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Itching to run

Monday, July 13, 2009

I guess its been a good week. I know it has.

Yet I feel unsatisfied.

That seems strange to me. I am involved in things that just three months ago would have been beyond my ability to imagine. If youd told me then what the next three months would hold, I would have doubted that it was even possible.

Three months ago, right around now, I was newly online, with my very own laptop that my Baby bought for me from some money hed inherited. At that time I was checking my email once a day (there was never any there) and checking my bank balance online. And then Id close it up.

Since then, I have started writing for EmpowHer.com, and have now 18 articles published there, all taken from my website Ncubator.ca, which has 46 articles at present.

Ive added this blog with posts from mid-April (starting during the isolationist time period that was, unbeknownst to me drawing to an end) to about a week ago.

Ive had a few dozen requests to reprint some of my articles, and have seen some of my articles on numerous different websites.

I was invited to do an interview, and a podcast, within Ncubators first two weeks of existence.

All of this is fantastic, especially considering how solitary life had been till recently. I no longer feel that if I were to disappear, nobody outside of my immediate family would notice. That is very comforting.

I have done some writing for pay, a couple different copywriting gigs, and now a new writing job for Edubook.com which I am enjoying.

I belong to Facebook, with a bunch of old friends, and am a member and now an administrator (assistant) on Cort Johnsons Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Forums (Phoenix Rising).

I have reconnected with some old friends who I exchange emails with again. And I write, and write and write without vanishing into fog.

So how can I feel unsatisfied?

I have pondered this, it doesnt sound right to me either.

Heres what I think.

I think that it is NOT that I am dissatisfied with any of this. Only a moron could be.

I think its because, I just want more.

This feels more positive. Because it means, I can handle all this stuff that I have going on, and still have time and the ability to move into more things than Im doing now.

I had been afraid, with each new step, that this one or that one would cause the crash that I feared would be inevitable.

But I am still standing. Not only standing, but beginning to run. And still itching to run some more.

Comments

Yes, you write extremely well, Jody,

Your words flow in a gentle, meandering stream as though you're actually talking out loud.

Not many people can write this way. Some people seem to write in abrupt statements of fact, with little warmth or humor (good grief, how DO you spell this word - is it humor, or humour, I can't remember).

I suspect there's a little of the philosopher & poet in your soul.

What did you do before marriage & children? (if you don't mind me asking).

Victoria
 
Thanks Victoria.

I'm blushing.:eek:

First off, set your mind to rest, "humor" is the American spelling, and "humour" is the Canadian and UK spelling. So you are really covered either way. :)

Before I was married, I was a hippy, and a brooding melancholy philosopher as a matter of fact. :D Lived in my head as an idealist who didn't know how to fit in the real world. Was quiet and shy, and wrote reams in my journals.

Got a crash course in "real world" having 5 kids though. :D

Was a conservative Baptist for 10 yrs after I got married, and then a Pentecostal / charismatic for the next 10. The last 7, I have just been ... me.


Thanks for your sweet comments. I am touched.

Jody
 

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