumstances allow. But everything has to start somewhere, and this is that ....

How did I get published? Find out…
https://www.marydemuth.com/how-did-i-get-published/


EDIT .... for clarity and maybe a typo ....I aint tellin'
 
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And one more to keep you hopeful and busy, just in case I fall into one of those deep trenches that present from time to time ....

Keep in mind that none of these are going to have 100% of what you need, but they will have bits and bytes of what you need to learn on your road t becoming an author as opposed to being a writer .... take what seems useful, use the rest to plug up holes in window screens .... you now, whatever ....

240 How To Create And Sell An Ebook
https://iamlesliesamuel.com/21069/how-to-create-and-sell-an-ebook/

This one comes with a podcat, if you prefer. I learn better from the written word. My attention span is flighty, and staying focused while someone drones on and on, no matter how amusingly or usefully, is too challenging ....
 
I read part way through this saga...will have to do this in installments.

Im glad suggests are coming in for publication. Gotta be a way. I used to extensively edit. I'm no longer offering those services.

Teeth: I'd visit my Momma...and confront the Dental horror in the Home. She was forever being sent to some dental procedure or another, yet actual dental procedures rarely actually took place. I made note that something is broken, there.

That doesn't help you. I guess I'm just saying that I understand. That my Mom understands.

I was going to let you know last week I listened to a hippocampus expert, and made note of the lack of chewing.

to awaken the hippocampus: various means help.

You've addrtessed one of these means: move to a unique environment, full of surprises, Howard.

My husband decided to cease chewing. He got dentures, but won't eat with them. He drinks everything. Well he got sort of happy the other day gumming some beans.

so chewy foods and Crunchy Stuff: creates more hippocampus happiness. And some new neurons.

I might launch a correct chewing gum to save teeth and improve hippocampus experiment. If I can locate any, I'll send you some, too.

Very sorry to hear that some friends have parted ways. This is an ongoing challenge given your location. Your again being asked to demonstrate Buddha-hood, on a frequent basis. It seems an odd form of blessing, to meet people, and engage with them, only they aren' t around very long. If you assume, they are simply "elsewhere"...and having a great time, maybe its all fine. These are tiny gift exchanges. And meeting you, I suspect, was something your friends there value (ed). Even if it was a short chat, or a brief connection.

It really mattered, to them, and to you.

***
I'm processing that my best friend since sixth grade, was 45 minutes away from here last weekend. She drove down to a wedding, it seems. Then drove home.

I haven't physically seen her in at least twenty years. We exchange brief emails. She doesn't write complete sentences.

In today's world, we have nothing in common.

Anyway, I was saved from somebody stopping by it seems....
 
I am happy you shared your real feelings with us.
You are heard.
You are loved.

If anyone reading this would like to help Howard, there are ways.
A little goes a long ways with gift cards, namely Visa and Amazon as he can buy medical supplies, his cookies (the best thing he can find that has a variety of protein and nutrients pre- made that he can keep bedside), his probiotic, applesauce and other needed items from time to time like shampoo etc. As he explains, he is trying hard to obtain disability, but until or if that happens....he is a nomad of sorts.

Thank you to all of those that support him in body, mind and spirit. Bless the Phoenix Rising community :) You are SO appreciated.

If anyone ever has any fundraiser ideas for his unique situation, please let me know. You can imagine the stress lifted from one when they have access to needed items in life.
 
If anyone ever has any fundraiser ideas for his unique situation, please let me know.
Is there some reason why we can't just let @Howard himself know?

Wouldn't he be the best and final arbiter regarding what efforts he'd be comfortable with and which he wouldn't? He's shown himself fully open to receiving help during this very tough time, and has been graceful in his acceptance of it.

I'm somewhat baffled by your request that we funnel it all thru you .... it just feels .... uncomfortable ..... and leaves Howard without agency or immediate control.


Maybe I'm just having a bad day ..... it happens.
 
Is there some reason why we can't just let @Howard himself know?

Wouldn't he be the best and final arbiter regarding what efforts he'd be comfortable with and which he wouldn't? He's shown himself fully open to receiving help during this very tough time, and has been graceful in his acceptance of it.

I'm somewhat baffled by your request that we funnel it all thru you .... it just feels .... uncomfortable ..... and leaves Howard without agency or immediate control.

Maybe I'm just having a bad day ..... it happens.

Not sure if you've heard of fundraising sites for medical expenses such as GoFundme. You should check it out sometime. Fundraising in dire times can improve quality of life for some. Speaking from experience. If our friend Howard, could access that, thats what i would be assisting with. For obvious reasons you are familiar with, thats not possible. The reason i spearheaded efforts for him last year.

Howard has an address. I'm not aware of anything funneling through me. Just a friend bringing attention for new readers, etc.

You always keep things lively for me Yippee, making tough situations even tougher. May God bless you. Soften your walls.
 
So I wonder if what @YippeeKi YOW !! is saying is the method of presentation just feels a little bit like when I would take my Mom to the doctor and the doctor would talk over my Mom like she wasn’t even in the room or like she was a non-person.

This kinda feels like that or even similar to when someone talks about someone behind their back.

What if instead, anyone who is willing to help Howard, PM him directly, right now, to let him know that?

That way it takes any 3rd party out of the equation and gives Howard respect for his privacy and dignity?

What do you think, @Howard? Since the discussion is about you and I personally think, should always include you. (We shouldn't talk about you like you're not in the room.)

So can you please let the people who individually PM you know when you have a need and if we are able to help, you know we will.

I know it’s still awkward for you that way but it’s awkward in private if that makes any sense. I'm so sorry you've been put into these circumstances.

@Sunshine, it’s just that I don’t think you give a person anyway to save face when you do it this way.

So back to you @Howard. :)

Edited or unedited, I will be looking forward to the next blog post installment. :)
 
Howard has an address. I'm not aware of anything funneling through me. Just a friend bringing attention for new readers, etc.
Oh, I dont know .... maybe it was what you posted here:
If anyone ever has any fundraiser ideas for his unique situation, please let me know.

Not sure if you've heard of fundraising sites for medical expenses such as GoFundme.
Why yes. I've lived in the 21st century for a while now. But as you were informed the last time you suggested setting up a GoFundMe account for @Howard, those accounts need to be attached to a bank account, which Howard doesn't have, and they come with legal issues revolving around who's setting it up, and if it's for someone else, who's responsible for the taxes, etc.


Howard has an address. I'm not aware of anything funneling through me
And again...
If anyone ever has any fundraiser ideas for his unique situation, please let me know.
You always keep things lively for me Yippee, making tough situations even tougher.
It's a tiresome job but clearly, someone has to do it.


And I'm not sure how letting Howard direct his own life makes things tougher for you.

This kinda feels like that or even similar to when someone talks about someone behind their back.
You TOTALLY got it, @Judee , on the nose :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup: :hug:...


Which is why I tagged @Howard in on my post to Sunshine, as I did on this post .... twice.


What if instead, anyone who is willing to help Howard, PM him directly, right now, to let him know that?
And again, RIGHT ON !!!! And it doesnt have to be immediately, but when you get an idea for a fundraiser that might help Howard


This is about Howard's life, how he wants to direct it, and how he wants to invite people in .... he should have the first, second, and last words on it ...

Edited or unedited, I will be looking forward to the next blog post installment. :)
I agree. Howard's posts are great, with or without editing. I actually preferred the unedited one ..... :hug::hug:
 
:wide-eyed:
What I read from sunshines post was… “Howard is so sweet and so humble, he really don’t want any fuss, but I would really love if it was anything we could do for him, even when he doesn’t ask and don’t want to ask, himself.
So does anyone know how we could do this? If so, please let me know, cause I would love to join!”
:love:
And then yipeeki yow (by the way, I have been wondering for a very long time….what is your nick name about? Is it the sound cowboys makes, or are there something hidden in the misty mystery of the English language that I don’t grasp?)and Judee seems to try and defend Howard’s interest, and that’s sweet and thoughtful and possibly very right too.
:)
But if this was my blog, (I’m not Howard , so I can only talk for myself), I wouldn’t have felt the slightest offended by sunshines post. I think on the contrary I would even be a little happy!
 
I was just reading that there are NOT burdensome tax reporting requirements on crowd sourced monies like a Go Fund Me...if its under $20K raised it is likely fine and anyone can read about it online if they like. Of course make sure to comply with any further requirements.
This is true if you set up YOUR OWN GoFundMe account, but doesnt extend to the person who set up the account for the benefit of someone else.

Generally, contributions made to “crowdfunding” campaigns (such as GoFundMe) are considered to be personal gifts, and as such, are not taxed as income to the recipient.

This doesn’t cover or include the person who set up the account who ISN’T the intended recipient of the funds.

"Further, you cannot withdraw money from GoFundMe if you do not provide the platform with your Social Security number. The reason for this involves the responsibilities you have for taxes on the money." GoFundMe,org
 
So does anyone know how we could do this? If so, please let me know, cause I would love to join!”
If you have any ideas for setting up a fund raiser for @Howard, feel free to either post the here on his blog or PM @Howard directly with your idea ...

Otherwise, you can send directly Howard a gift card for, say, Amazon (they carry pretty much everything that Howard needs or uses or can't access thru the people supposed to provide those things).


Howards address was posted previously.
 
@Howard
I love you post, with all its pain.
And I love your phone cover (and the clouds, of course)
Sorry for your losses.
Even if we didn’t knew those people by name or by person, you’ve made them a part of our lives as well, through your writing. You kind of made their lives even bigger than they would have been, making them known all over US, England and even in Norway.
That’s some of the magic in writing- lifting people and events out of time and place and make it kind of everlasting
 
Check out @Nord Wolf and how much it cost him to have his book published.
I'm sorry I didn't read this much before. I sometimes read from the bottom up or just skim depending on my brain fog but there's free self-publishing now on Amazon: https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/

They even have an app that writers can use called Kindle Create: https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/GUGQ4WDZ92F733GC

And a Novella section for shorter version writings as well: https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/GR2L4AHPMQ44HNQ7
 
I'm sorry I didn't read this much before. I sometimes read from the bottom up or just skim depending on my brain fog but there's free self-publishing now on Amazon: https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/

They even have an app that writers can use called Kindle Create: https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/GUGQ4WDZ92F733GC

And a Novella section for shorter version writings as well: https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/GR2L4AHPMQ44HNQ7
I self-published a book on Amazon KDP eleven years ago. I paid for a book cover designer and an editor in order to make it as professional as possible, so there was a financial investment. Not to say that it needs to be done the same way but it does take some effort to self-publish and promote. At the time, I read that most self-published books are lucky if they make it over 200 copies sold, and that’s for the life of the book (it stays up on Amazon). I probably sold about 300 copies (paperback + Kindle) in total. It’s a neat idea, but do understand that it is a process and there is work involved, not to mention a ton of competition as Amazon has made it easy for just about anyone to self-publish nowadays.

E-books might be a lot easier to do. Just a guess.
 
It may take me a bit to read through all the comments to determine what's been said, but I wanted to let you know that I appreciate each and every person who comments or participates in some way.

Sunshine44 helps in one way (advocating for me when I choose not to advocate for myself), Yippee in another (solution angles and encouragement), and then Judee (a veritable suggestion machine), Tammy (wise words from my desert neighbor), Rufous (related experiences and creative evaluation), Lenora (professional interviewer/conversationalist), Hufsamor (positivity and humor), Zebra (empathy and support), Andy Guitar (support and song-listening).... as well as a couple dozen other people here, now and again. checking in, and checking out from time to time.

It's not all as simple as that. There's plenty more from each of you. And that's not even including the people I haven't even mentioned.

So seemingly, each of you and each of us comes together, and somehow resolutions come into being. Or at least, I feel encouraged, and supported. I always gain from your support, and your participation, in whatever form it takes...

Heck, Yippee and Sunshine44 have been my go-to people since 2018. Then Tammy came along, and everybody else -

Okay then, I'm going to try to go outside once the temperature dips below 100° - which should be within the next hour. It's 8:00 p.m., just about. And I need a change of venue. :)


Last night prior to the fireworks -

20220704_193857~2.jpg
 
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@Howard

What a beautifully worded and expressed response to all of the previous comments on your most recent blog post.

How you have managed to preserve your beautiful spirit of equanimity and generous compassion for others is remarkable, my friend.

Warmly,
Z
 
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Heck, Yippee and Sunshine44 have been my go-to people since 2018. Then Tammy came along, and everybody else -
Not meaning to pull rank, but I seem to be in one of my "Dot all the "i's" and cross all the "t's" moods. Very irritating, I know, and apologies up front ..... but here it is: you and I joined at almost the exact same time and hooked up almost immediately thru the efforts of @jesse's mom, who I miss like you dont wanna know. @sunshine44 joined the @Howard party in early-ish 2019, and during your hospitalization in Mar and Apr of that year .... I think that would have been the second one. Dont quote me :xeyes::xeyes::xeyes::xeyes:.
 
I’ve known Sunshine44 for I don’t know how long now, but a good amount of time. Despite her immense daily struggles, she is far and away the most positive, supportive person I know, and I do know a fair amount of peeps. Does she bring a little too much sunshine on occasion? Sure. But I’ll take that over the darkness I, and many of us who are afflicted with this awful illness, experience. I haven’t known her to have a malicious bone in her body. In my experience, she always does things with such pure intentions. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, as far as I’m concerned.
 

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