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June Gloom / Life Beyond the Garage

Five separate (blog) writing efforts have been initiated in the past several weeks, yet I have not posted anything. As best I can tell, I'm having difficulty completing the thought. Or perhaps, I'm having difficulty determining whether or not the subject matter offered is at all worthwhile to anybody.

Right now, I'm back in bed, back in the same bedroom, back in a similar situation under similar circumstances to the ones that kept me bed bound for six years consecutively.

There are, of course, differences. Come August, I should regain my freedom, as that's when they are promising to install the stairlift. And even while being stuck upstairs, I am able to go out on the balcony - if and when someone is willing and able to bring me outside.

Note: the rubber ramp to the exterior is too steep, and / or too slippery, thus I cannot get the manual or electric wheelchair outside (much less, back inside) by myself.

In all honesty, I wouldn't be spending all that much time outside right now anyway. We've been as warm as 115 degrees as of late. Fortunately, and somewhat surprisingly, monsoon season kicked in earlier than usual, thanks to Tropical Storm Alberto ushering in copious amounts of moisture. Due to this, temperatures have moderated into the lower 110s, but the humidity is way the heck up there. And the evenings are no longer cooling off.

Note: We just had our hottest June on record. Sooner than later, no one will be able to live in the Desert Southwest, due to the extreme temperatures and lack of water.

But the clouds, yes we've got those forming over the mountains and elsewhere! All kinds of cumulus congestus blowing up all over the place, aiming towards the top of the stratosphere. We've mostly been rain-free here on the desert floor, with the exception being just over a half inch received a few nights ago. Still, I am grateful for the early arrival of the monsoon season - unpredictable elements add to this spice and variety of a life partially lived.

Even as I sit outside this morning, the sky is overcast from end to end. Quite unusual in the desert environs, especially in late June / early July.

Totally (in-depth) Health Update

My health isn't all that awful. Everybody suffers, so I’ll spare you the details (you're welcome).

Passions for People

My relations with my former wife are mostly agreeable. She's occasionally engaged, but primarily detached. Two weeks ago I expressed my desire for more frequent and direct interactions, so we've been playing board games every so often - a game called backgammon.

Besides her, I do have caregivers from 9:00 a.m. to noon, which presents varying opportunities for socialization. For the Tuesday through Friday time frame it's my regularly scheduled Navajo Woman. The visit typically includes up to 20 minutes worth of story time, depicting life on the reservation or other life happenings.

And then every Monday, it's a mystery mix and match.


Because my regular caregiver can't come on Monday's, they send me a wide variety of caregiving others, which, in a general sense, is good for me. That gives me someone new to engage at weekly intervals.

Otherwise, there ain't much happening on my end. My routine consists of waking up at the crack of dawn. Lying quietly in bed while considering my options. Then eventually manipulating the laptop while composing new abstract barely listenable music material. Then every so often I sit upright and take a look around, before reclining. And then maybe, I check out a Star Trek episode or watch a YouTube video involving cops, or perhaps some live storm chasing.


I did have to go to the hospital a couple of weeks ago for unilateral pulsatile tinnitus issues, combined with carotid artery neck pain. I was freaking out a bit, dealing with that for a month. The tests and scans thus far do not indicate a blockage, so more possibly it's cranial instability of some sort / misaligned upper vertebrae - which may possibly (doubtfully) play a role in my severe gastroparesis, having my vagus nerve impinged upon and constricted between the carotid artery and the jugular vein, etc. But probably not.

All-encompassing Self-diagnosis

Most likely it's my longstanding celiac disease, combined with damaged intestinal villi (that do not absorb vitamin D) that caused my severe gastroparesis, and then in turn, contributed to my overactive autoimmune system / leaky gut, etc.

Beyond that, my oral surgery scheduled for Friday had to be postponed due to a series of clusterflubs. The idea was to also have my feeding tube replaced while I was under general anesthesia, but orchestrating these efforts frustratingly failed (for now). I keep having to postpone as no one will help me. Yes, I am nearly at my wits end.

Positively Positive Environs

I've got air conditioning.

I am safe (in comparison to living in the garage)

I have a nice sliced view of the mountains and palm trees and (on occasion) cumulonimbus clouds.

I have internet access.

And it's super quiet all night long.

All that right there is enough to survive, a sort of Hierarchy of Needs being met.

Rapping Up

So you had to figure this would be kind of a boring blog entry, wouldn't you? And lo and behold, it is!

I have had some interesting interactions with medical personnel, a couple of caregivers, and a few “shouting down to my neighbors below” opportunities, but that's about the extent of my true life experiences upstairs.

Sooner than later, I'll be able to escape this bedroom, and also eventually, it won't be 1000 degrees outside. And then I'll have a whole different set of variables to work with in regards to direct and active socializing.

Take care,

from the balcony


at the office of doctors


a glorious stuck in-bed self-selfie within the purple palatial estate where I quietly reside


the ugly outdoors (rest of the week)



Sounds like a mix of good and bad, but a lot more good has come your way. How many people can say they live in a purple bedroom?! I hope you’re still partaking in the marijuana. It’s what keeps me sane these days, to a degree, as I’m back in bed after having had a year last year of improvement, in which I became unbedridden and moderate (from severe).
I’m back in bed after having had a year last year of improvement

That's rather unfortunate. Hopefully you can write the right the ship. Maddening illness.

I'm only using the marijuana when the pain is either severe or constant. I can handle intermittent.

Last night I was up every hour and a half, smoking a pre-roll, trying to get some sleep. But yesterday, I didn't need it at all. And then the day before I used marijuana all day long out of necessity. So yeah, I'm glad there's at least something to dull the pain ... unfortunately my mind temporarily downgrades as a result.

And if the pain is gnawing and persistent, I'll take the marijuana gummies for longer duration coverage.

Apparently I have an infection right now, but I don't want to take the prescribed Cipro. Last time I took it (2016) I experienced horrible side effects. Since I have a hyperactive immune system I'll let my white blood cells and antibodies take care of the problem! LOL

Hang in there :)
Hey......is there purple haze all through your brain.? (good picture by the way).

Good to hear from you Howard. Stairlift in August? That's awesome! For some reason I though you had mentioned in another blog that the lift wasn't possible? I'm probably dreaming as usual.

It's been bone dry here and they have called off fireworks display which is a common sense smart move.............especially because of all the fires NE from us. The cost of fireworks displays never worth it anyway in my opinion. All that money................thousands and thousands of dollars..poof gone in a matter of minutes. Can you imagine all the money spent all lover the U.S gone in one night. I'm sure the amount of money is staggering.

Anyhoooooooooooo. Take care my friend and remember how much you are loved.
So happy to hear from you!
We ll take it, big or small, whatever happens, we want to know!
If your carer tells you something you feel is ok to share, we want to hear that too!
What’s boring to you is rather fascinating to me…
I mean..120 degrees… can anyone or anything live at all?
And a Navajo carer? I don’t think I’ve ever met a Navajo in my entire life…

I have played backgammon, tho. And I’m rather fond of series involving cops and detectives.
Hey......is there purple haze all through your brain.?

Fortunately it's not a full-time feature. It takes about an hour for the effects to wear off.

For some reason I though you had mentioned in another blog that the lift wasn't possible?

It's possible, however, transferring at the bottom of the stairway into the first wheelchair will be rather difficult. And then there are logistical concerns beyond even that.

The cost of fireworks displays never worth it

Somehow those unspent monies would be funneled into something equally useless.

Plus, without a fireworks 4th celebration, the general population would take it upon themselves to detonate their own personalized explosives at home (or resort to gun shooting), which to me, would be a good thing... a Darwinian survival of the fittest. The perfect way to sift out some of the "stupid" in this country! :)
What’s boring to you is rather fascinating to me…

Well, nothing (beyond television) is boring to me. It's just that my real life experiences are so few. But I've got a few subject matter ideas that I may broach.

I mean..120 degrees… can anyone or anything live at all?

Right. The outdoors are very difficult for me to handle. After being on the balcony for ten minutes my heart rate notably increases to compensate.

Yesterday I made myself physically ill trying to attain my vitamin D quota. This heat is seriously oppressive.

Of course, I survived 122 degrees back in 1990, driving around town all day long delivering Chinese food in a vehicle with no air-conditioning. Eeeek!

Nice picture - looks seasonably cool and welcoming. :)
OK.....@Hufsamor, that last sentence was funny.

What isn't so funny, as @Howard can attest, is living in it. Well, a huge help is air conditioning, but the on/off cycle drive me nuts at night. As a result, there is no good sleep. But that's an old story, sorry folks.

Howard, I'm really sorry that the temps. have reached what they have already. Although I don't know why I say that as we're not far behind you.

Yes, you're right....it doesn't cool off at night. Actually, it's worse as the humidity is also higher. And we took our pool out after Rod's cardiac arrests, although the water's probably quite warm for those who kept their pools in ground. Lots of grumbling, yet we have folks who are really suffering. Floods, more floods, hurricanes now on the way, High heat in places that really can't tolerate, etc., etc. So let's stop grumbling before something really BIG hits us....like a fireball or something.

@Howard.....so the teeth are still in place. At the rate you're going, it will be December before you're able to use the stair lift and get out. Well, at least you can do your Xmas shopping.

Yes, ago, when we were young and frisky....we'd play chess or backgammon before bedtime. Can you believe that I can't even remember how to play either one. Monopoly anyone???

@Tammy.....so tonight the teenage boys from other areas will be setting off fireworks. It started last night. What is in testosterone....does anyone really know? Anything to do with pow! and fire! attracts all males, mine included. So another sleepless night while I stand guard. And I'll bet they'll make a very long weekend out of it all. And no, I really don't care if they lose a finger or toe.....the little ??. And yes, my grandson will probably be out there, too! Why can't they just stay home & watch the show in D.C. on TV? That's what we'll be doing.

Anyway, Howard, I'd say that life's looking better. Even better than that....you have whole apartment air conditioning. But get those teeth taken care of and your tube replaced. Is your son going to visit soon.
Yours Lenora
Plus, without a fireworks 4th celebration, the general population would take it upon themselves to detonate their own personalized explosives at home (or resort to gun shooting

That is EXACTLY what is going to happen in my city tonight.

Due to a recent mass shooting on Juneteenth, as well as out of control violent crime, the residents of this city can no longer have nice things, such as large gatherings for professional fireworks show on the 4th of July.

The DIY fireworks and gun fire started last weekend.

It's going to be an absolute sh*t show out there tonight. I feel very badly for our fire department and our outrageously understaffed police force.

Stay safe everyone!
The fireworks in D.C. were magnificent last evening. The house is still here, as well as the neighboring ones.....so apologies to males, perhaps they did stay home and watch it all on TV.

One station even had "sort of" pop music to the fireworks....again, magnificent.
Do you know that some people actually hosed their roofs down before it turned dark on July 4th? This misbehavior has gone on for a very long time. But it was better last night, thankfully. Yours, Lenora
Hi @Zebra.....I don't know where you live, but Juneteenth was celebrated for years by the folks in Galveston. THEY were the ones who didn't get notice of the freedom of the slaves.

Now it seems to have spread country wise......I don't understand that. I really don't. Now I'm not talking about the last five years, but forty-seven years ago when I came here. True, people in Houston and some in Dallas celebrated Juneteenth....but that was it. No big deal....perhaps a small parade.

How has this become a holiday for the country? Even the mail wasn't delivered yesterday, so that means a Federal holiday. Strange. Yours, Lenora
Well, a huge help is air conditioning, but the on/off cycle drive me nuts at night.

Fortunately, that doesn't bother me. The air conditioning is very quiet in the bedroom. And actually, compared to the nursing home, everything is extremely quiet here ...

it doesn't cool off at night. Actually, it's worse as the humidity is also higher.

That's the other part of the equation. It's just not cooling off here at all. I went outside last night at 9:30 p.m. and it was still 103°. And relatively humid (for the desert).

I used a spray bottle to drench myself, but with the humidity as high as it is, evaporative cooling effect is nominal.

I went outside just now for about 7 minutes in the 114° heat. In doing so, my heart rate typically jumps up about 15 to 20 beats per minute, depending upon how long I tough it out.

the teeth are still in place.

Yes, I can't seem to set the wheels into motion to get my feeding tube replaced at the same time, so I'm just going to go through the oral surgery in 2 weeks, and then dope up as much as I can for the feeding tube procedure soon thereafter. I figure if I ingest enough codeine and marijuana immediately prior to the procedure, The experience won't be so awful.

The DIY fireworks and gun fire started last weekend.

Our blasting and blowing up experience was unimpressive, for once. I hardly heard any gunshots either. I suspect the extreme heat had much to do with it. Why the hell wasn't it this quiet back when I was extremely sound sensitive?

oh. nice. 118 degrees today --- while I was outside for those magical 7 minutes about an hour ago

poor timing. I guess

not as much debate about global warming these days, wonder why

all-time record here in Phoenix is 122 degrees back in June of '90
that was a rough day
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