Letter to a Friend

I wrote a letter to a good friend last night and oddly, turns out we both had the same ideal - that the things I said in the letter need to be heard by more than just one person. This is a very candid view of my life right now. Edited only for name, "Late night chat"

Hola! :)

Its about 1 am here and just killing a few minutes before Jeremy is ready for bed. We forgot our b12 shots till sometime after 10 tonight so not in a big rush for bed. Seemed like the lesser of the two problems - skip them a day or be up late.

Don't have enough time I don't think to reply to your email today fully so will hit it in the next few days. The simple reply - sure sounds like a lot of really fun stuff you've got going on! :) Good luck with the relatives visiting if I forget to wish it later.

Well, Jeremy and I had a long chat tonight. Happened after I went for a bit of a walk by myself tonight. Jeremy's ankle was kinda sore from some exercising we tried last night so he stayed home. Was good to get out by myself for a bit anyways. Granted I chatted with myself and nature the whole way I walked, but was a good chat.

Ended up giving me lots to think about and talk to Jeremy about. We ended up talking for probably 2+ hours but I think it ended in a really positive place. Not a fully happy place, but positive.

The not happy part is because of where our health is right now. Quite frankly I'm rather worried about us. We seem to have suddenly had a rather large downturn these last several weeks and we always are so dang close to that point of life being more than we can keep up with, that any downhill motion is very worrisome.

But we figured a few more things out and hopefully will have some stuff improve in the next few months from it.

Its hard coming right out and saying stuff like this, you know? Hard to admit just how low we end up sometimes. We really need more help but I don't think there is any where to get it from. Most of the type of help we need is beyond what Jeremy's dad can do and we are simply too broke to afford to pay someone for work.

We need to be indoors. Life is so very much hard outside like this. :/ It tears me up to see Ron's place every day just off through the woods about 200ft and know he has a spare bedroom we could use with very little notice. But figure there's no point to it because we get ill just being downwind of his open door/windows on sunny days so I really doubt we could live there.

You know what occurred to me yesterday? Summer 2004 was likely the last time I might possibly have been inside a house, but only for a visit. Might even have been 2003. I know 2003 was the last time we cooked inside a real kitchen and that was while sleeping in a friend's yard and using their house one night when they were out of town, though we just cooked and watched some tv before going back outside. Was a nice and low toxic place, unfortunately they sold it and moved about a year later.

Fall 2002 was the last time I lived or slept indoors. December 13, 2002 was the date we left all that and have been in a tent since. That's a long friggin' time.

But aside from the length of time, its our health. We need to be indoors. I don't know if I'm going to find a way to make that happen and the worse our health gets, the less options we have.

I'm not sure what happened, we had been doing well with the diet change for a while. But we've been getting weaker and more easily injured the last maybe two months. Its a real problem, we don't have much to loose. I'm actually thinking about paying Robb Wolf for some consultation time in another month or two if we can't swing things around ourselves. Just don't know what to do and I think part of it might be diet. Its like - all of a sudden we just stopped getting the nutrition we need from what we eat. Will see our normal doc first and see what he suggests, but talking to Robb in a nutritionist type capacity might not be a bad thing. Might be well worth the money and at least this way we would know its a person who has some knowledge of diets like this.

Honestly, it really feels like somethings gotta change in the next few months. We'll do pretty much anything to find that change because things stopped working right for us and in a big/bad way. I am very hopeful still that Jeremy being off his candida med will be that change, but it may have pushed our already taxed bodies too far. I'm a bit scared to be honest. Hard to admit, but I am.

We'll find a way, we have to. I just would feel a lot better if I had an inkling of what that might be.

I know you've said that you pray for us sometimes. I really don't think I've ever asked anyone to pray for me before, but think you could toss in an extra good word or two for us?

heh, here I had intended on making sure to write something that wouldn't worry you and I've a strong suspicion that I failed on that point. I am sorry for the worry, I just really needed to tell someone these things. Well, someone besides Jeremy. :) I just hadn't wanted to add to your load and I do most certainly apologize for it. :)

So yeah, had a good long talk with Jeremy tonight about all this and more. Started some fresh action that should help towards putting things right for us with just a bit of luck.

Alrighty, Jeremy's done and its very late here. I got longer winded here than planned and now he's been waiting for me. lol I'm going to head off to bed and hopefully a good night's sleep. :) Big hugs, Lisa

Comments

Hey, my dear friend, Lisa,

so sorry to hear you've both stopped improving, and worse, to hear you are falling downhill again.

I am thinking of you both, & sending positive wishes & love from the depth of my heart, across the oceans.

Perhaps it's time to take up that organic farmer offer of indoor accommodation (in the hope that a miracle occurs). After all, you can always come back to The Tent (if it doesn't work out).

I DO so wish I could come over & help you.
 
Hi Lisa,

I wholeheartedly agree with Victoria- "I DO so wish I could come over & help you."

You know that I'll always support you in my heart.

with love and hugs
 
Hi Lisa,

I'm glad you were brave enough and willing to put yourself "out there" to your friend, and that she is a friend that can handle it.

I too wish there was something I could do for you. Somewhere I wish there was a high school or college class that would build you even one of those tiny houses - green of course.

Fervently hope things start heading in a better direction for you two.
 
Thank you both for the warm thoughts. :) If I wasn't half a world away, I would definitely take you both up on the help!

Vicki, wish I could talk with that farmer but it would do no good right now. We had to stop looking for a place because our health dropped less than it has now and at this point merging our MCS with living indoors again would be more work than we are capable of on our own. Its a nice thought though. :)

big hugs to both of you! Lisa
 
Oh! We cross posted SeaShel. :)

Thank you for taking the time to post. Its hard for me to put myself 'out there' and really helps to receive positive comments like yours.

Aye, I wish that too. Seems like the programs around here for building homes all want to use the standard plywood construction method or if they are willing to go alternative, then our current strawbale home is too far along for them to be interested in it. Personally, I think it would still provide some experience building a strawbale home, but they want to be in on it only from the ground up.

hugs, Lisa
 
I don't know the details, Lisa, but perhaps the paleo diet is not good for you. Low in carbs thus helps keep bacteria and yeast numbers down as they feed on sugars. But the downside is shifting your metabolism too much and not eating a well rounded diet. Perhaps you can adapt it. For instance no grains, and only low sugar fruits (berries, lemons etc), maybe the occasional potato, but lots of all kinds of veggies, some beans, nuts, seeds, as well as meats and fish. A colorful diet is the healthiest--all different colors of foods and fruits have different nutrients. Seaweed, too. Sauteeing dulse in olive oil is very tasty.
 
Hi Lisa, I am so glad to hear from you but so sad you are still in this position. I am not a prayer kind of person but will send positive thoughts and hopes your way. Hang in there and keep us informed.

Take care,
 
Hello Jen and Frickly! :Retro smile: Its great to hear from both of you. :D

Thanks for both stopping by! I'm down with a cold today so its a nice cheer up to come and see my friends.

big hugs to you both! Lisa :Retro smile:
 

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