Married, feeling left out

My husband started playing D&D.

I'm glad. He's really enjoying it. He's my carer, so he needs friends and a life outside of me. I thought I was really happy for him.

Then today, an unexpected feeling came over me. I'm getting ready to celebrate tomorrow the Autumn Equinox. I can't do much, but I'm planning a special meal. It's important to me and I'm getting excited about it. My husband just seemed agitated.

I don't know why I felt so upset, maybe just that I was feeling excited and his lack of excitement made me feel like there was nothing to be excited about. Maybe that's part of it. But I think there's more.

I've never seen him so excited as he is for D&D, or not for a long time at least. We recently renewed our vows and he didn't seem excited about that even. I know partly that that's just his personality, but I feel left out.

It makes me feel like I'm boring, and I know that I am objectively. I have moderate CFS and can't do a lot. But for my quality of life, I need to feel excited about things, even little things, and he just isn't.

I just feel like I'm bothering him. I don't know how to tell him any of this without seeming petty or like I don't want him to have other friends. I totally do, he just seems so much more excited about them than our life together. Makes me feel like I'm a real drag.

I have my own friends and interests too, I recently started taking one uni class. But I feel like I'm still excited about him and spending time with him. Sometimes it just gets tiring being the one to be excited about life and positive and planning things.

Rant over.

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